(no subject)
Months that have "R's" are rough. Apparently my seasonal depression is as predictable as a woman's period; my mother said that I started up almost two weeks late this year. The fact that she noticed this bothers me quite a bit. But what can I do? I'm too damn stubborn to go to drug therapy. Drinking's gotten old. I'm burning out at work. Going over to the 'rent's place quite a bit. Right now they're the strongest connection I have, which is odd. Dan's off to L.A., Joe and I see each other maybe twice a month. On top of all that, for the first time in probably a year or so, I actually find someone that I'm interested in dating. Of course, he turns out to be quite the flake. Nice when he's there, but isn't there that often. It was dragging me down too much, so I had to cut it off. He accused me of thinking only of myself, and he was right. I have to think about myself, because if I don't, nobody else will. Some might call it selfish, I call it survival. Besides, who wants to be around someone that doesn't think of themselves. I'm not going to be a pushover. I'm not going to lay down on the tracks for anyone right now. Why would I when nobody else will for me?
It's really unfortunate too. There just aren't that many people out there that I can connect with. Which of course is fustrating. Most of the time I don't even notice it, it's just normal. Of course this is the time of year when I'm most likey to notice these kind of things. Hell, I may not even have so much as thought of this guy if it weren't for the timing.
I keep thinking I need a drink. Hehe. I suppose it's a response that society trains us for. Rough day? Have a drink! It'll all get better.
Or a joint. Pot would make me sleep a lot. Probably not that bad of an idea, actually. I'm sure I'm running overtired and doing nothing to fix it properly.
In all reality, here's what I need: DETOX. The smoking makes me tired. The drinking dehydrates me. The pot....doesn't happen that often anyway. The caffiene takes my body out of whack. There we go, a viable solution.
And somehow, with that, my mind popped to the idea that if events had turned out different, I would be having sex right now. But no, I'm here, typing on my fucking computer. Instead of fucking. How sad.
Here's what else I need: BOTOX. Just kidding.
It's really unfortunate too. There just aren't that many people out there that I can connect with. Which of course is fustrating. Most of the time I don't even notice it, it's just normal. Of course this is the time of year when I'm most likey to notice these kind of things. Hell, I may not even have so much as thought of this guy if it weren't for the timing.
I keep thinking I need a drink. Hehe. I suppose it's a response that society trains us for. Rough day? Have a drink! It'll all get better.
Or a joint. Pot would make me sleep a lot. Probably not that bad of an idea, actually. I'm sure I'm running overtired and doing nothing to fix it properly.
In all reality, here's what I need: DETOX. The smoking makes me tired. The drinking dehydrates me. The pot....doesn't happen that often anyway. The caffiene takes my body out of whack. There we go, a viable solution.
And somehow, with that, my mind popped to the idea that if events had turned out different, I would be having sex right now. But no, I'm here, typing on my fucking computer. Instead of fucking. How sad.
Here's what else I need: BOTOX. Just kidding.