*sigh*
I'm in a Funk
And it's freaking -30 outside, so I can't even go for a walk. :(
Well I could, but for those of you that have never experianced -30 weather before... it's COLD!
Birthday is coming up in 2 days.
24.
*sigh*
I started feeling old when i was 16, every year since has been just a little worse.
So yeah
Funk.
Work is being annoying again. they changed my shift to 8-4 from 9-5, the C-trains suck at that time, and it screws up my whole OCD scheduale i had all worked out.
The weather is just crap.
Too many people are getting bloody engaged, and i'm still single :(
I'm generally just bored. Bored with life.
"Human beings are remarkable creatures, even in a world as vast and wonderous as this, they still managed to invent Boredom."
- Death
I make plans and never seem to get them to work right,
I have dreams, that always seem to fail.
I have desires that no one else cares about.
I wish.
I wish
I wish I may, I wish i might.
But no matter of naval gazing can solve any issue.
I know i want something more from this life.
But I don't feel I am capabale of doing it.
I am afraid.
I don't fear anything...
Heights, Spiders, Dark, public speaking, Death, walking up to girls and talking to them, bugs, taxes, jail, enclosed places, eating things that I don't know where have been,
Fearless.
I am afraid of myself, of who I pretend to be.
Of the image I try and force other people ot see of me, and that the will simply see through it to the wretched thing i see myself as,
I am afraid of being alone. Alone with a person I don't like being alone with.
I'm getting older, but not wiser.
And it's freaking -30 outside, so I can't even go for a walk. :(
Well I could, but for those of you that have never experianced -30 weather before... it's COLD!
Birthday is coming up in 2 days.
24.
*sigh*
I started feeling old when i was 16, every year since has been just a little worse.
So yeah
Funk.
Work is being annoying again. they changed my shift to 8-4 from 9-5, the C-trains suck at that time, and it screws up my whole OCD scheduale i had all worked out.
The weather is just crap.
Too many people are getting bloody engaged, and i'm still single :(
I'm generally just bored. Bored with life.
"Human beings are remarkable creatures, even in a world as vast and wonderous as this, they still managed to invent Boredom."
- Death
I make plans and never seem to get them to work right,
I have dreams, that always seem to fail.
I have desires that no one else cares about.
I wish.
I wish
I wish I may, I wish i might.
But no matter of naval gazing can solve any issue.
I know i want something more from this life.
But I don't feel I am capabale of doing it.
I am afraid.
I don't fear anything...
Heights, Spiders, Dark, public speaking, Death, walking up to girls and talking to them, bugs, taxes, jail, enclosed places, eating things that I don't know where have been,
Fearless.
I am afraid of myself, of who I pretend to be.
Of the image I try and force other people ot see of me, and that the will simply see through it to the wretched thing i see myself as,
I am afraid of being alone. Alone with a person I don't like being alone with.
I'm getting older, but not wiser.