Sep 05, 2006 20:42
Is there a "modulate" switch for my brain?? I swear to god I can't get anything written because all my monkey brain wants to do is churn out new thoughts, instead of just compiling someone else's thoughts in an orderly fashion and presenting them in a paper. Barbara Deming's writing sets off philosophical fireworks in me. Especially the idea of nonviolent struggle performed in a right way as being a balance of the masculine and the feminine. She wrote of nonviolent struggle: "Have as it were two hands upon [the oppressor] - the one calming him, making him ask questions, as the other makes him move."
$%#@*@)@#( There was actually a time when I envied this creative ability, but now it's feeling burdensome. I should appreciate it any which way, I know, but....I spent FOUR HOURS on ONE of her essays. %@*)(@$*@(^ I exhaust myself, really. Would I just get out of my own way?!
Jesus' proclamation "the meek shall inherit the Earth" often gave me pause. When I was young, I little understood it, since I was paying rapt attention to my culture's dualistic definition of power. But something about the phrase resonated within me as the truth, even if I couldn't give definite shape to that truth.
I started to grok it a while ago. It doesn't mean that YES, you will inherit the Earth, if you are meek. "Oh gee, that's all I have to do! Be meek, it'll all work itself out!" The complete meaning is that violence will lead to self-destruction, and a loss of the Earth....for he that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. (I don't think the wind is such a bad thing, but it's a Christian metaphor, so I'll play along.) If you go with the King James version of the Bible, you'll find this business about "man given dominion over the earth" (and "dominion" is a good business, just ask any king -or capitalist.) It seems that JC was referring to the necessity of humility in this being human, but being just certainly isn't wholly passive. Nonviolent struggle does have the "masculine" principle of "aggression" in it. (I am actually coming to refer to "nonviolent struggle" as "asserting one's humanity.")
Three things: Think up a better word for "nonviolence" (it's a double-negative! an absence of something negative, not a presence of some thing)
Think up better terminology for a "nonviolent army" (all the military stuff has gotta go - I'm afraid the semantics of that are irretrievable)
Think up a new grammar, a way of communicating without the use of 1st, 2nd or 3rd person. I've had an inkling that I would do something weird like that, one day, since I was about 17 years old. It's hard to describe! But it's something other than the "omniscent voice." It was just a peculiar desire, or perhaps I felt that it was somewhere inside, a new form of expression bubbling in the ol' inner cauldron. I didn't suspect I would ever turn out to be a mystic (it's still something to get used to), but now it all makes sense, in hindsight. Paradox can be such a bore....
Okay...break's over.
school,
bright ideas,
nonviolence,
activism