The good, the bad, and the ugly. In no particular order.
The bad: Our house is cursed by water. I’m sitting in my office while the rest of the family is out, and I stand up to go do something irrelevant to the story when I step in a wet spot on the floor mat. I think to myself, “Did the fucking dog piss on my floor mat?” After a brief examination of my sock, which was not yellow, I determine that I shall not be beating the dog. Well, not seeing any obvious drips (no comment here, people), I abandon my search because I have stuff to do. Later, I am sitting at self-same office desk, when I feel a drip on my back. Looking up, I finally discover the source of the drip. A very slow drip coming from the wood paneling above my desk. Well, technically from something BEHIND the wood paneling above my desk. Of course, I can’t observe what’s back there because it’s filled with air duct. And I don’t have time to pull down the paneling because of…
The good: At the urging of a certain bronze molehill, and finally deciding I have had enough of falling asleep at any given moment of the day, I recently went to a doctor and said “I fall asleep during the day.” He said, “Go to this sleep center, and they will watch you sleep, and if we all agree that you need some sort of thingy to help you sleep, we’ll get you that thingy.” Last night, I slept very poorly, but with a bajillion wires glued, taped, strapped and otherwise attached to my person in places various and sundry (a strap around my chest, a strap around my abdomen, wires to each leg (2 per leg), neck, behind the ears, chin, right temple, left upper cheekbone, forehead, and a bunch in my hair). The guy manning the sleep center was very creepy, and at times I thought to myself, “Dude, if he is a serial killer, I am COMPLETELY FUCKED!” As you can tell, not a serial killer. He woke me up at too fucking early in the morning considering how poorly I slept and peeled the wires off (along with some hair where the shit was taped down), and told me
The ugly: I evidently need one of those CPAP machines that push air pressure into your lungs while you sleep so you don’t snore and wake yourself up. Lovely. I have to go BACK to creepydude sleep center in a couple of weeks (unscheduled as of yet) in order to test said machine, which means another night of horrible sleep while strapped into a wire torture mesh with a strange machine sucking face with me.
On the plus side, I may actually get to work at 9AM instead of 11AM from now on.
Originally posted at Phoenix Rising.