Novels--reviews--and other such monsters.
If you know me at all, you know I am a harsh critic.
Especially when it comes to things I love and nerd about--take Vampires for example.
If you know me at all, you know that I have refused to watch (which I will recant, eventually, I am sure, just to see another 'vampire' flick) TWILIGHT.
Why?
Because it's not a vampire story. It's the ramblings of a desperate housewife, who wishes some dark prince would take her away, to a fairy land, that essentially is anywhere other than Utah.
It's the first Romance novel that both Mom and Daughter could read, together.
Somewhere, there's a dirtbag who loves the thought of that. Ugh.
K. So my hate of Romance novels goes way back. Like early childhood. They are all that my mom read, practically, when I was a kid. sure they were the off beat ones--Historical Romance (highland hunks rape and pillage, murder the heroine's family, take her away...and a hundred pages in, she's in love with her hot Oh so Buff Captor. Hmmm...right.) or Time Travel Romance (woman doesn't fit in modern world, things are falling apart...she goes on vacation...say to England, perhaps...goes through the proverbial wardrobe, Back In Time...becomes a slave, a servant, or is believed a Witch...and is rescued by Hot Hunky Lord/Highlander/Sea Captain, and lives happily ever after--after adjusting to no penicillin or hot showers.).
Yeah, they are not the worst pieces of tripe, but it's still the same formula that has deluded women (and men, for that matter) forever, into think that Prince Charming is out there.
I have to tell you...
He's not.
Not the way that you are wishing he will be, anyway. Just an FYI.
Now I know what you are thinking--who am I to sneer at Porno for MILFS, right?
Well, if they would only admit that it was cheap masturbation material, I wouldn't sneer.
That's the problem right there--we need to call a spade a spade. These books are the desperate outpouring of sexual frustration for women who are alone and unfulfilled, be they single or married.
Where does TWILIGHT fit into this? Well, as I have previously stated, it's the one teen fuck fict that mom can read as well. more bang for your buck, so to speak. Plus, a teenaged girl will never admit that she is turned on by the same book as her mother. She's just into vampires...right?
I'm familiar with Teen Horror that borders on porn. Thank you, Christopher Pike and LJ Smith (whom Meyer has ripped off beyond belief, imho) for getting me through some cold lonely nights when I was 11 to now, really if I'm going to be honest. Lol.
A dash of sex never hurts.
when it's every few pages, and it's a rape scene that develops into a hard & fast fucking to making love by the end...then you may want to see a therapist about that one. Maybe. It's a twisted fantasy but it's BDSM for Wives in inadequate marriages.
With Teen Fiction, it's only necessary because it helps express the feelings that are so repressed by the teen, their parents, and by society. Expression=communication, either with yourself or others. It helps.
Which is why the Desperate Housewife set that made Fabio a superstar have also made a billion dollar industry of cookie cutter dime novels, detailing explicit sex and Romance.
Which is also why it is interesting to note that in the last ten years, the themes for these novels have radically changed.
You can't find just an ordinary Romance, anymore. They are ALL Horror/Sci-fi books, now. With the popularity of Harry Potter, have we upgraded these subgenres with Romance to the front runners of fiction?
Maybe.
Something I have really found interesting are all the Sookie Stackhouse reviews on GoodReads.com...and they are not entirely good, of course.
Like the TWILIGHT novels, I thought the covers were lame for C.Harris' books. Never picked them up. But, at least I could tell it was a vampire book, not a romance novel (as I have yet to see TWILIGHT stocked in the Teen Fiction section. I always seem to find it next to ROMANCE...huh, if that isn't telling, I don't know what is...).
& I thought the show was rather stupid the first couple of times I watched it. Sookie is annoying as shit. Bill is a pale take on Louis (thank you Anne, for changing the genre completely in 1979). I'm tired of louisiana; can't we go somewhere else for a change?
but...I read a short story of Harris's--one of the Stackhouse quickies, you could say. And, it's grown on me. As has the show. Hello? LaFayette?!?!?! How can you not love this man?
It's funny, it's simple, and that's all it needs to be. Writing doesn't have to be rocket science. I may hate TWILIGHT, but I'm not 14 nor am I a bored domestic homemaker. It's not my genre...and that's ok, mostly. ;-P
If all you read is Steinbeck(who's a hack, by the way, except for his short story collection, THE LONG VALLEY) and Vonnegut, maybe you shouldn't be reading Harris.
Just because something is dusty and old, doesn't make it better. They didn't know how to write better a hundred years ago. No, seriously...we've not degraded as a society. We just have more people who have more access to publishing. This is not a bad thing.
Also...it's ok to write for the people. Even De Sade thought that. *rolls eyes* if the people want bread, give them bread...if the people want sex, drugs, and rocknroll, give it to them.
You don't have to read/eat it, my friend. No one is practicing the Ludovico Technique on you to get you to LOVELOVELOVE shiny (abusive boyfriends) vegan vampires or oversexed former virgins who can read minds.
maybe we should, though, cuz you are taking things far too seriously--which means you take life far too seriously, as well. You need to loosen up and have a good time, my friend.
on that note...bon chance with getting on with your life.
Especially when it comes to things I love and nerd about--take Vampires for example.
If you know me at all, you know that I have refused to watch (which I will recant, eventually, I am sure, just to see another 'vampire' flick) TWILIGHT.
Why?
Because it's not a vampire story. It's the ramblings of a desperate housewife, who wishes some dark prince would take her away, to a fairy land, that essentially is anywhere other than Utah.
It's the first Romance novel that both Mom and Daughter could read, together.
Somewhere, there's a dirtbag who loves the thought of that. Ugh.
K. So my hate of Romance novels goes way back. Like early childhood. They are all that my mom read, practically, when I was a kid. sure they were the off beat ones--Historical Romance (highland hunks rape and pillage, murder the heroine's family, take her away...and a hundred pages in, she's in love with her hot Oh so Buff Captor. Hmmm...right.) or Time Travel Romance (woman doesn't fit in modern world, things are falling apart...she goes on vacation...say to England, perhaps...goes through the proverbial wardrobe, Back In Time...becomes a slave, a servant, or is believed a Witch...and is rescued by Hot Hunky Lord/Highlander/Sea Captain, and lives happily ever after--after adjusting to no penicillin or hot showers.).
Yeah, they are not the worst pieces of tripe, but it's still the same formula that has deluded women (and men, for that matter) forever, into think that Prince Charming is out there.
I have to tell you...
He's not.
Not the way that you are wishing he will be, anyway. Just an FYI.
Now I know what you are thinking--who am I to sneer at Porno for MILFS, right?
Well, if they would only admit that it was cheap masturbation material, I wouldn't sneer.
That's the problem right there--we need to call a spade a spade. These books are the desperate outpouring of sexual frustration for women who are alone and unfulfilled, be they single or married.
Where does TWILIGHT fit into this? Well, as I have previously stated, it's the one teen fuck fict that mom can read as well. more bang for your buck, so to speak. Plus, a teenaged girl will never admit that she is turned on by the same book as her mother. She's just into vampires...right?
I'm familiar with Teen Horror that borders on porn. Thank you, Christopher Pike and LJ Smith (whom Meyer has ripped off beyond belief, imho) for getting me through some cold lonely nights when I was 11 to now, really if I'm going to be honest. Lol.
A dash of sex never hurts.
when it's every few pages, and it's a rape scene that develops into a hard & fast fucking to making love by the end...then you may want to see a therapist about that one. Maybe. It's a twisted fantasy but it's BDSM for Wives in inadequate marriages.
With Teen Fiction, it's only necessary because it helps express the feelings that are so repressed by the teen, their parents, and by society. Expression=communication, either with yourself or others. It helps.
Which is why the Desperate Housewife set that made Fabio a superstar have also made a billion dollar industry of cookie cutter dime novels, detailing explicit sex and Romance.
Which is also why it is interesting to note that in the last ten years, the themes for these novels have radically changed.
You can't find just an ordinary Romance, anymore. They are ALL Horror/Sci-fi books, now. With the popularity of Harry Potter, have we upgraded these subgenres with Romance to the front runners of fiction?
Maybe.
Something I have really found interesting are all the Sookie Stackhouse reviews on GoodReads.com...and they are not entirely good, of course.
Like the TWILIGHT novels, I thought the covers were lame for C.Harris' books. Never picked them up. But, at least I could tell it was a vampire book, not a romance novel (as I have yet to see TWILIGHT stocked in the Teen Fiction section. I always seem to find it next to ROMANCE...huh, if that isn't telling, I don't know what is...).
& I thought the show was rather stupid the first couple of times I watched it. Sookie is annoying as shit. Bill is a pale take on Louis (thank you Anne, for changing the genre completely in 1979). I'm tired of louisiana; can't we go somewhere else for a change?
but...I read a short story of Harris's--one of the Stackhouse quickies, you could say. And, it's grown on me. As has the show. Hello? LaFayette?!?!?! How can you not love this man?
It's funny, it's simple, and that's all it needs to be. Writing doesn't have to be rocket science. I may hate TWILIGHT, but I'm not 14 nor am I a bored domestic homemaker. It's not my genre...and that's ok, mostly. ;-P
If all you read is Steinbeck(who's a hack, by the way, except for his short story collection, THE LONG VALLEY) and Vonnegut, maybe you shouldn't be reading Harris.
Just because something is dusty and old, doesn't make it better. They didn't know how to write better a hundred years ago. No, seriously...we've not degraded as a society. We just have more people who have more access to publishing. This is not a bad thing.
Also...it's ok to write for the people. Even De Sade thought that. *rolls eyes* if the people want bread, give them bread...if the people want sex, drugs, and rocknroll, give it to them.
You don't have to read/eat it, my friend. No one is practicing the Ludovico Technique on you to get you to LOVELOVELOVE shiny (abusive boyfriends) vegan vampires or oversexed former virgins who can read minds.
maybe we should, though, cuz you are taking things far too seriously--which means you take life far too seriously, as well. You need to loosen up and have a good time, my friend.
on that note...bon chance with getting on with your life.