Superstar DJs, Here We Go!
Right, get ready for a long un! I'm in a thinking mood :Op
Well i'm writing because i'm feeling, er, great :O/ I feel really happy and content and have done for the last couple of days. It feels like something big is going to happen, i'm not sure whether it's going to be something good or something bad, but something must be coming because i feel too relaxed! One of the reasons i feel so good is down to the qutting of the pipeweed.
For the last 2 months or so i've been smoking at least 3 spliffs every single night and had almost become dependent on it. When Sandy was on earlies last week, i couldn't wait for her to get home to have that first spliff. I don't know why i thought it was doing me good. It's supposed to relax you, but for me it was doing the complete opposite. But now, even with Matt and Sandy smoking it still, i've told them i don't want any, and even when it has been offered free of charge, i've turned it down. And i feel so much better for it.
Also normal cigarette consumption has dropped dramatically, and has done so for a while now, so that's excellent too!
Anyways today, finished off my online CV and sent it to a few places, Tesco being one of them. That would be perfect for a summer job, and not wishing to blow my own trumpet, but i'm probably ten times as competent as at least 90% of the people that work in there anyway.
Woke up a bit earlier today, sleeping pattern is fucked, but maybe it's coming back. Chatted to Sandy this morning, her friend at work was made redundent and Sandy is pissed off with it, but advised her to stick it out as she has an interview for a new position on Thursday. Seems like she wants to stay here until August which is good. We've grown more fond of each other over the last week or so. Matt was away on holiday last week, and he's had to go to Belgium this week with work, so it's just been me and her. Have a good laugh with her, and watch the reality shows (Big Brother, and her favourite Celeb Love Island) more about that later. So yeah, that's cool.
I was thinking about my fascination for these reality shows, and i reckon it comes from my Mum. I'm really interested in people, how they interract and develop in certain situations. I find it fascinating.
Although i can't confess to be really enjoying Love Island, there's been some good inter-celeb action. The most intriguing one being Lady Isabella Hervey and Paul Danan. Now i like both, Paul can be very sweet (very camp at times) and Isabella is a little babe, and there was obviously some sparks there at the very start. Paul was the one going after Isabella, but he was coming on far too strong and she was a bit taken aback. She told him they were just great mates, and he got really upset about all that.
As time went on, Paul got worse and worse, and got so drunk one night he got kicked out of the resort, and whilst he was gone Isabella suddenly realised how much she missed him. When he came back she was obviously quite overcome with seeing him again and for the next couple of days they got very close. She told him she was looking forward to going into the Love Shack (a private resort for just 2 celebs), so she could see if what she was feeling was really true. He showed a new found maturity and told her he understood how she didn't want to do anything with everybody else around. It was really sweet to see them so relaxed in each others company.
And then they threw in a busty American model/actress. Paul was immidiately like a dog on heat around her, and completely forgot about Isabella. They ended up rowing and falling out. Watching the live feed tonight, you could see poor Isabella sitting alone feeling so confused that one minute she suddenly realised she had feelings for Paul, and now Paul was following the new girl round like a love sick puppy dog. It was horrible to watch, yet strangely compelling. She deserves much better than him, but if he could open up his mind and see how good for him she would be, they might make a nice couple. Sadly i think that time has gone and it's a shame.
So yeah i mentioned getting all this interest in people from my Mum earlier, and one particular memory sticks in my mind from when we on holiday in the USA in 1995. We were travelling around America, and i can't remember where we were at this point, but we had to find a hotel as it was getting late. I think we ended up in a Holiday Inn, right at the top floor looking down on the streets of wherever we were. My Mum was immidiately at the window watching the everybody going about their business (remember this was America and people are always shopping/drinking/shagging/stabbing into all hours of the night). My Dad had to tear her away from the window in the end to go to bed. Then i remember waking up in the small hours, to see my Dad getting up, he told me my Mum was back at the window, and there she was sitting there just watching everything go by. I don't know why this sticks with me as i'm not usually one for memories, but it came back tonight.
I was also thinking about my Dad, and feeling guilty that i don't feel like i miss him as much as i should. Obviously i do miss him loads, but maybe i never got to know him properly when he was here. I'd like to think if he were still here we'd be quite close now, but that's thinking with the benefit of hindsight. If true be told i'd probably be no closer to him than i am to my Mum, but i think i'm getting closer to my Mum.
I'd have loved to introduced my Dad to all the other motorsport that i watch now. He was the one who got me and my brother into Formula One (in the end i chose F1, my brother football), and F1 was pretty much the only series we ever watched. It would have been nice to have repaid the favour, as it were, and opened his eyes up to other racing. I'd have loved to have taken him to Indianapolis one day to watch the Indy 500, the biggest race on the planet, or Monaco, to see the Grand Prix, and it's a shame i'll neveer get that opportunity now. But you can't change what's been and gone i suppose. As Gandalf wisely said "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us" and maybe i took him for grante d, but i'm sure he'd be proud of me nontheless.
I actually came out of hiding today also. I'd been ignoring phone calls and texts from people i used to work with, but today i answered everything, explained i'd been a bit down, and there's a few good things in the pipeline, which, before i wasn't looking forward too, but now i'm really excited about.
Quite soon, all being well, i shall be visiting an old friend too, who i haven't seen much of in real life recently, but we go back quite a long way anyway. Again, this, i was apprehensive about before, but now i can't wait to make definite plans, and i'm really looking forward to it.
And so concludes the essay. So much was buzzing round my mind tonight (i think the old brain is benefitting from not being poisioned). I've had a shitty head cold for the last three/four days, but that seems to be clearing now, the sun is out and summer is coming..............
*bursts into song*
Summer is coming
And I hope I feel better by the time it does
Then I could leave my room my cocoon
Find the door and walk out to the sun
Feel like I've moved on
Lessons learnt my mind is feeling calm and so reassured
Yeah things are on the up
I'm on top of the situation I've endured
Took my time to come around
From the day that I was shot down
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, cos I was somebody new
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, know what to do
A Silhouette in the shadows
I drank too much and darkness settled in and drew in me
And oh my bleeding heart did start to repair
And I could clearly see
Open the windows
Serotonin and the vitamins C D and E
Oh let it all sink in to your skin close your eyes
And you can feel the release
Took my time to come around
From the day that I was shot down
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, cos I was somebody new
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, know what to do
Summer is coming
And I hope I feel better by the time it does
Then I could leave my room
and walk out to the sun
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, cos I was somebody new
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, know what to do
Tried so many ways to come through for you
Tried to get it right and really improve
And yeah I really wanted to
Took my time to come around
Breathing in and breathing out
Won't you see what I can do
When I leave my room
This shall be my feel good track of the summer. This and Decent Days And Nights which i'm obsessed with at the moment.
Sayonara!
XXX
Well i'm writing because i'm feeling, er, great :O/ I feel really happy and content and have done for the last couple of days. It feels like something big is going to happen, i'm not sure whether it's going to be something good or something bad, but something must be coming because i feel too relaxed! One of the reasons i feel so good is down to the qutting of the pipeweed.
For the last 2 months or so i've been smoking at least 3 spliffs every single night and had almost become dependent on it. When Sandy was on earlies last week, i couldn't wait for her to get home to have that first spliff. I don't know why i thought it was doing me good. It's supposed to relax you, but for me it was doing the complete opposite. But now, even with Matt and Sandy smoking it still, i've told them i don't want any, and even when it has been offered free of charge, i've turned it down. And i feel so much better for it.
Also normal cigarette consumption has dropped dramatically, and has done so for a while now, so that's excellent too!
Anyways today, finished off my online CV and sent it to a few places, Tesco being one of them. That would be perfect for a summer job, and not wishing to blow my own trumpet, but i'm probably ten times as competent as at least 90% of the people that work in there anyway.
Woke up a bit earlier today, sleeping pattern is fucked, but maybe it's coming back. Chatted to Sandy this morning, her friend at work was made redundent and Sandy is pissed off with it, but advised her to stick it out as she has an interview for a new position on Thursday. Seems like she wants to stay here until August which is good. We've grown more fond of each other over the last week or so. Matt was away on holiday last week, and he's had to go to Belgium this week with work, so it's just been me and her. Have a good laugh with her, and watch the reality shows (Big Brother, and her favourite Celeb Love Island) more about that later. So yeah, that's cool.
I was thinking about my fascination for these reality shows, and i reckon it comes from my Mum. I'm really interested in people, how they interract and develop in certain situations. I find it fascinating.
Although i can't confess to be really enjoying Love Island, there's been some good inter-celeb action. The most intriguing one being Lady Isabella Hervey and Paul Danan. Now i like both, Paul can be very sweet (very camp at times) and Isabella is a little babe, and there was obviously some sparks there at the very start. Paul was the one going after Isabella, but he was coming on far too strong and she was a bit taken aback. She told him they were just great mates, and he got really upset about all that.
As time went on, Paul got worse and worse, and got so drunk one night he got kicked out of the resort, and whilst he was gone Isabella suddenly realised how much she missed him. When he came back she was obviously quite overcome with seeing him again and for the next couple of days they got very close. She told him she was looking forward to going into the Love Shack (a private resort for just 2 celebs), so she could see if what she was feeling was really true. He showed a new found maturity and told her he understood how she didn't want to do anything with everybody else around. It was really sweet to see them so relaxed in each others company.
And then they threw in a busty American model/actress. Paul was immidiately like a dog on heat around her, and completely forgot about Isabella. They ended up rowing and falling out. Watching the live feed tonight, you could see poor Isabella sitting alone feeling so confused that one minute she suddenly realised she had feelings for Paul, and now Paul was following the new girl round like a love sick puppy dog. It was horrible to watch, yet strangely compelling. She deserves much better than him, but if he could open up his mind and see how good for him she would be, they might make a nice couple. Sadly i think that time has gone and it's a shame.
So yeah i mentioned getting all this interest in people from my Mum earlier, and one particular memory sticks in my mind from when we on holiday in the USA in 1995. We were travelling around America, and i can't remember where we were at this point, but we had to find a hotel as it was getting late. I think we ended up in a Holiday Inn, right at the top floor looking down on the streets of wherever we were. My Mum was immidiately at the window watching the everybody going about their business (remember this was America and people are always shopping/drinking/shagging/stabbing into all hours of the night). My Dad had to tear her away from the window in the end to go to bed. Then i remember waking up in the small hours, to see my Dad getting up, he told me my Mum was back at the window, and there she was sitting there just watching everything go by. I don't know why this sticks with me as i'm not usually one for memories, but it came back tonight.
I was also thinking about my Dad, and feeling guilty that i don't feel like i miss him as much as i should. Obviously i do miss him loads, but maybe i never got to know him properly when he was here. I'd like to think if he were still here we'd be quite close now, but that's thinking with the benefit of hindsight. If true be told i'd probably be no closer to him than i am to my Mum, but i think i'm getting closer to my Mum.
I'd have loved to introduced my Dad to all the other motorsport that i watch now. He was the one who got me and my brother into Formula One (in the end i chose F1, my brother football), and F1 was pretty much the only series we ever watched. It would have been nice to have repaid the favour, as it were, and opened his eyes up to other racing. I'd have loved to have taken him to Indianapolis one day to watch the Indy 500, the biggest race on the planet, or Monaco, to see the Grand Prix, and it's a shame i'll neveer get that opportunity now. But you can't change what's been and gone i suppose. As Gandalf wisely said "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us" and maybe i took him for grante d, but i'm sure he'd be proud of me nontheless.
I actually came out of hiding today also. I'd been ignoring phone calls and texts from people i used to work with, but today i answered everything, explained i'd been a bit down, and there's a few good things in the pipeline, which, before i wasn't looking forward too, but now i'm really excited about.
Quite soon, all being well, i shall be visiting an old friend too, who i haven't seen much of in real life recently, but we go back quite a long way anyway. Again, this, i was apprehensive about before, but now i can't wait to make definite plans, and i'm really looking forward to it.
And so concludes the essay. So much was buzzing round my mind tonight (i think the old brain is benefitting from not being poisioned). I've had a shitty head cold for the last three/four days, but that seems to be clearing now, the sun is out and summer is coming..............
*bursts into song*
Summer is coming
And I hope I feel better by the time it does
Then I could leave my room my cocoon
Find the door and walk out to the sun
Feel like I've moved on
Lessons learnt my mind is feeling calm and so reassured
Yeah things are on the up
I'm on top of the situation I've endured
Took my time to come around
From the day that I was shot down
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, cos I was somebody new
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, know what to do
A Silhouette in the shadows
I drank too much and darkness settled in and drew in me
And oh my bleeding heart did start to repair
And I could clearly see
Open the windows
Serotonin and the vitamins C D and E
Oh let it all sink in to your skin close your eyes
And you can feel the release
Took my time to come around
From the day that I was shot down
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, cos I was somebody new
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, know what to do
Summer is coming
And I hope I feel better by the time it does
Then I could leave my room
and walk out to the sun
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, cos I was somebody new
Oh now I know that
I confused myself with somebody else
I didn't know what to do, know what to do
Tried so many ways to come through for you
Tried to get it right and really improve
And yeah I really wanted to
Took my time to come around
Breathing in and breathing out
Won't you see what I can do
When I leave my room
This shall be my feel good track of the summer. This and Decent Days And Nights which i'm obsessed with at the moment.
Sayonara!
XXX