(no subject)
ok.. this is suppose to be my journal but i cant really express how i feel so whats the point?
I dont even know wehre to begin. today i lost my best friend, and its forreal too. its not like next week were gonna be completley fine laughing n talking like everythings ok. we got into a big fight over something retarded, and basically the last year was a waste of time building something thats completly broken. i know i'm not perfect, but i never thought i was a bad person. i guess it made me realize alot about myself... as much as i tell other ppl about what happend n they try to make me feel better.. they cant because she convinced me. and once im convinced... its like I have to change.. as a person. even though i did loose a friendship, i believe everything happens for a reason.. so even tho i dont see it right awayy.. it will come to me in time. but its just really scary to think that everything we did together is memories.. and things WILL NOT be the same again.. for her or me.. for her becuase i'm not around to make her be someone shes not.. and for me cuz im gonna for once in my life make an effort and try to become a better person becuase i dont like who i am. and hopefully make things better with the friendships that i have. you fellow livejournal-readers prolly thnink that like my best freind died or something.. but thats kinda what happened i guesss. something died inside of her and me. and were moving on for the better.. this post really helped me now i feel better about it. it was her call.... but i think that it was healthier for me because I learned something about myself. anyways... goodnight
I dont even know wehre to begin. today i lost my best friend, and its forreal too. its not like next week were gonna be completley fine laughing n talking like everythings ok. we got into a big fight over something retarded, and basically the last year was a waste of time building something thats completly broken. i know i'm not perfect, but i never thought i was a bad person. i guess it made me realize alot about myself... as much as i tell other ppl about what happend n they try to make me feel better.. they cant because she convinced me. and once im convinced... its like I have to change.. as a person. even though i did loose a friendship, i believe everything happens for a reason.. so even tho i dont see it right awayy.. it will come to me in time. but its just really scary to think that everything we did together is memories.. and things WILL NOT be the same again.. for her or me.. for her becuase i'm not around to make her be someone shes not.. and for me cuz im gonna for once in my life make an effort and try to become a better person becuase i dont like who i am. and hopefully make things better with the friendships that i have. you fellow livejournal-readers prolly thnink that like my best freind died or something.. but thats kinda what happened i guesss. something died inside of her and me. and were moving on for the better.. this post really helped me now i feel better about it. it was her call.... but i think that it was healthier for me because I learned something about myself. anyways... goodnight