The day after
My heart hurts today. And there's nothing I can do about it. Like many others, I feel anger, despair, betrayal, and a deep sadness. The outcome of this election did not surpise me, yet I am still in shock. I am in shock about the sheer number of people who would vote for a man who has said and promised so many vile things. A man who, if what he says is to be believed, would take us back 50 years economically and socially; who has given every indication that he is ignorant, petty, immature, emotionally unstable, and, as President Obama said, "uniquely unqualified to be president."
I get why people dislike Hillary Clinton. Truly. I have no great love for her myself, and I did not vote for her in the primary. In many ways she represents politics as usual, crony capitalism, and certainly does not line up with my beliefs 100%. As someone who grew up in the midwest as an evangelical christian, I truly understand why many christians feel they cannot vote for her. I remember quite well how the Clintons were maligned by the conservative christian community (some of it deserved) when Bill was president. What I have had to unpack, during this election cycle, is how much of my distrust and dislike of her was based on vague negative associations from my childhood, and the constant barrage of negativity toward her I have continued to hear and see over the years--all the memes, all the nasty put downs and half truths. I did a lot of reading in an attempt to untangle fact from fiction, read a lot of political analysis and opinion (from many points of view), and came to understand that as trite as it sounds, many people hate her because she is a woman in man's world (politics) who has never acted "womanly" enough--especially for the average white, conservative christian. Why else would the religious right have felt justified calling her a feminazi and a b**** twenty years ago, before she ever ran for any office? Why else the disproportionate hate, compared to the male equivalents who have been in the public eye as long as she has? Why else would every single thing she does be blown out of proportion? Dislike her for her policy, for her associations, for her sources of funding. We can agree or disagree on those things with no problem, in my mind. Vote third party, if you don't like either party's offering, and again, you will hear not a peep from me.
What I cannot make sense of, however, is the excessive hatred fueled by misinformation in the form of memes, faux news, and vicious, half-truth filled youtube videos and websites. I have heard nonstop chatter about the "liberal media,"--how is it that so many think the media is liberal and untrustworthy whenever it says something about Trump, but every damned thing about Hillary must be true?! You can't have it both ways. Why do so many people seem incapable of fact checking, or just plain not care to? Again, I'm in no way saying there was some imperative to vote for her instead--but can we all have the decency to fact check?
The biggest thing I cannot make sense of, though, is how people can have so much fear and hate for Hillary, that they will vote in a man who goes against basic human decency, and the very ideals the United States is supposed to represent. As much as it pains me, I can somewhat understand why uneducated, poor, white voters would vote for him. But how, especially, can evangelical christians have done this? It is grave hypocrisy, and the worst kind of betrayal of christian values, which as far as I recall, a christian is charged with living every day. But somehow those values went out the window on election day, for 81% of evangelicals. Why? To elect a man who kind of, maybe (at least today) promises to make abortion illegal again. As if the political sphere is the only (or even best) way to combat ANY social ill. As if their faith in god does not encompass a country run by a Clinton: I have lost count of the number of people I have seen posting something alongh the lines of how god can work through even godless leaders, referring to Trump--yet the idea of Clinton in the whitehouse induces sheer panic. So god can use a Trump for good, but not a Clinton; glad we settled that, anyway (/sarcasm). But a lot of these ideas are not new to me--I've heard christians talk all my life about picking the lesser of two evils, in order to advance "God's" agenda. It's ironic, and would be humorous if it weren't so sad, how often they have used fear as a motivator to get out the vote, and how often their dire predictions fell flat. (Not to say the "other side" doesn't do the same.) I knew what the pollsters seemingly did not: that there was almost no one the Democrats cound have picked that religious republicans would vote against more strongly than Hillary Clinton. But seriously--why not vote for a third party candidate who at least somewhat represents your beliefs? Instead, they voted for someone who has shown a strong propensity to do only that which benefits himself. Why would that change when he is in office, especially now that his antics and ideas have been validated by the voters??
I know nobody wants to talk about these things, especially now. But today, I needed to vent. I am deeply ashamed of my country right now. Ashamed, and afraid, and neither feeeling is going away any time soon. I am afraid of what will happen to our country in the next four years--not in the realm of law or policy, although it seems quite possible harmful an disastrous things will happen there as well--but in the social sphere. I am afraid that we will become even more divided; it seems that most of us are unwilling to have our ideals challenged in any way, or even our "facts." I am also afraid that the antics and words of the president we have elected will give many people license to do and say ugly things themselves; to display the xenophobia racism, sexism, etc. that has been either consciously or subconsciously in their minds all along. I am afraid that life will become harder for many minorities in this country. And for all those reasons, I am that much more cynical about my country than I was before this election began.
I get why people dislike Hillary Clinton. Truly. I have no great love for her myself, and I did not vote for her in the primary. In many ways she represents politics as usual, crony capitalism, and certainly does not line up with my beliefs 100%. As someone who grew up in the midwest as an evangelical christian, I truly understand why many christians feel they cannot vote for her. I remember quite well how the Clintons were maligned by the conservative christian community (some of it deserved) when Bill was president. What I have had to unpack, during this election cycle, is how much of my distrust and dislike of her was based on vague negative associations from my childhood, and the constant barrage of negativity toward her I have continued to hear and see over the years--all the memes, all the nasty put downs and half truths. I did a lot of reading in an attempt to untangle fact from fiction, read a lot of political analysis and opinion (from many points of view), and came to understand that as trite as it sounds, many people hate her because she is a woman in man's world (politics) who has never acted "womanly" enough--especially for the average white, conservative christian. Why else would the religious right have felt justified calling her a feminazi and a b**** twenty years ago, before she ever ran for any office? Why else the disproportionate hate, compared to the male equivalents who have been in the public eye as long as she has? Why else would every single thing she does be blown out of proportion? Dislike her for her policy, for her associations, for her sources of funding. We can agree or disagree on those things with no problem, in my mind. Vote third party, if you don't like either party's offering, and again, you will hear not a peep from me.
What I cannot make sense of, however, is the excessive hatred fueled by misinformation in the form of memes, faux news, and vicious, half-truth filled youtube videos and websites. I have heard nonstop chatter about the "liberal media,"--how is it that so many think the media is liberal and untrustworthy whenever it says something about Trump, but every damned thing about Hillary must be true?! You can't have it both ways. Why do so many people seem incapable of fact checking, or just plain not care to? Again, I'm in no way saying there was some imperative to vote for her instead--but can we all have the decency to fact check?
The biggest thing I cannot make sense of, though, is how people can have so much fear and hate for Hillary, that they will vote in a man who goes against basic human decency, and the very ideals the United States is supposed to represent. As much as it pains me, I can somewhat understand why uneducated, poor, white voters would vote for him. But how, especially, can evangelical christians have done this? It is grave hypocrisy, and the worst kind of betrayal of christian values, which as far as I recall, a christian is charged with living every day. But somehow those values went out the window on election day, for 81% of evangelicals. Why? To elect a man who kind of, maybe (at least today) promises to make abortion illegal again. As if the political sphere is the only (or even best) way to combat ANY social ill. As if their faith in god does not encompass a country run by a Clinton: I have lost count of the number of people I have seen posting something alongh the lines of how god can work through even godless leaders, referring to Trump--yet the idea of Clinton in the whitehouse induces sheer panic. So god can use a Trump for good, but not a Clinton; glad we settled that, anyway (/sarcasm). But a lot of these ideas are not new to me--I've heard christians talk all my life about picking the lesser of two evils, in order to advance "God's" agenda. It's ironic, and would be humorous if it weren't so sad, how often they have used fear as a motivator to get out the vote, and how often their dire predictions fell flat. (Not to say the "other side" doesn't do the same.) I knew what the pollsters seemingly did not: that there was almost no one the Democrats cound have picked that religious republicans would vote against more strongly than Hillary Clinton. But seriously--why not vote for a third party candidate who at least somewhat represents your beliefs? Instead, they voted for someone who has shown a strong propensity to do only that which benefits himself. Why would that change when he is in office, especially now that his antics and ideas have been validated by the voters??
I know nobody wants to talk about these things, especially now. But today, I needed to vent. I am deeply ashamed of my country right now. Ashamed, and afraid, and neither feeeling is going away any time soon. I am afraid of what will happen to our country in the next four years--not in the realm of law or policy, although it seems quite possible harmful an disastrous things will happen there as well--but in the social sphere. I am afraid that we will become even more divided; it seems that most of us are unwilling to have our ideals challenged in any way, or even our "facts." I am also afraid that the antics and words of the president we have elected will give many people license to do and say ugly things themselves; to display the xenophobia racism, sexism, etc. that has been either consciously or subconsciously in their minds all along. I am afraid that life will become harder for many minorities in this country. And for all those reasons, I am that much more cynical about my country than I was before this election began.