Health? Yes, health.
In September of 2009, the first pick-up game of soccer, I had played for a good two hours in goal. Not doing much, there weren’t THAT many shots on net. But as I switched out with another player and started trotting forward, I felt a twinge in my right groin area. I figured it was a pulled muscle or something, didn’t go back to soccer that year, and moved on with my life.
In November of 2009, I went to a swim meet where I was acting as a timer. This involves a lot of standing (like 4 hours straight - now I know why it’s a form of…enhanced interrogation) and leaning over the pool edge to look down as swimmers hit the wall. This resulted in a very painful right knee. So, I went to an orthopaedic doctor to check out my knee, and while he was there described some of the symptoms of the groin problem. He said “Knee: Stretch, exercise, it’ll be fine. Groin: Not a sports hernia, but MAY be a real hernia. If it starts to hurt, go see [doctor who also happened to be my son's cub scout pack leader].”
In early summer of 2010, I was playing soccer, and full-on dislocated my kneecap. This, as they say, sucked. I was SURE I was going to go into surgery for this. The doctor (a different one than before) said “Wear this knee brace for 6 weeks all the time, and then wear it whenever you exercise.” So I did that. So far so good.
About two weeks ago, I started noticing more significant pain in the groin. So, I finally buckled down and made an appointment with [doctor who also happened to be my son's cub scout pack leader, back when he was a cub scout]. That appointment was today.
He said, in effect, “You do not have a hernia. You have TWO!” That’s right, I’m the ‘proud’ parent of bi-lateral hernias (that’s one on each side of my groin, instead of a double, which is two on one side). The solution: GET THE KNIFE, BOYS, WE’RE GOIN’ IN!
Blech.
Originally posted at Phoenix Rising.