(no subject)
So, I'm trying to learn to accept the things I can't change & move on... Clearly, I cannot do everything on my own-- I can't MAKE people I love try, no matter how hard I try/try to make them try. I'll be here waiting until those people are ready... BUT I can't keep putting my all my heart & energy into something someone else is not only not helping w/, but is actually working against me on.
Especially, since I'm learning that there are so many people out there whom I COULD help-- people who need my efforts & welcome them, rather then rejecting them/telling me my efforts aren't good enough/telling me I'm not good enough. I just feel like I've wasted so much time & energy that could've been better spent. Truly, I'm not perfect, no one is-- the best we can do is try our damnest for those we genuinely care for... & know when to just "let it go". I can't make someone love & appreciate me & work w/ me if their goal is purely not to. We'll see...
SO, I've been my own bf/bff the last couple days. Tuesday I went to the mall, bought a dress for Kristi's wedding, and took myself out for a nice salad @ Red Robin (it's in the mall). Today, I started a new book I borrowed from this amazing prof here who's really changed my life (cliche, but whatev)... We'll leave that for another sappy entry... It's called "The Working Poor"-- it makes you think... & tonight I spent a lot of time at the gym. I think I might look for a nice (like, nice-nice) restaurant to take myself out to this weekend-- bc really, if you don't buy booze/appetizers/dessert, it's fairly reasonable to eat. I'm also hoping to hit this thing called the Recovery Cafe-- for those recovering from... well, anything I think. Not because I'm in recovery-- just because a couple other students & I wanted to check it out bc a lot of the beneficiaries at the Salvation Army Adult Rehab Center (I have an elective that involves going there... long story.), so we want to see what it's all about.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble-- I've just seriously realized this past week that I always get SO down & depressed over things/people I can't change, that's it's preventing me from doing the things I really enjoy & care about.
Ok, I'm very excited about seeing some of you soon-- I really do miss my girls.
<3
(PS I'm PMSing which is likely adding to the sappiness-- BUT I'm not drinking bc I've decided not to drink alone for while...)
Especially, since I'm learning that there are so many people out there whom I COULD help-- people who need my efforts & welcome them, rather then rejecting them/telling me my efforts aren't good enough/telling me I'm not good enough. I just feel like I've wasted so much time & energy that could've been better spent. Truly, I'm not perfect, no one is-- the best we can do is try our damnest for those we genuinely care for... & know when to just "let it go". I can't make someone love & appreciate me & work w/ me if their goal is purely not to. We'll see...
SO, I've been my own bf/bff the last couple days. Tuesday I went to the mall, bought a dress for Kristi's wedding, and took myself out for a nice salad @ Red Robin (it's in the mall). Today, I started a new book I borrowed from this amazing prof here who's really changed my life (cliche, but whatev)... We'll leave that for another sappy entry... It's called "The Working Poor"-- it makes you think... & tonight I spent a lot of time at the gym. I think I might look for a nice (like, nice-nice) restaurant to take myself out to this weekend-- bc really, if you don't buy booze/appetizers/dessert, it's fairly reasonable to eat. I'm also hoping to hit this thing called the Recovery Cafe-- for those recovering from... well, anything I think. Not because I'm in recovery-- just because a couple other students & I wanted to check it out bc a lot of the beneficiaries at the Salvation Army Adult Rehab Center (I have an elective that involves going there... long story.), so we want to see what it's all about.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble-- I've just seriously realized this past week that I always get SO down & depressed over things/people I can't change, that's it's preventing me from doing the things I really enjoy & care about.
Ok, I'm very excited about seeing some of you soon-- I really do miss my girls.
<3
(PS I'm PMSing which is likely adding to the sappiness-- BUT I'm not drinking bc I've decided not to drink alone for while...)