oh, ranges!!
well, monday i rode to landview mills and josh, david and paula all decided they were going to go to the gingerbread shop. i decided to go rent a few movies at "best flix" because their selection is supposed to be so amazing. i was told this by a robot. one of those that honda or some such maker of new hi tech - cutting edge robots makes.
about two weeks ago i was at their facility picking up a few documents i needed for the coleman case and some fucking bastard spilled coffee (very cheap coffee) on my pants. he was promptly fired and i was given a nice amount to cover any damages and i also demanded a tour of their candy production plant. they told me they didnt make candy and were somewhat perplexed but then they took me to... the robot.
we talked about shampoo and sometimes i would touch its face and dream that it was my long dead wife. right before i was about to leave it turned its head around - all the way around - and uttered the one line i am sure to never forget... "check out 'best flix' you worthless piece of shit". after i broke several of my fingers on its metal face i came to understand. maybe the robot was right. its name was curbie and i think it should have been named donna after my wife (now ex wife because shes dead, i have other love interests now but donna was a good person. do you think i killed her?).
so i go into best flix and im looking around. im in shock. these movies arent in english.im infuriated. im listening to big country by big country but i can only read english so even this great song can not calm me. i leave the store in a rage and proceed to walk over to the car and kick it gently until i feel two cold hands on my arm. i turn to see that it is kelly farra from holland. she taught me how to play field hockey even though i was not interested at the time. about 3 years ago i became interested for maybe 8 days but the interest never stuck. i didnt tell her this but i did tell her that her hands were way to fucking cold and dismissed her and told her cold hands are so 1999.
so im peeling an orange waiting on everyone to get back. im pretty upset because i thought i was going to be spending hours in this movie place because that robot was godlike... now its hitting me. maybe the robot really wasnt so wonderful after all. donna didnt know everythign but the robot wasnt just lieke her. she had a twinkle in her eyes but the robot had something more... something more. this is why i trusted it and thought it couldnt possibly decieve me. i could see my reflection in its reflective, deep eye plates. i hear from blackmarketscience.com that there is an actual human being inside the robot at.. honda? where is it? i dont remember the place as i stated earlier. anyway. i hear about this human... this not quite living not quite dead being inside the robot.
saturday morning im hacking at its silver frame with a meat cleaver. the floor is almost red from the blood of michael gearhart, a nice man and the lead designer as well as paul mckinney, the floor guard,(wasnt too fond of him). before i tore out half of micheals neck with a robotic claw i bought from a military used parts auction last year, i was telling him how i think donna is inside this robot and how i think she owed me money but i cant quite remember. oh i remember that is what i was talking to him about but i cant quite remember if she owed me money. its important i find out or at least i tell myself it is.
i dont know if she can hear me in there so i feel i have to get her out of the robot for her to actually be able to answer my questions straight but, you know, they are all telling me i cant do this and so fourth and so on but anyways, it is a long and boring story.
right now i am drinking an ibc cherry limeade and thinking about eating several pounds of lobster. this will probably be the last post i ever make because i hear that matt may be using his journal again to post about the things he does in his real life. i dont know why he would though since its quite boring. i am much more interesting i think but so be it. farewell for now.
about two weeks ago i was at their facility picking up a few documents i needed for the coleman case and some fucking bastard spilled coffee (very cheap coffee) on my pants. he was promptly fired and i was given a nice amount to cover any damages and i also demanded a tour of their candy production plant. they told me they didnt make candy and were somewhat perplexed but then they took me to... the robot.
we talked about shampoo and sometimes i would touch its face and dream that it was my long dead wife. right before i was about to leave it turned its head around - all the way around - and uttered the one line i am sure to never forget... "check out 'best flix' you worthless piece of shit". after i broke several of my fingers on its metal face i came to understand. maybe the robot was right. its name was curbie and i think it should have been named donna after my wife (now ex wife because shes dead, i have other love interests now but donna was a good person. do you think i killed her?).
so i go into best flix and im looking around. im in shock. these movies arent in english.im infuriated. im listening to big country by big country but i can only read english so even this great song can not calm me. i leave the store in a rage and proceed to walk over to the car and kick it gently until i feel two cold hands on my arm. i turn to see that it is kelly farra from holland. she taught me how to play field hockey even though i was not interested at the time. about 3 years ago i became interested for maybe 8 days but the interest never stuck. i didnt tell her this but i did tell her that her hands were way to fucking cold and dismissed her and told her cold hands are so 1999.
so im peeling an orange waiting on everyone to get back. im pretty upset because i thought i was going to be spending hours in this movie place because that robot was godlike... now its hitting me. maybe the robot really wasnt so wonderful after all. donna didnt know everythign but the robot wasnt just lieke her. she had a twinkle in her eyes but the robot had something more... something more. this is why i trusted it and thought it couldnt possibly decieve me. i could see my reflection in its reflective, deep eye plates. i hear from blackmarketscience.com that there is an actual human being inside the robot at.. honda? where is it? i dont remember the place as i stated earlier. anyway. i hear about this human... this not quite living not quite dead being inside the robot.
saturday morning im hacking at its silver frame with a meat cleaver. the floor is almost red from the blood of michael gearhart, a nice man and the lead designer as well as paul mckinney, the floor guard,(wasnt too fond of him). before i tore out half of micheals neck with a robotic claw i bought from a military used parts auction last year, i was telling him how i think donna is inside this robot and how i think she owed me money but i cant quite remember. oh i remember that is what i was talking to him about but i cant quite remember if she owed me money. its important i find out or at least i tell myself it is.
i dont know if she can hear me in there so i feel i have to get her out of the robot for her to actually be able to answer my questions straight but, you know, they are all telling me i cant do this and so fourth and so on but anyways, it is a long and boring story.
right now i am drinking an ibc cherry limeade and thinking about eating several pounds of lobster. this will probably be the last post i ever make because i hear that matt may be using his journal again to post about the things he does in his real life. i dont know why he would though since its quite boring. i am much more interesting i think but so be it. farewell for now.