(no subject)
I fucking depressed pressed pressed and it fucking suck suck sucks. So the kick ass job I totally thought was in the bag was a no go. Mother fucker! Damn you you qualified bitch and your fucking... qualifications! This sis the problem with entry level jobs. You will always get turned down for people who have already done them. Understandable from a business standpoint, but consider MY position. How in the hell am I supposed to really compete when I can't get me size 10's in the door???
Frustration is high especially after I spent all day searching.. no scouring the internet, WWU's page, THe Herald, Career Builder, ANYTHING I COULD THINK OF for moderately interesting part time work. Scratch that- ANY part time work. Poli told me last night of this cool couple who comes into his bar and need someone to clean out apartments at $10 and I could make my own schedule. Fine. I'll do it. I pretty much do that when my grandparents start new garage sales, anyway so no biggie. Plus, I have lived like a pig on an apartment and had to clean it up so I doubt there is anything that would freak or gross me out at this point.
I need work. I need money. I cannot afford (on SO many levels) to have a shitload of free time. I get myself in trouble. It's the way it is. It's as if I have this tractor beam that pulls in scandalous situations and I get a big ol' case of the fuck-its and run head first towards said shitty situations. Not this year, man. Not this fucking year. Without liquor I have been getting my shit DONE! I have been motivated and I would like to say it's paid off but I am sure my luck is catching up to me for the months I jacked around or off, however you choose to think about it drinknig like a sailor in Bangkok and pissing away time and oppurtunities. School is such a priority. If I do not maintain a 3.0 in these classes I have to retake them at roughly $500 each so they will count towards my major. And I doubt my grandma is really that willing to work to put me through school if I keep on messing up. I sure as shit wouldn't. I mean, why bother throwing money into a hole? I have to prove to myself and really, to them... that the investment they call COurtney Wilks will actually succeed of her own free will and effort. Otherwise bye bye oppurtunities and hello Kent.
That sounds so sad but it's true. I would be a made woman. In the hell hole that is that house. But anyway. I digress. And I am tired of typing.
Frustration is high especially after I spent all day searching.. no scouring the internet, WWU's page, THe Herald, Career Builder, ANYTHING I COULD THINK OF for moderately interesting part time work. Scratch that- ANY part time work. Poli told me last night of this cool couple who comes into his bar and need someone to clean out apartments at $10 and I could make my own schedule. Fine. I'll do it. I pretty much do that when my grandparents start new garage sales, anyway so no biggie. Plus, I have lived like a pig on an apartment and had to clean it up so I doubt there is anything that would freak or gross me out at this point.
I need work. I need money. I cannot afford (on SO many levels) to have a shitload of free time. I get myself in trouble. It's the way it is. It's as if I have this tractor beam that pulls in scandalous situations and I get a big ol' case of the fuck-its and run head first towards said shitty situations. Not this year, man. Not this fucking year. Without liquor I have been getting my shit DONE! I have been motivated and I would like to say it's paid off but I am sure my luck is catching up to me for the months I jacked around or off, however you choose to think about it drinknig like a sailor in Bangkok and pissing away time and oppurtunities. School is such a priority. If I do not maintain a 3.0 in these classes I have to retake them at roughly $500 each so they will count towards my major. And I doubt my grandma is really that willing to work to put me through school if I keep on messing up. I sure as shit wouldn't. I mean, why bother throwing money into a hole? I have to prove to myself and really, to them... that the investment they call COurtney Wilks will actually succeed of her own free will and effort. Otherwise bye bye oppurtunities and hello Kent.
That sounds so sad but it's true. I would be a made woman. In the hell hole that is that house. But anyway. I digress. And I am tired of typing.