day9
wow so today was a blur. i woke up. got dressed. went to school. slept through chinese. took the theatre test in 10 minutes. slept for an hour. went to glee club and talked to dahsa and caitlin. lunch. was in a complete daze for great civ, then went to the library for 4th period study halll. the best thing about today was how NON overwhelmed i was. i was in complete controll. hell, i even started thinking about my songhay thesis and to top it all off, I DONT HAVE REHERSAL TONIGHT. thats right, i am free from 6-9. free. at home. doing WHATEVER. god, the relief
the only thing not relieving is the rest of my life. for instance the love hexagon. why am i even involved? i had no intention of liking him. none. now im am so obsessed. and its not really creating trauma...yet. i can feel a storm brewing and i dont think friendship is worth it. the only thing is that i still like him. and so do they. and unless we all stop, stopping is pointless. i just wish i had more guidance.
also, i have decided on being an intellectual. i am so brainless. i mean the kids in my math class have made that crystal clear. for instance today, when i was talking win in study hall and i told her i wish i was smart enough to be on math team, she laughed! then she realized that i was serious she wasnt so opposed to it. the only thing that kept me from joining is the fact that i would be hurting those who need help, not improving their skills...
so heres my plan
1. start budgeting my time
2. start taking more pride in being obsessed with algebra (not matricies)
3. read more serious books
maybe theres hope for me somewhere
the only thing not relieving is the rest of my life. for instance the love hexagon. why am i even involved? i had no intention of liking him. none. now im am so obsessed. and its not really creating trauma...yet. i can feel a storm brewing and i dont think friendship is worth it. the only thing is that i still like him. and so do they. and unless we all stop, stopping is pointless. i just wish i had more guidance.
also, i have decided on being an intellectual. i am so brainless. i mean the kids in my math class have made that crystal clear. for instance today, when i was talking win in study hall and i told her i wish i was smart enough to be on math team, she laughed! then she realized that i was serious she wasnt so opposed to it. the only thing that kept me from joining is the fact that i would be hurting those who need help, not improving their skills...
so heres my plan
1. start budgeting my time
2. start taking more pride in being obsessed with algebra (not matricies)
3. read more serious books
maybe theres hope for me somewhere