and you shoulda been gone
i don't know how she would feel if she knew i was writing a relatively personal paper about her (and me I suppose) and handing it to a teacher. probably betrayed or angry or irrationally self-conscious.
but i think it's past the point where i care. because sometimes i don't think she cares anymore.
Tonight feels like one of those nights when I want to put a song on repeat forever and then fall asleep with it blasting in my head but only after the sun has come up in the early stretches of day, after seeing Venus shine like the star of Bethlehem from my window and pathetic Saturn fall behind.
And nobody seems to know or even remotely care, which makes it the worse when it happens far away somewhere where no one knows you or who you are basically and its empty and lonely here in a world of comfort from people who don't understand the same grief.
I feel guilty for forgetting about how she's gone sometimes but I guess that's life: eventually, some faster than others, we move on from anything.
but i think it's past the point where i care. because sometimes i don't think she cares anymore.
Tonight feels like one of those nights when I want to put a song on repeat forever and then fall asleep with it blasting in my head but only after the sun has come up in the early stretches of day, after seeing Venus shine like the star of Bethlehem from my window and pathetic Saturn fall behind.
And nobody seems to know or even remotely care, which makes it the worse when it happens far away somewhere where no one knows you or who you are basically and its empty and lonely here in a world of comfort from people who don't understand the same grief.
I feel guilty for forgetting about how she's gone sometimes but I guess that's life: eventually, some faster than others, we move on from anything.