Beatty, 1988 (part 9 of 9 + notes)

[kalliel]

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 + a/n | Full Story (.PDF) | Artwork by starry_ice

fear (v)."November 2, 1983. You know the house. Was that you?" John can't say more than that. There's a reason it doesn't get talked about

Comments

[blackcat333_99]

Wow. This was just... it leaves me speechless. I had to pause several times while reading to absorb it and process -- the flashbacks and how much they hurt and how true they are to kids and how they think and react and have their own limited perspective but it doesn't make them wrong... all of it. Just wow. And the juxtaposition of how Sam and Dean's memories of their flashbacks still ripple into effect in this "today" of theirs, nobody can hurt them quite as bad as each other, and sometimes they mean it and sometimes they don't understand the hurt, but there's always love tying them together, their safety net of each other, no matter the push-pull of all the rest.

My heart also broke for John, seeing how he was a man who saw himself in an impossible situation with his boys -- wanting to keep them safe, can't keep them safe, focused on what he can do, destroying the last of Dean's innocence and Dean doesn't blame him for that, just thanks him for protecting Sam from being a part of it... GAH!!!! My heart is shredded in the best possible way. Poor Rita, seeing the little boy Dean should have been, seeing the man he's headed toward becoming, and caring about him enough to get herself killed.

I just loved this, all the way through. Painful, cutting, all too revealing of the inner demons all three Winchesters have spent a lifetime battling. Brilliant.

[kalliel]

Sorry this is so belated. This story and I needed some, uh, time off. I hope you didn't feel as though your comment went unappreciated, because that is certainly not the case!

Your review is so beautiful; I don't even know what to say, except that I'm thrilled it worked for you. I wasn't sure how much of what I wanted to evoke would come through. Thank you so, so much for your thoughtful commentary, and for reading in general. It means a lot to me. <3