I am so upset

[clydeclyde]

We all knew that Ryan is a bit strange, but now I know for sure that he really has a problem! Ryan is doing "things" that are not normal behavior for anyone, of any age and I don't know why. Don't get me wrong, he's not perverted, gay or other wise afflicted in a sexually defunct manner. But he has shown me a pattern of behavior, along the lines

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Yeah, I know I said I wouldn't say anymore...

[clydeclyde]

Nicc, you need to understand something...this is not JUST because of the comforter. The comforter is the "tip of the iceberg" of a mountain of the same type of behavior that began sometime over this past summer. Ryan knows what I'm talking about but I'm sure that he is only telling you his side of it and a very minimal side at that! This deal with the comforter is part of a pattern that has popped up in his personality that I have fought to prevent since he was a little baby. I've always stressed and taught him to tell the truth and that no one will trust a liar. But here he is, now despite my teachings, over the years he has become a Liar! He lies even when the truth is much simpler. I hate liars and always have. Liars hurt people. Liars have no conscience, no regard for other people - just themselves and what is easy for them. They take the lazy, easy path in life and have no thought of who they hurt along the way. I believe, and am even afraid to voice this, but I fear that Ryan is a narcissist. The worst of all "liars" because they do not see their behavior as being wrong.

Liars have hurt me tremendously in my life and now my son is one of them. He is acting just like my "ex"-brother, Edward. I don't know how or why this is what Ryan turned into, but it breaks my heart and I don't know what to do about it. This is not something that I can just forget about and forgive him. This is now a huge part of who he is and for him to change that side of him would take a miracle -- or years of counseling.

Yes, he may be a good friend to you and come off like you say, "a good guy" but that is the surface. Deep down inside of him everything is just all about himself. He is first. His needs and wants are at the top of his list. He has never sacrificed anything of himself for someone else. Never! Oh, sure he has done good deeds here and there, but not if they put him out. He does them only if his life in not imposed upon.

I don't know if this is my fault as his mother...but I feel that it is!!! I made his life too easy, too comfortable. I was always there to clean up after him, literally and with his life as a whole. So, I am the one who is the failure and that's what frightens me so much, because I do not know how to fix it now...it's too late in his life to change this. He has to change it - but he does not even SEE a problem...so he doesn't see anything to change.

I'm sorry Nicc. I hope he hasn't hurt you with his indifference and lies and I pray he never does. You are too good of a person for him to fuck around with your friendship.

Love,
Mom 2