i look up, you're standin next to me- what a feelin
WARNING: VENT SESSION.
I thought I needed to update again, for some COMPLETELY random reason so here it goes.
my sophomore year has been incredible so far. (cough cough homecoming will NEVER get old). some people have really grown up and i love how we all get along and there is no drama. at the same time some people are so immature and hurtful. and so many people are forgetting about the things that really mattered to them. like i know that grades are not a big deal to some people, but its sad to see some of your best friends just completely fuck up on things that they cared about so much at one point.
on a happier note i have so much to look forward to. monday cheer practice starts again. todays thursday and i wish the weekend would go faster. my mom said to be careful what i wish for but right now i cant wait. wednesday is the powderpuff game. laur and i are going to watch danielle and chelsea play and we're making posters, cause only cool kids do that. 20 days from today is newyork. the meeting was last night and honestly i couldnt be more excited. 20 days need to go faster. the all american rejects and the academy is concert is on december 20th. i'm really really really excited for thatttt. hanukkah and christmas are on the 25th (obviously) so im excited for that too =D and rc starts december 26th. laura also gets her license december 26th which means no more sitting at home or being hungry and not having a ride. i wont even get started about that but lets just say its gonna be the sweetest thing ever. haha i love you booo<3. then of course new year and all that good stuff.
back to the stupid stuff. i feel like i lost trust in so many people. i mean, people do stupid shit all the time and i am a very very very forgiving person. i dont think ive ever held a grudge for more than an hour in my entire life. but when you do something that really gets to me it just sucks. when you do something to make me not trust you i WILL not trust you. but ill be nice to you, we'll be friends and have fun together. i forgive but i dont forget- remember that. and i also feel like theres one person who doesnt trust me. and for that i'm sorry because i don't know what i did. but our relationship is crazy.
i want a boyfriend.
i know ive probably complained a thousand times in my life about it. but yeah, i've "played the field" as horrible as that sounds and have found no one for me. last year i was the type of person who would have been like "yeah lets hook up" and say i wouldnt care. but in all honesty i get attached WAY too easily. and the worst feeling in the world is when you like someone and you want to keep it all to yourself number one to protect yourself from potentially getting hurt and number two because youre wishing for something that wont happen and you KNOW it with all your heart. that hurts like hell.
i want a boy who is not ashamed to introduce me to his friends or his parents or anyone as his girlfriend. who will call me back when i hang up on him. who can take my sarcasm. who will find ME in the hall and kiss me on the forehead. who will respect me and ask me for plans. someone who will put in as much into the relationship as i do, because that will be alot. and i think that maybe it sounds like a lot and that im being picky. but i don't think it is unreasonable.
overall i think im lonely. i dont know how because our group of friends has grown SO much this year, and there's so many people to hang out with. maybe it's my fault for being picky about who i trust and who i want to hang out with. i dont know what it is exactly. i wish people would call me for plans instead of me calling them. or i wish people would not ditch me five seconds before we're supposed to hang out.
right now there are a few people in this world i trust with anything: laura, caroline, alec, mel, evan, whitney and mark. so thank you guys.
"i look up, you're standing next to me- what a feeling
what a feeling in my soul, love burns brighter than sunshine
brighter than sunshine
let the rain fall, i dont care.. i'm yours and certainly you're mine
suddenly you're mine, and it's brighter than sunshine."
I thought I needed to update again, for some COMPLETELY random reason so here it goes.
my sophomore year has been incredible so far. (cough cough homecoming will NEVER get old). some people have really grown up and i love how we all get along and there is no drama. at the same time some people are so immature and hurtful. and so many people are forgetting about the things that really mattered to them. like i know that grades are not a big deal to some people, but its sad to see some of your best friends just completely fuck up on things that they cared about so much at one point.
on a happier note i have so much to look forward to. monday cheer practice starts again. todays thursday and i wish the weekend would go faster. my mom said to be careful what i wish for but right now i cant wait. wednesday is the powderpuff game. laur and i are going to watch danielle and chelsea play and we're making posters, cause only cool kids do that. 20 days from today is newyork. the meeting was last night and honestly i couldnt be more excited. 20 days need to go faster. the all american rejects and the academy is concert is on december 20th. i'm really really really excited for thatttt. hanukkah and christmas are on the 25th (obviously) so im excited for that too =D and rc starts december 26th. laura also gets her license december 26th which means no more sitting at home or being hungry and not having a ride. i wont even get started about that but lets just say its gonna be the sweetest thing ever. haha i love you booo<3. then of course new year and all that good stuff.
back to the stupid stuff. i feel like i lost trust in so many people. i mean, people do stupid shit all the time and i am a very very very forgiving person. i dont think ive ever held a grudge for more than an hour in my entire life. but when you do something that really gets to me it just sucks. when you do something to make me not trust you i WILL not trust you. but ill be nice to you, we'll be friends and have fun together. i forgive but i dont forget- remember that. and i also feel like theres one person who doesnt trust me. and for that i'm sorry because i don't know what i did. but our relationship is crazy.
i want a boyfriend.
i know ive probably complained a thousand times in my life about it. but yeah, i've "played the field" as horrible as that sounds and have found no one for me. last year i was the type of person who would have been like "yeah lets hook up" and say i wouldnt care. but in all honesty i get attached WAY too easily. and the worst feeling in the world is when you like someone and you want to keep it all to yourself number one to protect yourself from potentially getting hurt and number two because youre wishing for something that wont happen and you KNOW it with all your heart. that hurts like hell.
i want a boy who is not ashamed to introduce me to his friends or his parents or anyone as his girlfriend. who will call me back when i hang up on him. who can take my sarcasm. who will find ME in the hall and kiss me on the forehead. who will respect me and ask me for plans. someone who will put in as much into the relationship as i do, because that will be alot. and i think that maybe it sounds like a lot and that im being picky. but i don't think it is unreasonable.
overall i think im lonely. i dont know how because our group of friends has grown SO much this year, and there's so many people to hang out with. maybe it's my fault for being picky about who i trust and who i want to hang out with. i dont know what it is exactly. i wish people would call me for plans instead of me calling them. or i wish people would not ditch me five seconds before we're supposed to hang out.
right now there are a few people in this world i trust with anything: laura, caroline, alec, mel, evan, whitney and mark. so thank you guys.
"i look up, you're standing next to me- what a feeling
what a feeling in my soul, love burns brighter than sunshine
brighter than sunshine
let the rain fall, i dont care.. i'm yours and certainly you're mine
suddenly you're mine, and it's brighter than sunshine."