Silence of the Lambs 7
Title: Mocking Bird
Summary: Hotch!Serial killer. Reid goes to interview him in prison.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mature content
"WHAT did you DO?"
Reid cringed when Hotchner yelled yet again, as did everybody else in the room. The guards shifted around nervously, highly alarmed by their dangerous prisoners outburst.
Merely Gideon remained relatively collected, standing straight as he moved to shield his younger colleague.
"What did I do?" he frowned, glaring back at Hotchner before shaking his head, "This is your doing! This was a mistake, I should have known. Reid, are you okay? Answer me."
He grabbed the younger agent, all but shaking him in his worry. Reid stared between his boss and the prisoner, eyes flickering, face still pale as a sheet. "Flashback…" he managed to gasp out, "I…oh God, all that blood….please I can't-"
Gideon nodded gravely, "Come on, I'll get you out of here."
He pulled him up and towards the guards and the exit. One of the guards reached out to lead Reid out of the room. The young agent left after casting one haunted look over his shoulder.
Hotchner stared after him for a long moment, seemingly torn between rage, pain and confusion. When Reid was out of sight he turned to Gideon who was about to follow him out.
"Flashback?" he repeated.
Gideon stopped in mid-step, turning back to glare darkly at his former colleague, "What did you think this was? A performance we put on just for you? You will find this hard to believe but I don't spend my days and nights figuring out ways to spite you, Aaron."
He made to walk on but Hotchner called after him, "Wait! Damn it Jason, stop. What's wrong with him?"
"What do you think is wrong with him? He watched Foyet murder two people he knew, then almost died himself and finally had to watch you beat someone to death with your bare hands. That's bound to leave an impression."
"No…he wouldn't. he knew I had to…he understood…he wouldn't be afraid of me! You did something to turn him against me!" A flash of something that could only be interpreted as hatred crossed his features.
Gideon was quiet for a long moment, like he was contemplating something, then, almost strained, he nodded.
"You're right," he bit out, "It's amnesia, Hotch. I'm sure Reid would have gotten around to mentioning it if…He was in a coma for almost two years."
He paused but Hotch just stared at him unblinkingly. He already knew that part. The part about the amnesia was new to him. "When he woke up he couldn't remember anything related to the attack. Not Foyet, not Haley, or Jack, not you."
"And you didn't tell him?"
"What was I supposed to tell him, Hotch? Look at him! What is there to know that he isn't better off having forgotten?"
"That's not for you to decide!"
"It doesn't matter. Clearly this interview was a fundamentally bad idea for everybody involved. He won't be coming back here and if there's any of the man you sued to be left in you, you won't try to contact him. It may be too late for you, but he can still recover from this."
With that Gideon turned to leave, only to run straight into Reid in the doorway. Surprised, he caught the young man's arm as he attempted to go back into the corridor.
"Reid, what-?"
"I'm sorry," the young man was still pale as hell but he seemed to have calmed down from his attack, "I'm fine. I can do the interview I swear."
"No-" Gideon started but Reid had already pushed past him and moved back to stand across from Hotchner's cell who was staring at him with an unreadable expression.
xxx
Reid shivered as he faced Aaron Hotchner for the second time that day, still unable to stop his reaction from showing, or to get the pressure on his chest to let up. It didn't help when Hotchner stopped glaring daggers at Gideon to turn his attention back to him again.
His former boss watched him fidget, definitely aware of the confusion written all over Reid´s face by now. Then, for some reason the anger he was radiating started to fade and a beginning sense of realization brightened his eyes in understanding.
"You forgot," he said, and it didn't sound like a question, "Everything."
Reid's silence was answer enough.
Hotchner drew in a shuddering breath, hands clenching around the bars so tightly his knuckles turned white. For some reason he suddenly looked devastated, unadulterated pain flashing across his features as he shook his head in disbelief.
Reid bit his lip, suddenly feeling queasy at the sudden change in behavior he was witnessing. It seemed like he had actually wanted Reid to come see him, like him not remembering was painful to him for some reason.
Why would that be?
He resisted the urge to look to Gideon for an explanation. Instead he quickly cleared his throat.
"I-everything connected to that night is buried for now," he explained hesitantly, "The doctors don't know when or if it will resurface. Gideon filled me in on what happened though. I- I am very sorry about what happened to your family."
He flinched once more, heart skipping a beat when Hotchner's expression suddenly shifted at his last words, his face crunching up and his eyes turning hard, cold.
"How can you be? You don't even remember them…us. The only reason you're here is about the new case."
He said the last part almost as if to himself, eyes growing distant as he digested the information.
Reid shuddered at the intensity of the man's emotions, feeling his stomach twist in unease and something akin to guilt.
He really did not remember them. He shouldn't have used their memory to try and form a connection to Hotchner. It had just come naturally but clearly backfired -if there ever had been a window of opportunity for him, it was clearly closed now.
"I want you to get out, both of you," Hotchner suddenly growled from behind clenched teeth, speaking to both of them but only looking at Gideon now, almost as if he was refusing to look at Reid again, "Don't come back."
Reid flinched at his tone, feeling his stomach knot up once more. He hadn't felt this miserable even this morning.
This had all been for nothing. Clearly, Gideon had been banking on a certain kind of reaction to his appearance but that had definitely backfired. If anything he'd made everything worse by getting involved.
But then, what had he hoped? That there was some sort of connection because of their shared past that would make Hotchner open up to him? He should have known that being reminded of his wife and son would only make him aggressive or withdrawn.
Maybe if Reid had played into it more, been more authentic…but he hadn't been prepared for that. Now that slim chance was clearly gone seeing Hotchner's anger.
Gideon didn't say anything more. Apparently, even he was seeing how pointless this was now. He merely held Hotchner's gaze for a few more seconds, both of their stares intense, before turning away, gesturing for Reid to follow.
xxx
How little remains of the man I once was, save the memory of him!
But remembering is only a new form of suffering.
-Charles Baudelaire
Summary: Hotch!Serial killer. Reid goes to interview him in prison.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mature content
"WHAT did you DO?"
Reid cringed when Hotchner yelled yet again, as did everybody else in the room. The guards shifted around nervously, highly alarmed by their dangerous prisoners outburst.
Merely Gideon remained relatively collected, standing straight as he moved to shield his younger colleague.
"What did I do?" he frowned, glaring back at Hotchner before shaking his head, "This is your doing! This was a mistake, I should have known. Reid, are you okay? Answer me."
He grabbed the younger agent, all but shaking him in his worry. Reid stared between his boss and the prisoner, eyes flickering, face still pale as a sheet. "Flashback…" he managed to gasp out, "I…oh God, all that blood….please I can't-"
Gideon nodded gravely, "Come on, I'll get you out of here."
He pulled him up and towards the guards and the exit. One of the guards reached out to lead Reid out of the room. The young agent left after casting one haunted look over his shoulder.
Hotchner stared after him for a long moment, seemingly torn between rage, pain and confusion. When Reid was out of sight he turned to Gideon who was about to follow him out.
"Flashback?" he repeated.
Gideon stopped in mid-step, turning back to glare darkly at his former colleague, "What did you think this was? A performance we put on just for you? You will find this hard to believe but I don't spend my days and nights figuring out ways to spite you, Aaron."
He made to walk on but Hotchner called after him, "Wait! Damn it Jason, stop. What's wrong with him?"
"What do you think is wrong with him? He watched Foyet murder two people he knew, then almost died himself and finally had to watch you beat someone to death with your bare hands. That's bound to leave an impression."
"No…he wouldn't. he knew I had to…he understood…he wouldn't be afraid of me! You did something to turn him against me!" A flash of something that could only be interpreted as hatred crossed his features.
Gideon was quiet for a long moment, like he was contemplating something, then, almost strained, he nodded.
"You're right," he bit out, "It's amnesia, Hotch. I'm sure Reid would have gotten around to mentioning it if…He was in a coma for almost two years."
He paused but Hotch just stared at him unblinkingly. He already knew that part. The part about the amnesia was new to him. "When he woke up he couldn't remember anything related to the attack. Not Foyet, not Haley, or Jack, not you."
"And you didn't tell him?"
"What was I supposed to tell him, Hotch? Look at him! What is there to know that he isn't better off having forgotten?"
"That's not for you to decide!"
"It doesn't matter. Clearly this interview was a fundamentally bad idea for everybody involved. He won't be coming back here and if there's any of the man you sued to be left in you, you won't try to contact him. It may be too late for you, but he can still recover from this."
With that Gideon turned to leave, only to run straight into Reid in the doorway. Surprised, he caught the young man's arm as he attempted to go back into the corridor.
"Reid, what-?"
"I'm sorry," the young man was still pale as hell but he seemed to have calmed down from his attack, "I'm fine. I can do the interview I swear."
"No-" Gideon started but Reid had already pushed past him and moved back to stand across from Hotchner's cell who was staring at him with an unreadable expression.
xxx
Reid shivered as he faced Aaron Hotchner for the second time that day, still unable to stop his reaction from showing, or to get the pressure on his chest to let up. It didn't help when Hotchner stopped glaring daggers at Gideon to turn his attention back to him again.
His former boss watched him fidget, definitely aware of the confusion written all over Reid´s face by now. Then, for some reason the anger he was radiating started to fade and a beginning sense of realization brightened his eyes in understanding.
"You forgot," he said, and it didn't sound like a question, "Everything."
Reid's silence was answer enough.
Hotchner drew in a shuddering breath, hands clenching around the bars so tightly his knuckles turned white. For some reason he suddenly looked devastated, unadulterated pain flashing across his features as he shook his head in disbelief.
Reid bit his lip, suddenly feeling queasy at the sudden change in behavior he was witnessing. It seemed like he had actually wanted Reid to come see him, like him not remembering was painful to him for some reason.
Why would that be?
He resisted the urge to look to Gideon for an explanation. Instead he quickly cleared his throat.
"I-everything connected to that night is buried for now," he explained hesitantly, "The doctors don't know when or if it will resurface. Gideon filled me in on what happened though. I- I am very sorry about what happened to your family."
He flinched once more, heart skipping a beat when Hotchner's expression suddenly shifted at his last words, his face crunching up and his eyes turning hard, cold.
"How can you be? You don't even remember them…us. The only reason you're here is about the new case."
He said the last part almost as if to himself, eyes growing distant as he digested the information.
Reid shuddered at the intensity of the man's emotions, feeling his stomach twist in unease and something akin to guilt.
He really did not remember them. He shouldn't have used their memory to try and form a connection to Hotchner. It had just come naturally but clearly backfired -if there ever had been a window of opportunity for him, it was clearly closed now.
"I want you to get out, both of you," Hotchner suddenly growled from behind clenched teeth, speaking to both of them but only looking at Gideon now, almost as if he was refusing to look at Reid again, "Don't come back."
Reid flinched at his tone, feeling his stomach knot up once more. He hadn't felt this miserable even this morning.
This had all been for nothing. Clearly, Gideon had been banking on a certain kind of reaction to his appearance but that had definitely backfired. If anything he'd made everything worse by getting involved.
But then, what had he hoped? That there was some sort of connection because of their shared past that would make Hotchner open up to him? He should have known that being reminded of his wife and son would only make him aggressive or withdrawn.
Maybe if Reid had played into it more, been more authentic…but he hadn't been prepared for that. Now that slim chance was clearly gone seeing Hotchner's anger.
Gideon didn't say anything more. Apparently, even he was seeing how pointless this was now. He merely held Hotchner's gaze for a few more seconds, both of their stares intense, before turning away, gesturing for Reid to follow.
xxx
How little remains of the man I once was, save the memory of him!
But remembering is only a new form of suffering.
-Charles Baudelaire