(no subject)
will i kick myself in the ass if i ever read this again? no carlos you won't for once understand thats its ok to feel like this, and you have no right to look back and scoff at yourself like you always do when you re read these online entry's
i can finally see why it was not a wrong choice of what i made and what she made, there's no right or wrong , theres no reason anymore to be bitter . the 27th is now just a day and the life i once lived and got REALLY comfortable with.... is laid to rest . i look at it like a body that dies with its eyes open..... and tonight the lovely angel grew balls to close the eyes of this body..... now the body see's no evil see's no pain only eyes closed with better memories and peace and rest.
i see myself as that body laying there with eyes wide waiting to be shut... waiting for that look on my face , that look of pain and unwillingness to die .... has finally had my eyes shut by the new me. And the new me stares at this lifeless body says what a pity but how beautiful it all was. and to close its eyes and leave it blind to the pain it felt before it laid there to die..... thats the best way i can describe how it feels to no longer speak with her... leaving my love and my body laid to rest with eyes closed. i always said to myself if i die i want an open casket with my eyes open so everyone gets one more chance to feel me in their soul..... well metaphorically speaking i closed the eyes of the body i use to be because she doesnt need to feel me anymore i know she can i dont hope I KNOW SHE CAN FEEL IT.
theres is a terrible feeling in my gut that she can't handle how much beauty came out of pain.... that she can't over see these words i say as beauty..... but if you are reading this. this isn't a metaphor this is as blunt as it can be.
my love for you is not a pain . my love for you, reassures me when this situation between you and i gets to surreal. dont ever get the 2 mixed up all this pain i feel is because the situation is such a pain in the ass but knowing our love exists really helps me get over everything and helps me set myself free and let you free from guilt and pain. no more guilt no more pain no more wrongs no more rights. i dont have much more to say that any other update after this will be a glimpse of which direction my life is going thats about it.
its the 27th ..... i know i ' ll think of you and smile will you think of me? if you do... smile cause i love you = )
i can finally see why it was not a wrong choice of what i made and what she made, there's no right or wrong , theres no reason anymore to be bitter . the 27th is now just a day and the life i once lived and got REALLY comfortable with.... is laid to rest . i look at it like a body that dies with its eyes open..... and tonight the lovely angel grew balls to close the eyes of this body..... now the body see's no evil see's no pain only eyes closed with better memories and peace and rest.
i see myself as that body laying there with eyes wide waiting to be shut... waiting for that look on my face , that look of pain and unwillingness to die .... has finally had my eyes shut by the new me. And the new me stares at this lifeless body says what a pity but how beautiful it all was. and to close its eyes and leave it blind to the pain it felt before it laid there to die..... thats the best way i can describe how it feels to no longer speak with her... leaving my love and my body laid to rest with eyes closed. i always said to myself if i die i want an open casket with my eyes open so everyone gets one more chance to feel me in their soul..... well metaphorically speaking i closed the eyes of the body i use to be because she doesnt need to feel me anymore i know she can i dont hope I KNOW SHE CAN FEEL IT.
theres is a terrible feeling in my gut that she can't handle how much beauty came out of pain.... that she can't over see these words i say as beauty..... but if you are reading this. this isn't a metaphor this is as blunt as it can be.
my love for you is not a pain . my love for you, reassures me when this situation between you and i gets to surreal. dont ever get the 2 mixed up all this pain i feel is because the situation is such a pain in the ass but knowing our love exists really helps me get over everything and helps me set myself free and let you free from guilt and pain. no more guilt no more pain no more wrongs no more rights. i dont have much more to say that any other update after this will be a glimpse of which direction my life is going thats about it.
its the 27th ..... i know i ' ll think of you and smile will you think of me? if you do... smile cause i love you = )