(no subject)
so i love it how you can have such an awesome first week of summer and then Kaboom it can just blow up. we aren't even together and i feel like he's going to go and break my heart all over again. and it's just not fair because i was sick i still am i had a fever and i didn't talk to anyone but he has to take it personally. he is just so into himself he can't figure out that i didn't mean any harm. i didn't feel well he was being obnoxious and yet i still showed up even though i didn't want to because it meant a lot to him. and i wanted to see him. even if it meant sitting through a movie i had no intention of wanting to see, and going with people whom i haven't really hung with and been the closest with in such a long time.
to top it all off my best friend and i haven't hung at all yet and i really need someone to talk to about all this crap that is going on. and i can't think of a single person that won't tell him. or tell me not to care because they don't like him. what is going to happen? i have no idea this was supposed to be the best summer going into Junior year and the first week is turning out bad. i mean ok what if he cuts me off, it's not like we were going out...but we had been dating on and off for about two years. and he's been my first boyfriend. i guess i could get through it i got through a lot sophmore year. tommorow is the 4th of july...please let me feel better and sort everything out before i have to see everyone.