who mistook the steak for chicken? who am I gonna stick my dick in?
That subject line was completely uncalled for, which is how I feel I am as well. I am completely uncalled for. There are gonna be some pissed off bitches at the waffle house tonight when they realize that I didn't show up and I'm not coming in. Wow. I need to look for another job very soon cause this shit really isn't working out. Anyone who's
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First, I want to sincerely apologize for all the prejudgements. Let me furthur denounce the bullshit things I have said or wrote about someone I don't even know. This is a journal, just a journal. This is where I say whatever I want about whatever. Yes, I know that it is public, and that's part of the appeal. I don't care much if anyone knows my deepest darkest secrets, hopes, failures, etc. But, in considering that this is a journal, you must realize that things written here are written and posted in much haste. This is kind of a place for me to just rant and not even consider what I'm saying or the reprocussions of what I'm saying. My point in all this is that if I directed any negativity toward you, it really has nothing to do with you. I might have said "Dave's girlfriend sucks." when I was really thinking "I am such an idiot for giving a shit about this stupid boy."
You're a woman. You know what it's like to get swept up in a man's bullshit, and let me just tell you, mine and dave's "relationship" (if you would even call it that) consisted of alot of bullshit. Of course, none of this bullshit came from me, and he was action-packed with it.
I want you to know that I talked to Dave on the phone everynight for a week when I was in California, and we met as soon as I got back to Alabama, but not once were you mentioned untill after the damage had already been done. I didn't know about you just like you didn't know about me. You can imagine my reaction upon hearing of "Dave's ex-girlfriend of two years." I was fucking livid. Being someone who considers myself a very honest person, I can tell you right now that nothing would have happened between Dave and I had I known that there was someone else in the picture. I don't think you know how much I hate being "the other woman."
I truly am sorry for the way things worked out. Sure, I was pretty irked about being jerked around, AGAIN, by some dumb fucking boy... but I know that what happened has hurt you alot more that it has me.
As for the things I've written about you, you must consider the source. I did not talk shit just for shit talking's sake. Most of what I said or wrote about you had been told to me by your one and only ex-fuckface. Beyond that, anything about you was mere opinion, as well as completely invalid considering that, one, I have never even met you, and two, I was pretty fucking pissed (among other emotions) about the whole situation. We all say things we don't mean, and I didn't mean anything I said about you.
As for me, I'm pretty well over the whole damn thing. I haven't written here in a while, but here's an update. FUCK IT! Fuck Dave, fuck my stupidity, fuck the drama, fuck the whole thing. I'm over it, and if I wasn't, I would consider myself pretty stupid for not letting it go for so long. I'm so over it that I can't even remember your first name. For a bit there it was going through my head all the time.
Again. I'm sorry. Sorry for what I said, sorry for what I did, sorry for everything that happened, and sorry that I was involved in a situation that caused you alot of pain. Though I wish that, for your sake, this had never happened, I hope that it has helped you see the true nature of the beast that is boy. Don't persist with Dave. If he really was devoted to you, none of this would have ever happened. I hope you can come to terms with it and move on as soon as possible. Remember, doll, no one, NO ONE, is worth the anguish. Don't waste your precious time hurting over someone that wouldn't do the same for you. Looking in on the flip side- all aspects of life are your playground. Accept things, find your gain from them, and move on to the next beautiful day.
In all sincerity,
Rheana
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