jeeze could i BE anymore depressed right now?...
ok so yeah my life is sucking pretty bad right now. but ill explain my day...ok well last night went to jackies brothers wedding it was a great time i had fun seeing everyone again, well long story short i drank a lil too much, so we went out to see my little sis(not by blood but shes just like one...) so my brother and i went out there and had some fun talking to her, all in all i got back home about 6am, had to break in bc i didnt have my keys, slept till about 230-3, woke up and hung around the house till about 6ish and erik says he wants to go to the casino, so we r on our way there and we get so fucking lost its not funny and we r out in z.hills so we finally stop for directions(2 hrs after we had origionaly left lol such guys right?) well erik pumped gas and i went in to pay and this guy is outside talking to erik and i pay and shit and leave so this guy wants us to take him to get his stuff he dropped off and since we were already going that way we said we would take him, now this guy has to so fucked up on coke its not even funny so long story short we picked up a hitchhiker freaked us both out, then we make it to the casino like 9 ish and play some texas holdem,, it was so much fun just playing with actually ppl and not online bc you can read them better...and erik and i lost $70.00 each so im so pissed about everything going on in my life i go outside and throw up, and no i sit here thinking im going to maybe move back to ohio and start my fucking pathetic life over the way i had wanted it b4 i moved to fl. sure ive made so of the best friends in my life here but you know what ? i have that there too! things just have not been going good for me down here with all the debt im in now, being sick all the time, broke off my ass its not even funny anymore, is it ok for me to be crying like this while im typing? i dont know and frankly dont fucking care anymore! im fed up with my life and the more and more i try to fix things the more and more they worsen, im sick and tired of being hurt in relationships, by friends, ppl i care about, its like not even worth being alive for anymore.. i cant even take this im so freakin upset now im going to bed, will post more later if i cant sleep or tomorrow---------im out