(no subject)
Everyday seemed to be the exact same thing over, and over, it was like being trapped in an infinite loop. I guess that's how most teenagers would describe high school life anyways. I really enjoyed school for the purpose of getting to see my long time crush, Jung Soojung. She was always the popular one around the school, she had so many friends, perfect grades, captain of the ice skating team even! I've always admired her from afar, I've been told she's shy, and around her I'm shy too, so I could never bring myself to approach her. The thing is Soojung, isn't like that anymore. I'd say it's been about a month, in that time she completely changed. She shut the world out. She stopped talking completely, stopped eating with friends, stopped attending ice skating practice, I even heard her grades had dropped significantly. It was as if she no longer existed in this world. Most people stopped minding her existence at all, but even so she still caught my eye.
The one thing that worries me is her expression. She used to be so lively, happy, always laughing, and now...her eyes have no energy in them. It's as though she's sold her soul completely, shes a living person with the eyes of a dead one. Every day I feel her get a bit colder, and I feel the distance between us grow so fast that I'd never be able to catch up to it. No matter what I do I just can't stop thinking about her, and what may have happened to her. I heard her sister got into a car accident, maybe she died. I may never know the truth, but I'm still curious.
The clock is ticking painfully slow. In a few minutes the end of school day will finally be here. Soojung's been staring out the window almost all day, maybe shes day dreaming of happier times. Her expression didn't change once..she must be so unhappy. She's surely lonely isn't she? My mind buzzes with thoughts, and questions, before I know it the bell has already rang for dismissal. I watch her get up, and walk outside of the class room. I feel the great distance between us again. I'm tired of living this way. Today, I'm going to get the answers I want once, and for all.
I exit the class, keeping my sights focused on the object of my affection. She's walking so fast, does she have somewhere to be? I speed up my pace to tag behind her more easily than before, but not to fast. I don't want her to know I'm tagging along. She leaves the school grounds, and goes the opposite way of the rest of the school's population. Her direction is going away from the city into the forest on the outskirts of our town. I get a weird feeling that I should just stop following her now, but my legs continue on their own. I start to think maybe she lives in an apartment complex around this area, but it doesn't seem to be that. She's definitely heading into the forest.
Rumors everywhere say that forest is haunted. I feel fear take over my body, I want to stop, but I just can't. The curiosity is over powering my fear, mixed with adrenaline it's a powerful emotion. Soojung hasn't looked back once, so if she does know that I'm following behind her she must not care. I watch her enter the forest, and I reluctantly follow behind. The feeling from before telling me to leave keeps getting stronger with each passing step. I wrap my arms around myself to build a pathetic barrier around myself. I feel somewhat safer this way, even though if something were to attack it wouldn't protect me much. I shiver a little from the change in the temperature, since this area is so shaded it's a bit colder in the forest than the city.
I see her stop dead in her tracks, and I automatically hide behind a tree. I assume she's caught on to me following her, my body goes into total panic mode. She still didn't turn around at all, she walks forward and vanishes completely. The first thoughts in my mind is: Is this a dream? Is she a ghost? I rub my eyes, and I look back to where she was just standing...she's not there. I decide to walk forward towards the spot, right past to where she disappeared with my eyes sealed shut.
I feel a change in temperature again, and open my eyes to a world that's completely black and white. The air feels like a warm spring day, the path before me is a dirt path with a field of sunflowers adjacent to it. It's completely breath taking, and beautiful, but it's colorless. It feels warm, but empty. It's that feeling of getting a new home, but the loneliness of having nobody to share it with. I spot Soojung with an older looking girl, they look alike...her sister maybe? Soojung is smiling again, giggling, I haven't seen her with that kind of expression in so long. I'm just standing here watching from a far like I always do, but I feel happy. I don't know why I do.
For the first time she looks over at me, she stares at me dead in the eyes. My heart skips a beat. My heart starts to pound against it's ribcage when I see her walking towards me. I feel scared, I want to run, but something is stopping me. I feel like I should stay, and see what she has to say. She stops in front of me, and gives me a serious look. I don't think she's happy anymore.
“How'd you get here!?” Her voice is as cold as ice, just like I'd imagined it time, and time again.
“I followed you...” My voice is quiet, sheepish even. I must sound like a fool.
“Why!? Why would you do that?” She sounds so angry.
“I'm worried about you! I noticed at school you became completely different! You won't tell any one what's wrong, so I wanted to find out for myself. I'm sorry...”
“When I'm here I'm happy so don't worry about me.”
“What is this place?”
“A world where you can have anything you want. A place where you can be truly happy with no worries. Nothing comes free, you have to pay the price if you want to stay here of course.”
That's when it all clicked in my head. She must of exchanged something in order to access this world, and that's why she had changed so much in a short time. More questions were buzzing around in my head, and I looked at her straight in the eyes.
“Soojung, what did you trade in order to stay here?” She smirked at me, and said nothing. I think I knew what it was, but I didn't want it to be that.
“It's obvious, enough isn't it?” I looked into her eyes, and already knew the answer. I was taken back by her doing such a thing.
“Why...why would you do that?”
“Why not? I have what I want here..I don't care about the real world anymore.”
“Don't be like that..come back with me! We can be friends, and I'll try my hardest to make you happy. Don't do this Soojung!”
“You better leave. You won't be able to stay here much longer, unless you give up something too. I plan to stay here permanently. I'm not going back. If you want us to be friends...you'll stay here with me. If not then just leave now.”
I didn't know how to react at all. Why did I have to make such a big life changing decision like this so fast? I could stay here with her forever, and be happy in her colorless world. My other option is living my boring high school life..I truthfully knew what I wanted as soon as she asked.
“So what's it going to be Choi Sulli?”
[ Yes ]
“I'm going to stay here with you...” She was a bit taken back by this, but she looked a bit happy too.
“Why would you...?”
“You're in this world all alone! You have nobody here with you but your sister..who might just be an illusion. Who says she'll stay forever? I'm a real person..I'll always be by your side. I promise I'll never leave you.” She smiled a big genuine smile, and held on to my hand. I was so happy, so happy. It was a weird thought that I'd spend the rest of eternity in a colorless world, but with her with me it was more than enough.
“What are you going to give up?” Her fingers interlaced with mine, and she stared at me curiously liked I'd always done to her.
“The same as you..my existence in the real world. That way nobody will ever notice we were there, or that we left. We can be happy here forever with no worries.”
“I like the way you think.” She leaned upwards, and kissed my cheek. This world had no color, but I still felt heat rise into my cheeks. She giggled at my reaction, I guess even in a world like this, there is still color.
[No]
“I can't stay here with you...I can't just forget about my family, and everyone else to stay here with you..as much as I want to..it seems so selfish.”
“Then just leave..” She pushed me roughly, and I fell backwards, back into a world full of vibrant bright colors. I stood back up, and tried running back to that world, but I couldn't. I knew from that moment I'd never see Jung Soojung ever again. My heart ached, was it really the right decision? I sighed in despair, and headed back home to my loving family. The next day at school she wasn't there. I asked all of her old friends if they knew why she hadn't showed up. Her friends had no idea who 'Jung Soojung' even was. She really wasn't kidding...she completely erased herself from this world. Why could only I remember her? The months of the remaining days of the school year flew by, still she remained absent. Every day I visited the forest hoping to go back to that world once more, but I never could go back again. I told myself to always live without regrets, but I can't help but regret this decision so much. I still love her even today. I ask myself sometimes if she was just a dream, or a person that I had imagined. She was definitely real wasn't she? I might not ever know, but I won't stop thinking about her...
The one thing that worries me is her expression. She used to be so lively, happy, always laughing, and now...her eyes have no energy in them. It's as though she's sold her soul completely, shes a living person with the eyes of a dead one. Every day I feel her get a bit colder, and I feel the distance between us grow so fast that I'd never be able to catch up to it. No matter what I do I just can't stop thinking about her, and what may have happened to her. I heard her sister got into a car accident, maybe she died. I may never know the truth, but I'm still curious.
The clock is ticking painfully slow. In a few minutes the end of school day will finally be here. Soojung's been staring out the window almost all day, maybe shes day dreaming of happier times. Her expression didn't change once..she must be so unhappy. She's surely lonely isn't she? My mind buzzes with thoughts, and questions, before I know it the bell has already rang for dismissal. I watch her get up, and walk outside of the class room. I feel the great distance between us again. I'm tired of living this way. Today, I'm going to get the answers I want once, and for all.
I exit the class, keeping my sights focused on the object of my affection. She's walking so fast, does she have somewhere to be? I speed up my pace to tag behind her more easily than before, but not to fast. I don't want her to know I'm tagging along. She leaves the school grounds, and goes the opposite way of the rest of the school's population. Her direction is going away from the city into the forest on the outskirts of our town. I get a weird feeling that I should just stop following her now, but my legs continue on their own. I start to think maybe she lives in an apartment complex around this area, but it doesn't seem to be that. She's definitely heading into the forest.
Rumors everywhere say that forest is haunted. I feel fear take over my body, I want to stop, but I just can't. The curiosity is over powering my fear, mixed with adrenaline it's a powerful emotion. Soojung hasn't looked back once, so if she does know that I'm following behind her she must not care. I watch her enter the forest, and I reluctantly follow behind. The feeling from before telling me to leave keeps getting stronger with each passing step. I wrap my arms around myself to build a pathetic barrier around myself. I feel somewhat safer this way, even though if something were to attack it wouldn't protect me much. I shiver a little from the change in the temperature, since this area is so shaded it's a bit colder in the forest than the city.
I see her stop dead in her tracks, and I automatically hide behind a tree. I assume she's caught on to me following her, my body goes into total panic mode. She still didn't turn around at all, she walks forward and vanishes completely. The first thoughts in my mind is: Is this a dream? Is she a ghost? I rub my eyes, and I look back to where she was just standing...she's not there. I decide to walk forward towards the spot, right past to where she disappeared with my eyes sealed shut.
I feel a change in temperature again, and open my eyes to a world that's completely black and white. The air feels like a warm spring day, the path before me is a dirt path with a field of sunflowers adjacent to it. It's completely breath taking, and beautiful, but it's colorless. It feels warm, but empty. It's that feeling of getting a new home, but the loneliness of having nobody to share it with. I spot Soojung with an older looking girl, they look alike...her sister maybe? Soojung is smiling again, giggling, I haven't seen her with that kind of expression in so long. I'm just standing here watching from a far like I always do, but I feel happy. I don't know why I do.
For the first time she looks over at me, she stares at me dead in the eyes. My heart skips a beat. My heart starts to pound against it's ribcage when I see her walking towards me. I feel scared, I want to run, but something is stopping me. I feel like I should stay, and see what she has to say. She stops in front of me, and gives me a serious look. I don't think she's happy anymore.
“How'd you get here!?” Her voice is as cold as ice, just like I'd imagined it time, and time again.
“I followed you...” My voice is quiet, sheepish even. I must sound like a fool.
“Why!? Why would you do that?” She sounds so angry.
“I'm worried about you! I noticed at school you became completely different! You won't tell any one what's wrong, so I wanted to find out for myself. I'm sorry...”
“When I'm here I'm happy so don't worry about me.”
“What is this place?”
“A world where you can have anything you want. A place where you can be truly happy with no worries. Nothing comes free, you have to pay the price if you want to stay here of course.”
That's when it all clicked in my head. She must of exchanged something in order to access this world, and that's why she had changed so much in a short time. More questions were buzzing around in my head, and I looked at her straight in the eyes.
“Soojung, what did you trade in order to stay here?” She smirked at me, and said nothing. I think I knew what it was, but I didn't want it to be that.
“It's obvious, enough isn't it?” I looked into her eyes, and already knew the answer. I was taken back by her doing such a thing.
“Why...why would you do that?”
“Why not? I have what I want here..I don't care about the real world anymore.”
“Don't be like that..come back with me! We can be friends, and I'll try my hardest to make you happy. Don't do this Soojung!”
“You better leave. You won't be able to stay here much longer, unless you give up something too. I plan to stay here permanently. I'm not going back. If you want us to be friends...you'll stay here with me. If not then just leave now.”
I didn't know how to react at all. Why did I have to make such a big life changing decision like this so fast? I could stay here with her forever, and be happy in her colorless world. My other option is living my boring high school life..I truthfully knew what I wanted as soon as she asked.
“So what's it going to be Choi Sulli?”
[ Yes ]
“I'm going to stay here with you...” She was a bit taken back by this, but she looked a bit happy too.
“Why would you...?”
“You're in this world all alone! You have nobody here with you but your sister..who might just be an illusion. Who says she'll stay forever? I'm a real person..I'll always be by your side. I promise I'll never leave you.” She smiled a big genuine smile, and held on to my hand. I was so happy, so happy. It was a weird thought that I'd spend the rest of eternity in a colorless world, but with her with me it was more than enough.
“What are you going to give up?” Her fingers interlaced with mine, and she stared at me curiously liked I'd always done to her.
“The same as you..my existence in the real world. That way nobody will ever notice we were there, or that we left. We can be happy here forever with no worries.”
“I like the way you think.” She leaned upwards, and kissed my cheek. This world had no color, but I still felt heat rise into my cheeks. She giggled at my reaction, I guess even in a world like this, there is still color.
[No]
“I can't stay here with you...I can't just forget about my family, and everyone else to stay here with you..as much as I want to..it seems so selfish.”
“Then just leave..” She pushed me roughly, and I fell backwards, back into a world full of vibrant bright colors. I stood back up, and tried running back to that world, but I couldn't. I knew from that moment I'd never see Jung Soojung ever again. My heart ached, was it really the right decision? I sighed in despair, and headed back home to my loving family. The next day at school she wasn't there. I asked all of her old friends if they knew why she hadn't showed up. Her friends had no idea who 'Jung Soojung' even was. She really wasn't kidding...she completely erased herself from this world. Why could only I remember her? The months of the remaining days of the school year flew by, still she remained absent. Every day I visited the forest hoping to go back to that world once more, but I never could go back again. I told myself to always live without regrets, but I can't help but regret this decision so much. I still love her even today. I ask myself sometimes if she was just a dream, or a person that I had imagined. She was definitely real wasn't she? I might not ever know, but I won't stop thinking about her...