March 13th, 2006 - Bonus Edition
This bonus edition of the newsletter includes:
Bonus for Issue 7, 3-13-06
Date: Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Guests: Bruce Willis, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Dropkick Murphys
Recap:
Tuesday’s show marked Conan’s return after the two week break from the Winter Olympics. The monologue went smoothly with jokes about President Bush, Saddam Hussein’s hunger strike, Hilary Clinton, Ashlee Simpson, and of course, the Olympics. Unfortunately, there was no string dance.
After Conan introduced Max and the band, they played "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin, which amused Conan. He started to imitate Robert Plant and told Max that the song was a good choice to play to wake the viewers up because tonight was a "cracker jack" show.
Act I started with a "Winter Olympics Small Talk Moment" between Conan and Max, expressing their enthusiasm for the games. Then, as usual, they stared blankly at each other and showed the viewers, once again, their amazing chemistry.
Next was the passing of the "Late Night Torch of Apathy." The torch was carried into the studio by an Olympic athlete that nobody watched, that was then passed to a representative of the World Baseball Classic airing on March 3rd, which no one will watch either.
Conan then told us that NBC was planning on making a made-for-TV movie about the drama behind the Olympics. He revealed the actors who would be portraying the Olympic athletes. The few stand outs were Michelle Kwan being played by actor Steven Seagal, Sasha Cohen being played by The Joker from Batman, and Germany’s sharp-shooting biathlon ace Michael Greece being played by Vice President Dick Cheney. "That’s just good casting."
After the commercial break, Bruce Willis joined Conan at the desk, looking casual and acting pretty laid-back and mellow. They started the interview by talking about Led Zeppelin, where Bruce mentioned how he mistakenly misheard one of their lyrics. Bruce then pulled out his own applause light because he didn’t like how his jokes didn’t get that many laughs and he pressed it a number of times. Conan brought up his new movie with Halle Berry and asked him how it was to work with her. Bruce responded with no words to describe the way he felt, but being "beyond comprension" (he meant to say “comprehension”). Conan agreed with his admiration for her and said that his eyes melted every time that she was on the show. Then they talked about Bruce’s new movie “16 Blocks” and they showed a boring clip.
The next guest was Mary Lynn Rajskub and Conan complimented her on her dress and she returned the compliment by saying she was frightened of Conan’s hair. He then brought up the show “24” and its popularity on the internet and asked her if she ever read what the fans wrote about her and the show. She said how she once read a thread where people were saying she was hot and they wanted to marry her, but by the time she got to the 7th post, someone wrote that she had a potato face. Conan told her that he once read online that people said "oh, he’s hot" and
"I want to marry him" (hmm, I wonder what board he could be referring to :P ) but then said that by number 6, it said he had a potato head. You could tell Conan enjoyed the interview and told her to come back soon because he enjoyed talking to her, to which she accepted by saying she liked his style.
The musical guest was Dropkick Murphys and they performed one of their
songs, which was cool because it featured a bagpipe.
-- conanincharge / Maria
Date: Wednesday, March 1, 2006
Guests: Gisele Bundchen, Bill Bellamy, Belle & Sebastian
Recap:
The monologue for Wednesday’s show included jokes about George Bush and Brokeback Mountain. Conan also did his impression of Bodie Miller skiing. After a few cat hisses to the camera at the mention of Gisele Bundchen, Conan walked over to the desk and danced a little to the song Max and the band played (“Finger Tips” by Stevie Wonder).
Conan then brought up how there would be no comic strip Boondocks for six months. This outraged one of the “audience members” (Brian McCann) and he committed suicide by running to a kayak in the studio and proceeded to fall off of an icy mountain. After this unfortunate event,
Conan told the audience that Toyota came in second in Fortune Magazine’s “Most Admired Company in the World” behind GE. This horrified an Asian fellow in the audience, and he too ran to another kayak in the studio and fell to his demise.
Next Conan told the story about the feud between Martha Stewart and Donald Trump where Martha blamed Donald for the failure of her Apprentice TV show. They then came out in the sketch Clutch Cargo. Conan mentioned how Martha’s catchphrase of "You just don’t fit in" was weak and she told him how that wasn’t her idea and her original catchphrase was "Suck it, bitch." Donald then came out and discussed his ever popular “The Apprentice” and his wife’s pregnancy.
Before Gisele came out, Conan mentioned that today was Ash Wednesday and that a church around the corner got a new priest that a lot of people were not happy with. A video was then showed of a priest with an oversized thumb spreading ashes on people’s forehead that resulted in huge, noticeable crosses.
Gisele was then introduced and Conan was, as usual, blown away by her beauty. Gisele tried to teach Conan breathing exercises to help relax and Conan told her that he was falling in love with her and that he had to call his wife and tell her. After that, to promote Victoria’s Secret’s new line of bras, she brought out a few and Conan tried on a nice baby blue one. You can download the Gisele interview at http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1ER3ADNX
After the break, Conan promoted Triumph’s return for tomorrow night’s episode and told viewers to tune in. Then to help viewers with newborn babies, Conan took out his guitar and proceeded to sing one of his gentle little lullabies. Video clips included a semi truck blowing up, a clip from “Dancing with the Stars”, Dr. Phil and Paula Abdul interview, a bear attacking a woman, and Barry Bonds dressed as a woman. You can download the lullaby at http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6CG6BK54
The next guest was Bill Bellamy. He talked about his new baby boy coming soon and talked about how guys should be able to have "one free booty" day so they don’t have to cheat on women. He promoted his new DVD "Back to My Roots" and his performance at Caroline’s Comedy Club in New York City.
The musical guest was Belle & Sebastian and they performed “Funny Little Frog” from their new CD “The Life Pursuit”. There is a streaming video of the performance at http://www.prefixmag.com/video/B/Belle-and-Sebastian/Funny-Little-Frog-Conan-OBrien/22
-- conanincharge / Maria
Date: Thursday, March 2, 2006
Guests: Bob Costas, Jenna Fischer, Dwayne Perkins
Recap:
At the start of the show, Conan did his routine jump and spin, and then “interactive” Late Night with Conan O’Brien (my favorite) ensued when Conan signaled an audience member to toss him his hat. (Screen caps of Conan & the hat are at http://www.conan-obrien.net/photos/screencaps/02-03-06/). Conan put the hat on, did a jig of sorts, and gave the hat back to the audience member. The first monologue joke was about the weather in New York, which somehow prompted Conan to do an impression of a drunk Bodie Miller. Conan revealed that Donald Trump denies wearing a hair piece; it’s just that he has one real hair wrapped around his head 700 times. Conan signaled to Max to play “The Apprentice” theme song so he could do his Donald impression. Conan started to bring his hair forward and suck in his cheeks, but the music fell short with two beats from the bass drum and some sporadic guitar-playing. Turns out Max dropped his stick -- for the first time ever. Conan reassured Max, “That’s OK. Remind me to screw you over sometime.” Conan did jokes about David Hasselhoff, Li’l Kim, and Simon Cowell/Paula Abdul. Conan again had the audience member throw him his hat, and as he wore the hat he did a dance and an impression of a guy that walked out of a corner bar at 3 in the morning. Conan also showed us how a hat can help him act humble when a joke bombs - “not that a joke here would ever bomb.” Finally he threw the hat back to the audience member and introduced the Max Weinberg 7.
During the walkover, the MW7 played “Dancing in the Streets” which Conan described as an incredibly inappropriate song for that day - my thoughts exactly. Then a male audience member rather loudly yelled something about “Walker Texas Ranger” as Conan was about to introduce the desk piece, but Conan ignored that. Conan told us that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was recently sent to report at the Chinese New Year celebration in NYC’s Chinatown since it was the year of the dog, so up came a Triumph remote. Triumph was shown at the festivities to the unamusement of many people there. First he was shown stealing a bunch of goods “because it was his year”. Then he was at a parade with other dogs - all of which he’d had “relations” with. He visited a Chinese deli and was about to eat a chicken foot smothered with gizzard and pork blood but instead puked all over the deli case before he had the chance. He visited an acupuncturist which quickly turned out to be S&M-tastic with the acupuncturist wearing a leather mask and Triumph begging him to do a bunch of stuff I never wanted to see done to a puppet. A friend of Robert Smigel at AST posted an email he got from Robert about the sketch before it aired in which Mr. Smigel said, “There's at least one extended sequence you won't regret tivo-ing” -- though I’m still trying to figure out what that was.
Emmy-award winning sportscaster Bob Costas stopped by in Act II. He was mildly annoyed with Conan about one of the delightful bits on last night’s show. Bob was referring to the hypothetical casting of a TV movie based on the Olympics in which Conan said Bob Costas would be played by Haley Joel Osment. Bob told Conan that, “In Finland -- where they took silver in curling and in hockey -- you are an Olympic God, so no Olympic movie could be cast without Conan O’Brien, or at least someone as Conan O’Brien.” So Bob went to the trouble of finding the right person to play Conan, and told us they had chosen the Wendy’s girl, although according to Bob “the likeness is not as striking as the president of Finland.” Conan was then shortly forced to acknowledge that he recently went to Finland, which was first mention of Finland since the return from the break. Conan said he was too busy in Finland to make it down to Torino where Bob was. Conan visited Bob at the Winter Olympics four years ago in Salt Lake City in his little booth, and he thinks technology will become so advanced that one day Bob will be able to do the broadcasting from his house. They discussed strange happenings at the opening Olympic ceremonies, including pine trees and snowballs with legs chasing things and each nation in the Parade of Nations being introduced to the tune of random American pop hits from the 70’s and 80’s. Next Conan said he was at the gym Wednesday working out “because you don’t just get a body like this” where he happened to see ESPN (he tried to switch it to “The View” but the remote didn’t work). Conan saw a video of Barry Bonds at spring training dressed in drag; a picture was shown to the audience. According to Bob, “You had switched to ‘The View’ - that’s Star Jones!” Actually, Bonds was just playing Paula Abdul in an American Idol skit to loosen up the troops. Bob informed us that once you take so many steroids, the testosterone turns to estrogen, to which Conan replied, “Don’t I know it!”
In Act III, Conan informed us that March is Women’s History Month... “Ladies in da house, ow!” Conan thinks it’s important to acknowledge the contributions women have made to America, so he is going to read the biography of Georgia O’Keefe. Max also wants to celebrate women, so he checked out a book on Susan B. Anthony from the library. Joel, dressed in a lovely blond wig and polka dot dress, said he’s not just going to read about women’s history, he’s doing to make women’s history. Two men surrounded him as he suggested, “Come on guys, who’s hungry for a sandwich?” The end… ?
Jenna Fischer chatted with Conan in Act IV. She co-stars in “The Office” Thursdays at 9:30 on NBC and is also in the film “Slither” which opens in theaters on March 31. Jenna discussed not being recognized in public. She had an encounter with a man at her hotel gym in which they were chatting and found they were both in town for work. The man asked what she did, so she told him she was an actress on a TV show called “The Office”. The man claimed he watched that show every week and loved the guy who has the crush on the receptionist girl… what’s his name -- John Krasinski? The man asked her what she did on the show, so she said she played that receptionist girl. He looked at her blankly and said, “Wow, You probably hear this all the time but you are MUCH thinner in real life.” Then Conan said, “Tell me who this man is - I will beat him to death!” Conan did say that once you’re on TV, “As many good things as you hear, you also hear bizarre things.” Conan told his story -- for the 50th time -- about walking down the street and having someone say to him, “Oh my God, you’re that guy from Conan O’Brien!” to which Conan replied, “Yeah, I’m Chip Whitley. I play Conan in the stage version of Late Night with Conan O’Brien.” Jenna discussed an odd job she had starting out as an actress in LA: She got a part as the 6th member of an international singing group a la the Spice Girls as the country-western American girl. Actually this turned out to be a front for a call girl service, but it took her 2 weeks to figure that out despite rehearsing songs about a truck stop at a guy’s penthouse as the other Spice Girls walked by her in lingerie. Jenna realized what she had gotten into when she protested the group needed more rehearsals before their first gig, and her boss told her it was mainly about companionship and she could “do as much or as little as she wanted”. Thank god she got out of that situation - Conan agreed. Now she’s content at “The Office” where they have weekly viewing parties at rotating cast/crew members’ houses to watch the show and lunch meetings with the other ladies on the show.
In Act V, comedian Dwayne Perkins did a standup routine. Dwayne will be appearing at Gotham Comedy Club in New York City May 26-28. My favorite jokes involved the fact that his mother is only 15 years older than him. For example, he can remember the day when his grandmother sat him and his mother down and told them both there was no Santa Claus. His biggest fear is that he may have take his mom to a nursing home when she’s 90 and he’s 75, and they will make him stay because “by the time you get home, it’s time to come right back.” Let it be known he doesn’t drink alcohol, so he suggested cake as an alternative for anyone who’d like to buy him drinks after a show to bond. Sounds good to me.
-- conansgoddess / Amanda
Date: Friday, March 3rd, 2006
Guests: Alec Baldwin, Fred Goss, The Derek Trucks Band
Recap:
On tonight's show: actor Alec Baldwin, actor Fred Goss, and musical guest The Derek Trucks Band. Plus, a special Oscar edition of "Conan on the Aisle", and Conan announces when the notorious Finland remotes will air.
In Friday night's monologue, Conan makes mention of President Bush's unwise words, the alleged Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding on Independence Day (yet they ironically got engaged in Paris, France?!
Consistency, people, consistency), Paris Hilton earnestly comparing herself to critic’s favorite actress Charlize Theron (hint: they're both "vying", yet only one remains classless), and a few obligatory jabs at films nominated for Sunday night's Academy Awards ceremony.
We receive news of Conan's recent trip to Finland in Act I, learning that next Friday, March 10th, Late Night will be airing an hour-long special covering the entire event. Let the VCR and TiVo preparations begin!
Next up, a special Oscar edition of one of my favorite segments, "Conan on the Aisle", where we get pseudo-clips and critiques from:
- Good Night, and Good Luck
- King Kong
- Capote
- Paradise Now
- Chronicles of Narnia
- Brokeback Mountain (You knew it was going to happen. You did.) Move over, Ebert & Roeper. Conan knows his stuff.
In Act II, notorious and slightly obsessive-compulsive actor Alec
Baldwin joined Conan for the cornucopia of Late Night interviews. After telling Conan that he wanted his job, the two got into discussing their Irish heritage and its various oddities. First, it was all about the food; namely, fried bologna which "is a delicacy" in Conan's house. ("There's a lot of fried bologna up in here!") Next, it was all about the faces, namely the oh-so Irish weight-gain problem.
Eventually, they move on to topics that don't make other heritages feel so left out: Alec talks about doing voice-overs for many commercials and the harsh (yet, amusing?) effect coffee has on his voice. When confronted by Conan, Alec seems a little taken aback that people would assume that James, a character on a show he voices for, “Thomas the Tank Engine”, would in fact be gay. I'm really having a hard time figuring out why people would think that. What, with James' girly voice, outright exclamations, and extreme facial expressions, that poor train is seconds away from auditioning for Season 3 of Project Runway.
Baldwin accepts defeat and refers to the train's adventures as Brokeback Railroad.
Later, he tells Conan that he gets poorly-timed compliments from his
SNL days, works in an inadvertent sexual innuendo involving a priest,
disses the guest interview chair, and finally plugs his off-Broadway role in “Entertaining Mr. Sloane”.
Act III: Conan mentions upcoming guests, followed by words from the
Babbling Floor-Whipper ("Floors are impertinent bitches!"), and the Scatting Wall-Holder. Oh yeah.
Actor Fred Goss stopped by in Act IV to: a) promote his new show, “Sons
& Daughters”; b) make odd sexual references about his talk show experience (or lack thereof); c) talk about bumper stickers; d) bore me; or e) all of the above. If you guessed choice "e", you get one of those cheesy gold stars from second grade.
Apparently, Goss started off as a bar mitzvah video editor, and at some point moved into the world of bumper sticker sales at Grateful Dead concerts. Just as the interview gets slightly serious, Goss mentions he "was raised pedestrian" in reference to religion. Aha! He also wants viewers to know that his newest endeavor, “Sons & Daughters”, is more drama than comedy. It's not a "dramedy", it's a "comma". Tune in to see if his character plays a major part in bumper sticker sales, ha.
In Friday's fifth and final act, musical guest The Derek Trucks Band performed a song from their newest album "Songlines". My reward for looking their album up on the Amazon website: finding out that they have a song entitled "I'd Rather Be Blind, Crippled, and Crazy".
-- redhotpolkad0ts / Wendy
Conan Videos
Conan's Gisele Bundchen interview - March 1, 2006
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1ER3ADNX
Conan's Lullaby from March 1, 2006
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6CG6BK54
Belle & Sebastian perform "Funny Little Frog" - March 1, 2006 (streaming)
http://www.prefixmag.com/video/B/Belle-and-Sebastian/Funny-Little-Frog-Conan-OBrien/22
Conan Joins NBC Security (from fall 2005)
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8R7N34XL
Birdwatching in Central Park from July 28, 2005
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=040SJWUW
Conan's "Tonight Show" Host Announcement from September 28, 2004
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SO8YRMGC
Jay Leno making the announcement about Conan taking over the "Tonight Show" from the “Tonight Show”, September 27, 2004
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WRUMJFBM
Hannigan the Hair Tonic Salesman
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HXQ9FNU6
Late Night’s Eye Fi Commercial
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=J59WXMDD
Satellite TV Channels bit -- Sean Connery Overdubs the Classics channel and Corporate Mascots Soap Opera channel
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8CBS2FA1
Conan with the ladies from 'Charlie's Angels Full Throttle' on June 26, 2003
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OMYK6AS1
The Muppets’ "She Drives Me Crazy" video from the 1994 album “Kermit Unpigged” (streaming)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciXG6dLOgkE&search=Conan%20O'Brien
MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch with Conan and Bill Maher (clay-animation -- streaming)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlCriHf0bUg&search=Conan%20O%27Brien
Please email stephwearsshades@aol.com if you want to contribute one of the following things to our newsletter:
*Euuuge thank you to conanincharge & redhotpolkad0ts for the recaps!
*Episode recap screen caps provided by http://www.latenighttorrents.com/forum/
*Conan-OBrien.net screencaps by; content compiled and edited by conansgoddess
Feel free to comment/make suggestions!
- February 28 - March 3 Episode Recaps
- Conan Videos
Bonus for Issue 7, 3-13-06
Date: Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Guests: Bruce Willis, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Dropkick Murphys
Recap:
Tuesday’s show marked Conan’s return after the two week break from the Winter Olympics. The monologue went smoothly with jokes about President Bush, Saddam Hussein’s hunger strike, Hilary Clinton, Ashlee Simpson, and of course, the Olympics. Unfortunately, there was no string dance.
After Conan introduced Max and the band, they played "The Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin, which amused Conan. He started to imitate Robert Plant and told Max that the song was a good choice to play to wake the viewers up because tonight was a "cracker jack" show.
Act I started with a "Winter Olympics Small Talk Moment" between Conan and Max, expressing their enthusiasm for the games. Then, as usual, they stared blankly at each other and showed the viewers, once again, their amazing chemistry.
Next was the passing of the "Late Night Torch of Apathy." The torch was carried into the studio by an Olympic athlete that nobody watched, that was then passed to a representative of the World Baseball Classic airing on March 3rd, which no one will watch either.
Conan then told us that NBC was planning on making a made-for-TV movie about the drama behind the Olympics. He revealed the actors who would be portraying the Olympic athletes. The few stand outs were Michelle Kwan being played by actor Steven Seagal, Sasha Cohen being played by The Joker from Batman, and Germany’s sharp-shooting biathlon ace Michael Greece being played by Vice President Dick Cheney. "That’s just good casting."
After the commercial break, Bruce Willis joined Conan at the desk, looking casual and acting pretty laid-back and mellow. They started the interview by talking about Led Zeppelin, where Bruce mentioned how he mistakenly misheard one of their lyrics. Bruce then pulled out his own applause light because he didn’t like how his jokes didn’t get that many laughs and he pressed it a number of times. Conan brought up his new movie with Halle Berry and asked him how it was to work with her. Bruce responded with no words to describe the way he felt, but being "beyond comprension" (he meant to say “comprehension”). Conan agreed with his admiration for her and said that his eyes melted every time that she was on the show. Then they talked about Bruce’s new movie “16 Blocks” and they showed a boring clip.
The next guest was Mary Lynn Rajskub and Conan complimented her on her dress and she returned the compliment by saying she was frightened of Conan’s hair. He then brought up the show “24” and its popularity on the internet and asked her if she ever read what the fans wrote about her and the show. She said how she once read a thread where people were saying she was hot and they wanted to marry her, but by the time she got to the 7th post, someone wrote that she had a potato face. Conan told her that he once read online that people said "oh, he’s hot" and
"I want to marry him" (hmm, I wonder what board he could be referring to :P ) but then said that by number 6, it said he had a potato head. You could tell Conan enjoyed the interview and told her to come back soon because he enjoyed talking to her, to which she accepted by saying she liked his style.
The musical guest was Dropkick Murphys and they performed one of their
songs, which was cool because it featured a bagpipe.
-- conanincharge / Maria
Date: Wednesday, March 1, 2006
Guests: Gisele Bundchen, Bill Bellamy, Belle & Sebastian
Recap:
The monologue for Wednesday’s show included jokes about George Bush and Brokeback Mountain. Conan also did his impression of Bodie Miller skiing. After a few cat hisses to the camera at the mention of Gisele Bundchen, Conan walked over to the desk and danced a little to the song Max and the band played (“Finger Tips” by Stevie Wonder).
Conan then brought up how there would be no comic strip Boondocks for six months. This outraged one of the “audience members” (Brian McCann) and he committed suicide by running to a kayak in the studio and proceeded to fall off of an icy mountain. After this unfortunate event,
Conan told the audience that Toyota came in second in Fortune Magazine’s “Most Admired Company in the World” behind GE. This horrified an Asian fellow in the audience, and he too ran to another kayak in the studio and fell to his demise.
Next Conan told the story about the feud between Martha Stewart and Donald Trump where Martha blamed Donald for the failure of her Apprentice TV show. They then came out in the sketch Clutch Cargo. Conan mentioned how Martha’s catchphrase of "You just don’t fit in" was weak and she told him how that wasn’t her idea and her original catchphrase was "Suck it, bitch." Donald then came out and discussed his ever popular “The Apprentice” and his wife’s pregnancy.
Before Gisele came out, Conan mentioned that today was Ash Wednesday and that a church around the corner got a new priest that a lot of people were not happy with. A video was then showed of a priest with an oversized thumb spreading ashes on people’s forehead that resulted in huge, noticeable crosses.
Gisele was then introduced and Conan was, as usual, blown away by her beauty. Gisele tried to teach Conan breathing exercises to help relax and Conan told her that he was falling in love with her and that he had to call his wife and tell her. After that, to promote Victoria’s Secret’s new line of bras, she brought out a few and Conan tried on a nice baby blue one. You can download the Gisele interview at http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1ER3ADNX
After the break, Conan promoted Triumph’s return for tomorrow night’s episode and told viewers to tune in. Then to help viewers with newborn babies, Conan took out his guitar and proceeded to sing one of his gentle little lullabies. Video clips included a semi truck blowing up, a clip from “Dancing with the Stars”, Dr. Phil and Paula Abdul interview, a bear attacking a woman, and Barry Bonds dressed as a woman. You can download the lullaby at http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6CG6BK54
The next guest was Bill Bellamy. He talked about his new baby boy coming soon and talked about how guys should be able to have "one free booty" day so they don’t have to cheat on women. He promoted his new DVD "Back to My Roots" and his performance at Caroline’s Comedy Club in New York City.
The musical guest was Belle & Sebastian and they performed “Funny Little Frog” from their new CD “The Life Pursuit”. There is a streaming video of the performance at http://www.prefixmag.com/video/B/Belle-and-Sebastian/Funny-Little-Frog-Conan-OBrien/22
-- conanincharge / Maria
Date: Thursday, March 2, 2006
Guests: Bob Costas, Jenna Fischer, Dwayne Perkins
Recap:
At the start of the show, Conan did his routine jump and spin, and then “interactive” Late Night with Conan O’Brien (my favorite) ensued when Conan signaled an audience member to toss him his hat. (Screen caps of Conan & the hat are at http://www.conan-obrien.net/photos/screencaps/02-03-06/). Conan put the hat on, did a jig of sorts, and gave the hat back to the audience member. The first monologue joke was about the weather in New York, which somehow prompted Conan to do an impression of a drunk Bodie Miller. Conan revealed that Donald Trump denies wearing a hair piece; it’s just that he has one real hair wrapped around his head 700 times. Conan signaled to Max to play “The Apprentice” theme song so he could do his Donald impression. Conan started to bring his hair forward and suck in his cheeks, but the music fell short with two beats from the bass drum and some sporadic guitar-playing. Turns out Max dropped his stick -- for the first time ever. Conan reassured Max, “That’s OK. Remind me to screw you over sometime.” Conan did jokes about David Hasselhoff, Li’l Kim, and Simon Cowell/Paula Abdul. Conan again had the audience member throw him his hat, and as he wore the hat he did a dance and an impression of a guy that walked out of a corner bar at 3 in the morning. Conan also showed us how a hat can help him act humble when a joke bombs - “not that a joke here would ever bomb.” Finally he threw the hat back to the audience member and introduced the Max Weinberg 7.
During the walkover, the MW7 played “Dancing in the Streets” which Conan described as an incredibly inappropriate song for that day - my thoughts exactly. Then a male audience member rather loudly yelled something about “Walker Texas Ranger” as Conan was about to introduce the desk piece, but Conan ignored that. Conan told us that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was recently sent to report at the Chinese New Year celebration in NYC’s Chinatown since it was the year of the dog, so up came a Triumph remote. Triumph was shown at the festivities to the unamusement of many people there. First he was shown stealing a bunch of goods “because it was his year”. Then he was at a parade with other dogs - all of which he’d had “relations” with. He visited a Chinese deli and was about to eat a chicken foot smothered with gizzard and pork blood but instead puked all over the deli case before he had the chance. He visited an acupuncturist which quickly turned out to be S&M-tastic with the acupuncturist wearing a leather mask and Triumph begging him to do a bunch of stuff I never wanted to see done to a puppet. A friend of Robert Smigel at AST posted an email he got from Robert about the sketch before it aired in which Mr. Smigel said, “There's at least one extended sequence you won't regret tivo-ing” -- though I’m still trying to figure out what that was.
Emmy-award winning sportscaster Bob Costas stopped by in Act II. He was mildly annoyed with Conan about one of the delightful bits on last night’s show. Bob was referring to the hypothetical casting of a TV movie based on the Olympics in which Conan said Bob Costas would be played by Haley Joel Osment. Bob told Conan that, “In Finland -- where they took silver in curling and in hockey -- you are an Olympic God, so no Olympic movie could be cast without Conan O’Brien, or at least someone as Conan O’Brien.” So Bob went to the trouble of finding the right person to play Conan, and told us they had chosen the Wendy’s girl, although according to Bob “the likeness is not as striking as the president of Finland.” Conan was then shortly forced to acknowledge that he recently went to Finland, which was first mention of Finland since the return from the break. Conan said he was too busy in Finland to make it down to Torino where Bob was. Conan visited Bob at the Winter Olympics four years ago in Salt Lake City in his little booth, and he thinks technology will become so advanced that one day Bob will be able to do the broadcasting from his house. They discussed strange happenings at the opening Olympic ceremonies, including pine trees and snowballs with legs chasing things and each nation in the Parade of Nations being introduced to the tune of random American pop hits from the 70’s and 80’s. Next Conan said he was at the gym Wednesday working out “because you don’t just get a body like this” where he happened to see ESPN (he tried to switch it to “The View” but the remote didn’t work). Conan saw a video of Barry Bonds at spring training dressed in drag; a picture was shown to the audience. According to Bob, “You had switched to ‘The View’ - that’s Star Jones!” Actually, Bonds was just playing Paula Abdul in an American Idol skit to loosen up the troops. Bob informed us that once you take so many steroids, the testosterone turns to estrogen, to which Conan replied, “Don’t I know it!”
In Act III, Conan informed us that March is Women’s History Month... “Ladies in da house, ow!” Conan thinks it’s important to acknowledge the contributions women have made to America, so he is going to read the biography of Georgia O’Keefe. Max also wants to celebrate women, so he checked out a book on Susan B. Anthony from the library. Joel, dressed in a lovely blond wig and polka dot dress, said he’s not just going to read about women’s history, he’s doing to make women’s history. Two men surrounded him as he suggested, “Come on guys, who’s hungry for a sandwich?” The end… ?
Jenna Fischer chatted with Conan in Act IV. She co-stars in “The Office” Thursdays at 9:30 on NBC and is also in the film “Slither” which opens in theaters on March 31. Jenna discussed not being recognized in public. She had an encounter with a man at her hotel gym in which they were chatting and found they were both in town for work. The man asked what she did, so she told him she was an actress on a TV show called “The Office”. The man claimed he watched that show every week and loved the guy who has the crush on the receptionist girl… what’s his name -- John Krasinski? The man asked her what she did on the show, so she said she played that receptionist girl. He looked at her blankly and said, “Wow, You probably hear this all the time but you are MUCH thinner in real life.” Then Conan said, “Tell me who this man is - I will beat him to death!” Conan did say that once you’re on TV, “As many good things as you hear, you also hear bizarre things.” Conan told his story -- for the 50th time -- about walking down the street and having someone say to him, “Oh my God, you’re that guy from Conan O’Brien!” to which Conan replied, “Yeah, I’m Chip Whitley. I play Conan in the stage version of Late Night with Conan O’Brien.” Jenna discussed an odd job she had starting out as an actress in LA: She got a part as the 6th member of an international singing group a la the Spice Girls as the country-western American girl. Actually this turned out to be a front for a call girl service, but it took her 2 weeks to figure that out despite rehearsing songs about a truck stop at a guy’s penthouse as the other Spice Girls walked by her in lingerie. Jenna realized what she had gotten into when she protested the group needed more rehearsals before their first gig, and her boss told her it was mainly about companionship and she could “do as much or as little as she wanted”. Thank god she got out of that situation - Conan agreed. Now she’s content at “The Office” where they have weekly viewing parties at rotating cast/crew members’ houses to watch the show and lunch meetings with the other ladies on the show.
In Act V, comedian Dwayne Perkins did a standup routine. Dwayne will be appearing at Gotham Comedy Club in New York City May 26-28. My favorite jokes involved the fact that his mother is only 15 years older than him. For example, he can remember the day when his grandmother sat him and his mother down and told them both there was no Santa Claus. His biggest fear is that he may have take his mom to a nursing home when she’s 90 and he’s 75, and they will make him stay because “by the time you get home, it’s time to come right back.” Let it be known he doesn’t drink alcohol, so he suggested cake as an alternative for anyone who’d like to buy him drinks after a show to bond. Sounds good to me.
-- conansgoddess / Amanda
Date: Friday, March 3rd, 2006
Guests: Alec Baldwin, Fred Goss, The Derek Trucks Band
Recap:
On tonight's show: actor Alec Baldwin, actor Fred Goss, and musical guest The Derek Trucks Band. Plus, a special Oscar edition of "Conan on the Aisle", and Conan announces when the notorious Finland remotes will air.
In Friday night's monologue, Conan makes mention of President Bush's unwise words, the alleged Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding on Independence Day (yet they ironically got engaged in Paris, France?!
Consistency, people, consistency), Paris Hilton earnestly comparing herself to critic’s favorite actress Charlize Theron (hint: they're both "vying", yet only one remains classless), and a few obligatory jabs at films nominated for Sunday night's Academy Awards ceremony.
We receive news of Conan's recent trip to Finland in Act I, learning that next Friday, March 10th, Late Night will be airing an hour-long special covering the entire event. Let the VCR and TiVo preparations begin!
Next up, a special Oscar edition of one of my favorite segments, "Conan on the Aisle", where we get pseudo-clips and critiques from:
- Good Night, and Good Luck
- King Kong
- Capote
- Paradise Now
- Chronicles of Narnia
- Brokeback Mountain (You knew it was going to happen. You did.) Move over, Ebert & Roeper. Conan knows his stuff.
In Act II, notorious and slightly obsessive-compulsive actor Alec
Baldwin joined Conan for the cornucopia of Late Night interviews. After telling Conan that he wanted his job, the two got into discussing their Irish heritage and its various oddities. First, it was all about the food; namely, fried bologna which "is a delicacy" in Conan's house. ("There's a lot of fried bologna up in here!") Next, it was all about the faces, namely the oh-so Irish weight-gain problem.
Eventually, they move on to topics that don't make other heritages feel so left out: Alec talks about doing voice-overs for many commercials and the harsh (yet, amusing?) effect coffee has on his voice. When confronted by Conan, Alec seems a little taken aback that people would assume that James, a character on a show he voices for, “Thomas the Tank Engine”, would in fact be gay. I'm really having a hard time figuring out why people would think that. What, with James' girly voice, outright exclamations, and extreme facial expressions, that poor train is seconds away from auditioning for Season 3 of Project Runway.
Baldwin accepts defeat and refers to the train's adventures as Brokeback Railroad.
Later, he tells Conan that he gets poorly-timed compliments from his
SNL days, works in an inadvertent sexual innuendo involving a priest,
disses the guest interview chair, and finally plugs his off-Broadway role in “Entertaining Mr. Sloane”.
Act III: Conan mentions upcoming guests, followed by words from the
Babbling Floor-Whipper ("Floors are impertinent bitches!"), and the Scatting Wall-Holder. Oh yeah.
Actor Fred Goss stopped by in Act IV to: a) promote his new show, “Sons
& Daughters”; b) make odd sexual references about his talk show experience (or lack thereof); c) talk about bumper stickers; d) bore me; or e) all of the above. If you guessed choice "e", you get one of those cheesy gold stars from second grade.
Apparently, Goss started off as a bar mitzvah video editor, and at some point moved into the world of bumper sticker sales at Grateful Dead concerts. Just as the interview gets slightly serious, Goss mentions he "was raised pedestrian" in reference to religion. Aha! He also wants viewers to know that his newest endeavor, “Sons & Daughters”, is more drama than comedy. It's not a "dramedy", it's a "comma". Tune in to see if his character plays a major part in bumper sticker sales, ha.
In Friday's fifth and final act, musical guest The Derek Trucks Band performed a song from their newest album "Songlines". My reward for looking their album up on the Amazon website: finding out that they have a song entitled "I'd Rather Be Blind, Crippled, and Crazy".
-- redhotpolkad0ts / Wendy
Conan Videos
Conan's Gisele Bundchen interview - March 1, 2006
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=1ER3ADNX
Conan's Lullaby from March 1, 2006
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=6CG6BK54
Belle & Sebastian perform "Funny Little Frog" - March 1, 2006 (streaming)
http://www.prefixmag.com/video/B/Belle-and-Sebastian/Funny-Little-Frog-Conan-OBrien/22
Conan Joins NBC Security (from fall 2005)
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8R7N34XL
Birdwatching in Central Park from July 28, 2005
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=040SJWUW
Conan's "Tonight Show" Host Announcement from September 28, 2004
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SO8YRMGC
Jay Leno making the announcement about Conan taking over the "Tonight Show" from the “Tonight Show”, September 27, 2004
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WRUMJFBM
Hannigan the Hair Tonic Salesman
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=HXQ9FNU6
Late Night’s Eye Fi Commercial
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=J59WXMDD
Satellite TV Channels bit -- Sean Connery Overdubs the Classics channel and Corporate Mascots Soap Opera channel
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=8CBS2FA1
Conan with the ladies from 'Charlie's Angels Full Throttle' on June 26, 2003
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=OMYK6AS1
The Muppets’ "She Drives Me Crazy" video from the 1994 album “Kermit Unpigged” (streaming)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciXG6dLOgkE&search=Conan%20O'Brien
MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch with Conan and Bill Maher (clay-animation -- streaming)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlCriHf0bUg&search=Conan%20O%27Brien
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*Euuuge thank you to conanincharge & redhotpolkad0ts for the recaps!
*Episode recap screen caps provided by http://www.latenighttorrents.com/forum/
*Conan-OBrien.net screencaps by; content compiled and edited by conansgoddess
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