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So I just got back from seeing New Moon. After the horrendous awfulness of the first movie I was like, yeah I'm pretty much not going to put myself through any more of those. But when I read the series I decided that Jacob was basically the only vaguely tolerable character, and this installment is pretty him-heavy, and also I've been reading loads of Twilight-centric snark lately (read all the recaps linked here for some extreme hilarity) which was causing a lot of morbid curiosity in me, so I decided to go see it with my housemates. And, yeah, it was okay! I mean it was still really silly and bad, but it was definitely a lot less fucking awful than the first movie. And this is for one reason and one reason only: Edward is not there for most of the movie. Which means no constant discussions of how much he and Bella love each other with no explanation as to WHY (although they do shove in plenty of that in the brief portions of the film where he is around), and much less of his wooden murmury "dreeeamy" dialogue (although he does get to recite some Shakespeare in class for literally no bloody reason other than to show us just HOW BLOODY CLEVER HE IS HE CAN RECITE IT EVEN THOUGH HE WASN'T EVEN LISTENING IN CLASS JUST NOW and also OHHH EDWARD IS SO DREEEEAMY), and etc etc etc etc. Of course we get megafucking whiny Bella "ohhh he's gone away oh noooo my entire existence is based around my boyfriend so now I have to spend my days barely eating and not talking to anyone and losing all will to have any friends and my nights having visceral night terrors about him breaking up with me that cause me to scream out loud in my sleep".
So anyway, she goes and starts hanging out with ol' Jakey. And honestly I just don't get why so many people prefer Edward to Jacob. He's like nineteen thousand times more likable, especially in the film. Also, his relationship with Bella actually develops, as in they hang out and become better friends and then of course he's totally into her, as is every single male in the whole universe excluding, just barely, her father, because she's SO WUNDIEFUL AND SPESHAL. But my point is, y'know, you can SEE why they develop an interest in one another and why they're a romantic pairing. With Bella and Edward it's like, hey that guy's really hot, HEY HE SEEMS TO HATE BEING AROUND ME WHAT'S THE DEALIO, hey he has some kind of superpowers and that's way freaky, hey he's a vampire as it happens, HEY I'M "IRREVOCABLY" IN LOVE WITH HIM. And then a bit later HEY HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME TOO THE LION FELL IN LOVE WITH THE LAMB OMGYAY. And that's that. Grargh sorry that's just one of the things I find most infuriating about the Twilight series. What does Edward love so much about Bella, other than the smell of her blood (to those who haven't read the books/seen the movies, I'm not being facetious, he genuinely talks about how her blood is more attractive to him than any he's come across before and how she smells of "freesias" which is fucking weird)? She genuinely doesn't have any personality traits other than "in love with Edward" and "klutzy". And he's basically the same, only replace klutzy with guilt-ridden. So what's the dealio? Seriously, Stephenie Meyer, give me some deets here.
Also, while I appreciate the male body being a source of objectification and the female body getting a bit of a rest, the amount of abs in the movie was pretty fucking ridiculous. I mean the other werewolves literally never wear shirts. NEVER. And also I'm a bit worried about how almost threateningly sexy they made Jacob in some cases considering the actor playing him is seventeen. It was quite disconcerting. I can only take solace in the fact that at least in this country he's over the age of consent and I don't have to worry about ending up on some sort of register for lusting after him a bit.
Anyway, all my other housemates totally get a boner over Edward and I just can't fathom why. He's just such a tool. Not to mention horrifically creepy - he genuinely sneaks into Bella's bedroom every night, which is acceptable once they're together I suppose but in Midnight Sun, the half-a-novel published on Meyer's website that shows the events of Twilight from Edward's POV, we find out that he's been climbing in through her window - he brought along some oil after the first night so he could open it without waking her - and sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of the room while she is ASLEEP AND UNAWARE THAT HE IS THERE. omg so romantic and healthy i hope one day a boy will climb into my bedroom while i'm unconscious and doesn't alert me to his presence, that's the dream!!!!!
Okay, this rant has gone on long enough. To summarise: New Moon is better than it's predecessor but still not in any way a Good Film.
In other news: I got an iPhone! I have joined the ranks of yuppies, middle-class teenagers and celebrities who can get online and broadcast their thoughts wherever they go! I'm basically in love with it, my only gripe is: a combination of a phone and an iPod seems surely the easiest way ever to set your favourite song as your ringtone, and yet THERE IS NO OPTION OF DOING THIS? YOU HAVE TO STICK WITH THE SHITTY RINGTONES SUPPLIED? Get the fuck out.
Right, anyway, Becci out.
So anyway, she goes and starts hanging out with ol' Jakey. And honestly I just don't get why so many people prefer Edward to Jacob. He's like nineteen thousand times more likable, especially in the film. Also, his relationship with Bella actually develops, as in they hang out and become better friends and then of course he's totally into her, as is every single male in the whole universe excluding, just barely, her father, because she's SO WUNDIEFUL AND SPESHAL. But my point is, y'know, you can SEE why they develop an interest in one another and why they're a romantic pairing. With Bella and Edward it's like, hey that guy's really hot, HEY HE SEEMS TO HATE BEING AROUND ME WHAT'S THE DEALIO, hey he has some kind of superpowers and that's way freaky, hey he's a vampire as it happens, HEY I'M "IRREVOCABLY" IN LOVE WITH HIM. And then a bit later HEY HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME TOO THE LION FELL IN LOVE WITH THE LAMB OMGYAY. And that's that. Grargh sorry that's just one of the things I find most infuriating about the Twilight series. What does Edward love so much about Bella, other than the smell of her blood (to those who haven't read the books/seen the movies, I'm not being facetious, he genuinely talks about how her blood is more attractive to him than any he's come across before and how she smells of "freesias" which is fucking weird)? She genuinely doesn't have any personality traits other than "in love with Edward" and "klutzy". And he's basically the same, only replace klutzy with guilt-ridden. So what's the dealio? Seriously, Stephenie Meyer, give me some deets here.
Also, while I appreciate the male body being a source of objectification and the female body getting a bit of a rest, the amount of abs in the movie was pretty fucking ridiculous. I mean the other werewolves literally never wear shirts. NEVER. And also I'm a bit worried about how almost threateningly sexy they made Jacob in some cases considering the actor playing him is seventeen. It was quite disconcerting. I can only take solace in the fact that at least in this country he's over the age of consent and I don't have to worry about ending up on some sort of register for lusting after him a bit.
Anyway, all my other housemates totally get a boner over Edward and I just can't fathom why. He's just such a tool. Not to mention horrifically creepy - he genuinely sneaks into Bella's bedroom every night, which is acceptable once they're together I suppose but in Midnight Sun, the half-a-novel published on Meyer's website that shows the events of Twilight from Edward's POV, we find out that he's been climbing in through her window - he brought along some oil after the first night so he could open it without waking her - and sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of the room while she is ASLEEP AND UNAWARE THAT HE IS THERE. omg so romantic and healthy i hope one day a boy will climb into my bedroom while i'm unconscious and doesn't alert me to his presence, that's the dream!!!!!
Okay, this rant has gone on long enough. To summarise: New Moon is better than it's predecessor but still not in any way a Good Film.
In other news: I got an iPhone! I have joined the ranks of yuppies, middle-class teenagers and celebrities who can get online and broadcast their thoughts wherever they go! I'm basically in love with it, my only gripe is: a combination of a phone and an iPod seems surely the easiest way ever to set your favourite song as your ringtone, and yet THERE IS NO OPTION OF DOING THIS? YOU HAVE TO STICK WITH THE SHITTY RINGTONES SUPPLIED? Get the fuck out.
Right, anyway, Becci out.