The letter I want to write
Today, I was reading friend's blogs and I came across this one, written my one of the people I will forever call "my best friend." She was the one who didn't turn on me when I did some back sliding, and she has stuck by my side since. I refuse to "turn" on her now, even after years of watching her turn her back on God, and then there was this blog . . .
"Yes, I know, my son is all I ever write about. But I guess if you really knew me, you would know that he's all I ever talk about so...here goes...
Every night my son and I talk about his day and sing together right before he goes to bed. Last night, my son began to sing "Jesus loves the little children", and he had to teach ME the words. Do you even understand how incredibly proud of my son I am? Then he sang his favorite..."Jesus loves me".
Ya know, I complain about paying so much money taking my kid to this church daycare, but when I hear him sing like that, it makes being broke all worthwhile!!
I love my son!!!!!"
My first thoughts, the words I don't know how to say, but I don't know how else to put:
Love,
Seriously?!?! I am so confused right now. This is a proud moment? You have completely turned your back on God, you lived with/slept with your husband for years before you got married, and then cheated on him before you were married a whole month. You refuse to go to church with me, EVER. You want NOTHING to do with God, or "guilt" or His standards, but you are going to get excited that your son sung a song that talked about God? Is this just because you see a small hope for keeping your son from the Hell that you are walking into, even though you are doing NOTHING to prevent him from going yourself? Is this some release of guilt for you, that even though you want nothing of the responsibilities for "leading your son up in the way he should go" that maybe it will all just be ok?? I am so broken hearted for you both right now. I want so desperately to show you my thoughts, but I am sure you are stone hearted right now, and the result would be the end of our friendship. I love you so much.
A
The question I have to answer is: am I willing to sacrifice our friendship (and my comfort in it) to pass to you what might be the start to you opening your eyes? My heart wants to say these words are from God, because they are so unlike me, but I refuse to act in the name of God without being sure it is God, and right now I have so many doubts. I am also reminded of the time period that I walked away from God, and so many just threw harsh words at me, and I couldn't hear the heart of them. Is there a nicer way to say it? or are blatant truths the best route sometimes? Lord Jesus, lead me.
"Yes, I know, my son is all I ever write about. But I guess if you really knew me, you would know that he's all I ever talk about so...here goes...
Every night my son and I talk about his day and sing together right before he goes to bed. Last night, my son began to sing "Jesus loves the little children", and he had to teach ME the words. Do you even understand how incredibly proud of my son I am? Then he sang his favorite..."Jesus loves me".
Ya know, I complain about paying so much money taking my kid to this church daycare, but when I hear him sing like that, it makes being broke all worthwhile!!
I love my son!!!!!"
My first thoughts, the words I don't know how to say, but I don't know how else to put:
Love,
Seriously?!?! I am so confused right now. This is a proud moment? You have completely turned your back on God, you lived with/slept with your husband for years before you got married, and then cheated on him before you were married a whole month. You refuse to go to church with me, EVER. You want NOTHING to do with God, or "guilt" or His standards, but you are going to get excited that your son sung a song that talked about God? Is this just because you see a small hope for keeping your son from the Hell that you are walking into, even though you are doing NOTHING to prevent him from going yourself? Is this some release of guilt for you, that even though you want nothing of the responsibilities for "leading your son up in the way he should go" that maybe it will all just be ok?? I am so broken hearted for you both right now. I want so desperately to show you my thoughts, but I am sure you are stone hearted right now, and the result would be the end of our friendship. I love you so much.
A
The question I have to answer is: am I willing to sacrifice our friendship (and my comfort in it) to pass to you what might be the start to you opening your eyes? My heart wants to say these words are from God, because they are so unlike me, but I refuse to act in the name of God without being sure it is God, and right now I have so many doubts. I am also reminded of the time period that I walked away from God, and so many just threw harsh words at me, and I couldn't hear the heart of them. Is there a nicer way to say it? or are blatant truths the best route sometimes? Lord Jesus, lead me.