The Words I Couldn't Say
Title: The Words I Couldn't Say (1/2)
Characters: EXO, Luhan-centric, mentions of SMTOWN
Pairing: Sehun/Luhan/Kai
Setting: Set in The Mortal Instruments world by Cassandra Clare.
Summary: Luhan is a Shadowhunter, Kris is the leader of the Seoul Institute and Tao is High Warlock. The descent into hell is an easy one.
I wonder if we're sometimes standing in the same memory
I wonder if sometimes, time has stopped for you too
Nell- The Day Before
Luhan followed as Kris, grim-faced, stepped through the portal.
“That fucker has a sick sense of humour,” muttered the Director of the Seoul Institute.
The abandoned dance studio seemed to sigh as a light wind blew through the cracked windows, rattling the remains of cloud-printed wallpaper.
“He’s just trying to mess with our minds,” muttered Minseok aka Xiumin, more to himself than anyone else. Jongdae, or Chen as they called him in the Beijing Institute, gripped his seraph blade closer, witchlight shining in his other hand. Tao swore under his breath and glared at the cracked mirrors. Luhan knew what they were thinking, remembering. Something moved in his peripheral vision and his heart clenched as he tried not to look at the words they’d written there in a time that seemed decades ago.
“Are you alright?” A warm hand on his shoulder - Yixing. Their unofficial healer-he’d always been good with healing runes and now, his angular face gazed at Luhan who gave a weak smile and nodded.
“Just hit him with your Rubix cube,” said Tao, “And I’ll shove my bo stick where the sun don’t shine”. Needless to say, the warlock was not in a good mood. The silver G on his otherwise black boot winked in the witchlight and both Luhan and Yixing smiled. Tao had always been particularly touchy when teased about his penchant for all things Gucci and Xiumin had learnt that the hard way. The hemorrhoids had driven him crazy and the warlock only relented when he’d been offered the latest manbag. Luhan chuckled, oh how he had laughed together with... Now was not the time to be remembering. Not a time to remember, to regret, to feel. No, I mustn’t feel anything, he thought. To feel could be a big mistake.
The floorboards creaked and Chen grimaced at the dried black stains on the floor-demon blood. Kris motioned for them to hurry up, and pulled away a poster of some old pop group to reveal a hidden door. The others gathered around him, forming a protective semi-circle as Tao and Kris worked to open it. Darkness opened up, hideous red runes carved into the concrete that seemed to mock the small group as they descended. Luhan could hear Chen humming something to himself-a hymn perhaps-which meant he was nervous. He really didn’t understand how Kris could hold himself together after everything that had happened, after seeing the old Leader, Junsu, murdered before him by his own parabatai. A pair of warriors closer than siblings, connected in body and soul. Parabatai. The word pulled and dragged at Luhan, drawing him deeper into the well of despair that had been collecting through time.
Wither thou goest, I will go;
Where thou diest, will I die
And there will I be buried:
The Angel do so to me, and more also,
if aught but death part thee and me
Yixing glanced at him and Luhan realized he’d been speaking aloud. Xiumin and Chen weren’t looking at him and Tao’s whole body had gone rigid. Kris said nothing and instead, kicked aside the bones of something and placed a hand on the floor.
“Here.”
Tao nodded, dark eyed rimmed with kohl and started chanting, hands raised and voice strong. The ground shook and the dust rose from the floor, whipping into a small storm. Chen raised his cowl higher to cover his mouth and Xiumin squeezed his eyes shut. The edges of the warlocks’ cloak blew and then were thrust behind him as a great light shone before him, revealing the blood-red shirt below, a large fringed necklace equally red and his sword. Tao shouted something unintelligible and as the dust settled a portal sat before them. Tao looked at Kris, Kris looked at Tao.
“Guess I’ll go first,” said the Leader and stepped through. One by one they went, Tao last of all to seal the portal. As Luhan stepped through he gasped but Tao put a hand over his mouth and shook his head furiously. They had emerged on a large sand dune, which was currently concealing them from the scene below.
“Traitors,” hissed Xiumin and Luhan gazed sadly upon the rows of Nephilim who were gathered, a sea of black amongst the pale sand. They were watching a man-no, boy-at the front who stood holding what seemed like the Mortal Cup before a blazing bonfire, the charred remains of a Pentagram beside him.
“Drink, brothers,” he purred, “Drink and become stronger than you ever could have been under the confined rules of the Angel.” The last word was spat. “Lilith gives all her children strength and love, together my brothers, we shall rid the world of the weak and of the dirty Downworlders alike.”
Luhan wanted to cry.
“Someone is on a power trip,” said Tao, re-adjusting his spiked choker. Kris raised an eyebrow and one hand reached out absentmindedly to smooth his well-coiffed hair. It was almost the same colour as their surroundings.
“You have all seen how I have changed have you not?”
There was a murmur of assent among the crowd but one voice called out.
“Physical changes do not guarantee there are no side effects. How do we know we’ll be left whole, normal?”
The boy smiled patronizingly and waved a dismissive hand.
“Lilith looks after all her children and for those who love her most, she gives great reward. Kyungsoo… Have you so little faith in me? Or do you need further proof our Mother loves us?”
Kyungsoo, why Kyungsoo. Luhan saw how the expressions in Chen and Xiumin’s faces shifted for a moment before their blank masks came back. Long ago, or rather, a mere two years ago they and Kyungsoo had been based together in the Seoul Institute, training to be Shadowhunters together along with five others. Luhan and Yixing joined them from the Beijing Institute, followed shortly by Kris-or Wufan as he was originally called-who came from the Vancouver Institute. As for Tao… He had always been around. Not really there, more content to watch from the side lines, appearing only in times of need or when Gucci items were on the black market-until Kris arrived. Perhaps they bonded together in mutual gigantism and having permanent bitch-face. You agree right Luhan? Luhan stopped the smile before it formed and focused on the scene at hand.
The hooded boy at the front walked, Mortal Cup in hand, filled with sludgy black liquid-demon blood. Kris’s eyebrows knitted together, making him seem more pissed-off than usual. His grip on his seraph blade tightened; Tao was chanting something, preparing a spell; Chen was carving runes into his arm, Xiumin doing the same. Yixing’s breathing had sped up and he whispered into Luhan’s ear some vague words of comfort.
“Don’t hesitate.”
It was an order. Kris’s face was hard as he continued, “It doesn’t matter who it is, this matter has gone on far too long. We’ve been too lenient. The Clave has ordered the execution of any demons or apparent ringleaders… If anyone surrenders, make sure they’re disabled properly. Forget the past; forget anything that may hold you back. These people won’t hold back with you, no matter who you are or what you are.”
The last part was directed at Luhan.
Kyungsoo, face still hidden behind his hood was now moving forward, his steps slow and Luhan sensed he was hesistant. The boy holding the cup grew impatient and someone pushed Kyungsoo forward, his hood falling down. In the evening light he looked terribly young and frightened.
“Drink, brother. You shall become one of the glorious children of Lilith.”
That voice, it wasn’t right. Luhan wanted to close his ears to it, forget how compelling it sounded. Kyungsoo reached forward and the Cup was placed into his hands. A silence fell upon the Nephilim as they waited.
“Go on then,” said the other, “Hurry up and drink.”
Kyungsoo paused, eyes flickering to the other and back to the cup. The other let out a low growl and took a step forward-
-which was when a cacophony of howls broke the desert calm and the werewolves streamed in from the surrounding dunes.
“Suho-hyung!” said Chen happily, “It’s the Gangnam pack!”
Brightly coloured streams of light fizzed their way into the Nephilim’s faces and they screamed as they exploded into miniature fireworks that buzzed and banged. A tall, gangly figure with a mop of messy orange hair strode in amongst the werewolves, shooting light here and there. His many chain-linked necklaces glimmered with red fire and he pointed one finger at an approaching Nephilim, setting the man on fire. With great flair he blew on his smoking finger and burst into peals of laughter.
“Oh no he didn’t,” said Tao, eyes narrowed, “No one steals my thunder.”
And then he was up and running towards the fray, bo stick crackling with what looked like white electricity. A rain of red petals fell from the sky as he approached the battle and Kris sighed.
“Warlocks, why are they all flaming queens?”
Minseok burst into laughter and looked at Chen who was also laughing. They set off in a curved path around the battle, making their way down to help a badly outnumbered werewolf. Kris turned to the remaining two, gaze piercing Luhan.
“Ready?”
No, no, I don’t want to do this, I can’t accept this, please don’t make me
“I’m ready.”
The rune for speed shone and faded on Luhan’s wrist as he joined them, running down the sand into the battle. Time seemed to slow done, each step like the beat of a drum, resonating through his body. Faces that were once a blur became defined, a horrible collection of expressions that seemed to shift at a torturous pace. Baekhyun, thought Luhan, passing a dark Nephilim in battle with a werewolf, Byun Baekhyun, once my roommate. Baekhyun and the werewolf seemed to be in a deadlock as the wolf snarled at him, blood dripping off its canines. Baekhyun gave an equally vicious snarl and sprang, seraph blade whirling. Luhan tried to see what was happening but Yixing pulled him away, just as a blade struck the sand where he once stood.
“Concentrate Luhan!” cried Kris, knee smashing into someone’s nose. Another dark Nephilim ran at him and Kris kicked them in the crotch, then, as they doubled over in pain, brought his fists down on the back of their head. Briefly Luhan wondered how the man was able to fight in such tight jeans, and how his hair hadn’t moved an inch. Maybe it’s Kris, maybe it’s Maybelline. Beside him Yixing grunted as a blade grazed his waist and responded by shoving his blade in the other man’s side. A werewolf stumbled into Luhan, muzzle bleeding and gave him a wink. Luhan smiled, it seemed Kim Jonghyun was having fun as usual. The werewolf let out a howl, giving it a trill at the end and bounded off.
“Show off.” Tao sniffed disdainfully, somehow having found them again, “Always harping on about his voice.”
“Can you stop time? Now?” asked Kris, back to back with Yixing, “Because we’re kind of on the losing end right now.”
He was right, Luhan realized, their numbers were simply too small. Not to mention the wide swathe the hooded boy, the leader was cutting through the Shadowhunters and werewolves. The Beijing Institute had sent back up but it wasn’t enough but there was no time to grieve. Luhan saw Zhou Mi fall but another Shadowhunter took his place immediately against the hooded boy, who seemed to be dancing almost, poised like a snake to strike. Someone shoved Luhan and he found himself alone, away from his circle of friends. Kris called out something but it was drowned in the melee and Luhan flinched as the headless body of a werewolf-now back in human form-dropped lifelessly before him. The sand was stained red and the smell of blood and sweat threatening to overwhelm him but he steeled himself. Now was not the time to go soft. Now was the time to put everything right, to destroy the abomination posing as the Mortal Cup and to make sure no Dark Shadowhunters-or as Kris referred to them, Lighthunters-were created. Seraph blade flashing he leapt at the werewolf’s killer and their blades clanged as they connected both of them dodging and parrying. Luhan dropped to the ground and tried to sweep the man’s feet from under him but the guy jumped and kicked sand into his eyes. Crying out, the Shadowhunter wiped frantically at his eyes, trying desperately to gauge his opponent’s movements. Sand was kicked, Luhan twisted right just in time as the sound of a blade cutting through air went past his ear. Nimbly, he sent a fist into his opponent’s chest, this time unflinching as the crunch of bones was heard. The other man staggered backwards for a second, gasping before feinting a punch. Luhan dodged, but didn’t see the other fist as it slammed into his face, tearing his lip. Saltiness filled his mouth as blood dripped off his chin and he regained focus, slashing his blade. The other parried and they went, to and fro, to and fro. It was starting to become familiar and there was a dull ache, brief but painful in his heart. It’s as almost as if-
“LUHAN!” screamed Tao, somewhere, as the seraph blade, glinting, sped towards his heart.
Twisting, ignoring the tweak of protest his back gave him, Luhan fell, hands and blade crossed as he tried to prevent the other. A rock lodged itself into his side and he cried out in pain, as the blade slid through his shoulder. Desperately he kicked at the other man, whose eyes widened in surprise before falling back and Luhan ripped the blade out, wincing as the flesh stung. Using his good arm, he sliced in an arc at the fallen man, blood sprinkling the sand below as he cut through the man’s hamstrings. The wind picked up, blowing the sand into a frenzy as the Shadowhunter crawled towards his opponent who was trying to get back up. A werewolf-Jonghyun?-howled close by and a dark Nephilim thudded to the ground that was wet with Luhan’s blood. His opponent had managed to pick himself up and despite his wounds, struck out at the Chinese Shadowhunter who blocked and pinned the guy down, trying to take away his seraph blade.
“I don’t want to hurt you!” yelled Luhan, “Just stop this foolishness! What you’re doing is insane, it goes against the Angel!
The other stilled and for a split second, it seemed like he was about to give up, the tension slipping out of his body. Lying above him, Luhan felt his heartbeat, smelt that smell of sandalwood, NO
“You already hurt me,” said the Lighthunter and Luhan didn’t have time to block the Seraph blade. Now he lay beneath the other, eyes wide with shock, disappointment. The dark Nephilim’s hood had fallen and the other tugged the robe off impatiently, tattered and torn from their battle, chest heaving with effort. Obviously Luhan had cracked more than one rib. The Nephilim stared with hatred at the Shadowhunter pinned beneath him, brown hair cut close to his eyes, thin face set in that once familiar dead-pan expression.
“Sehun,” breathed Luhan, “Oh Sehun.” By the Angel, why?
“Join us,” said Sehun, “And we can be together again.” His free hand, the one not pushing the blade closer to Luhan’s heart, traced the outline of Luhan’s arm, light as a butterfly.
Together, together, together was so long ago, together was dancing in the abandoned building, making kimchi stew in ungoldly hours and eating. Together was curling up in bed on a sunny morning, fitting your bodies together like a puzzle, inhaling the smell of each other. Together was pretending to be dragged out to buy bubble tea in winter, holding hands in Clave meetings clandestinely, stealing Tao’s Gucci bags and hiding them. Together was kissing as if every day was to be the last, never knowing whether each battle would be the last. Together was like drowning in everything the other person was, drowning but unwilling to break free and breathe.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” asked Luhan, eyes wide, body trembling, trying to stop from crying. Sehun’s eyes softened somewhat but he didn’t ease up.
“The Angel restricts us from what we could be, from what we should be. Downworlders should be eradicated and even though Yunho failed the first time, now that we have Lilith’s blood we can be reborn without Heavenly restrictions and with greater power to do what we should.”
“Yunho was crazy, a complete psychopath!” cried Luhan, eyes searching Sehun’s face for some sort of warmth, some semblance of empathy, “He killed members of the Clave, he ordered the kill of Junsu, he tried to kill his lover, Jaejoong! Did he even kill Downworlders since he was so busy killing us?!”
“Jaejoong and Yunho were parabatai and you know that parabatai are forbidden to love each other. Killing Jaejoong would have erased his sin from the Angel’s eyes and besides,” Sehun smirked, “You forget that Lilith has no qualms with parabati loving so he was aiming for something good. Jaejoong just couldn’t see that, too weak to break free from Heaven’s mandates.”
Luhan stopped struggling, feeling the blood drain out of him. Each movement shifted the blade closer to his heart anyway. Far away, Yixing was shouting. As Sehun felt the fight leave Luhan his grip eased up and he lowered his face, legs shifting so he was straddling, rather than sitting on Luhan.
“This could all be over if you just joined us,” he said. There was a note of pleading in his voice and tiredly, Luhan noticed that his grip on the blade had slackened.
“What happened to you? To us?” He turned his gaze from his heart to Sehun, brown eyes round and luminous. Once, Sehun had told him he could die happy after looking into his eyes. Now the other’s eyes were like flint as they regarded him with disappointment and slight disgust. “Sehun-ah.”
Sehun stiffened, a change so small that someone who didn’t know him as well as Luhan did, would have missed. In fact, Luhan was sure that nobody, nobody in their circle of twelve knew Oh Sehun as well as him, and yet now, it seemed he knew nothing at all. The wind roared and Sehun pulled his white jacket off, shielding around their faces, now so close that if he tried, he could kiss him. Luhan licked his lip, feeling the cut start to close up and Sehun’s eyes followed his tongue, before looking at him once again. The white of his shirt made him seem even paler and his pants, covered in black and white zig-zags were stained with sand, dust and blood. His breathing hitched and Luhan saw the hands holding the jacket tighten into fists. He tried again.
“Sehun-ah, please.”
If he was begging he didn’t care anymore. Kris had told him to forget the past for now but how could he, when the person he’d trusted the most-the only other person apart from one other-had betrayed them all, had killed Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike and had just tried to kill him. No, said his mind, he didn’t kill me. He could have. Sehun’s face twitched and then his lips were on Luhan’s, desperate, searching. Luhan closed his eyes and kissed back, the world was gone and it was just him and Sehun in this moment of madness, his cut re-opening as Sehun kissed him again and again, careful not to push the blade in further. This was noted gratefully, sadly, by the other Shadownhunter who settled for looping both his grimy hands around Sehun’s neck, pulling him closer. This is what it feels like to fall, thought Luhan.
“Come with me,” whispered Sehun, breath hot in his ears, face flushed and lips swollen. Luhan blinked, trying to control his emotions. His lover looked so young and hopeful as they watched his face, hoping, wishing for Luhan to say yes. Luhan knew however, with a dull pain and resignation that he never would.
“I’m sorry,” he mouthed, energy seeming to dissolve into the sand beneath him, “I can’t.”
Sehun’s eyes widened with shock and anger and he reared up and away from Luhan, hands loosening on the jacket and yanking the seraph blade out. Luhan screamed as an arc of blood splattered on his white and silver vest. Sehun’s breathing was heavy, laboured and in his anger he seemed to forget his wounds as he brought the blade down once again. Closing his eyes, Luhan waited. I don’t want my last memories of you to be like this.
Suddenly the weight disappeared and he opened his eyes to see Kris, chest rising and falling as he watched Sehun crumple against the boulder upon which he’d been thrown. Turning to his friend, Kris helped Luhan stand up as Yixing rushed to his side, drawing out his stele and tracing every healing rune available on his chest.
“I’m sorry,” said Luhan, “But I just couldn’t”
“I know,” said Kris, firmly but not unkindly, “I know.”
Already his skin had begun to knit itself together but he knew that internally, the wound would need a few days before he was back to normal. Scanning the battlefield he saw both warlocks in what was probably an overly flamboyant display of their skills-Chanyeol had seen fit to call upon a Phoenix which was now crowing at a disturbingly high pitch-and easily rounding up rogue Lighthunters. Suho was howling in pain, blood pouring out of a large hole in his leg as he tottered away from the hooded Lighthunter who was covered in blood and sand, though the blood didn’t seem to be his own. Minseok and Chen circled him warily and Kris gave Luhan one last look before racing off to join them. Watching the approaching Shadowhunter, the boy laughed, a cold, heartless laugh while most people would have shivered at the sight of the imposing Shadowhunter.
“Luhan, ge, concentrate,” said Yixing, shaking him softly, “You need to get out of here and rest.”
“No,” He stared Yixing straight in the face, “Not without Sehun.”
Luhan looked at Sehun’s crumpled body-except it wasn’t there anymore. Yixing barely had time to shout before the hilt of a blade smashed into his temple and he slid to the ground before Luhan who gaped at Sehun, who kicked the fallen Shadowhunter out of the way.
“Sehun-ah,” said Luhan, the shock evident in his voice, “No, don’t, I love”
Sehun’s eyes hardened as he struck and Luhan felt tears spring to his eyes as their bodies slipped down to the ground, the fight leaving both of them. Sehun’s body was warm and sticky, covered in both their blood and sweat, Luhan’s tears running down his cheek. The seraph blade lay useless next to him and Luhan sobbed, as Sehun wrapped two exhausted arms around him, pulling him closer.
“Why did you do that? It didn’t have to be this way!”
Sehun coughed, blood trickling out the corner of his mouth.
“I would have been killed anyway, by the Clave or by him. Don’t worry hyung, I don’t feel a thing right now.”
Luhan’s hands were trembling around the other boy’s torso, gripping onto his shirt before he pushed him back.
“I can heal you! I know almost all the healing runes-Yixing taught me!” Frantically he searched for his stele. Sehun shook his head weakly, and pulled him closer, rubbing his nose against the shorter boy.
“It’s over. You’ll be a hero when you get back.”
“Assuming I survive,” said Luhan darkly, tears rolling down in fat globules, “Though I might as well be dead right now.”
Sehun laughed, a horrible sound as his lungs gurgled as they tried to pump air and blood out. His hands found Luhan’s face and he kissed him, shielding his eyes from the wind and sand. Hold me tight and never let me go hyung. Luhan tried to stop shaking, kissing back with all the love and passion he’d ever felt and Sehun’s mouth found his ears, words caressing them with tenderness.
“I love you Luhan-ah.”
The pulse slowed, slowed, stopped. Luhan screamed his frustration to the world as he cradled Sehun’s limp body in his arms, his own seraph blade sticking out like a bloody thorn from the other’s back. Yixing lay unconscious, a dark bruise tainting his skin. Tao was shouting a warning about something, someone but Luhan was too consumed by grief to care until-
“Well, isn’t this touching. I see you’re still as sentimental as ever but for a girly-looking guy you put up a good fight. Hyung.”
The grief drained from him as rage took its place. A tiny bell-like sound went off as someone blinked into existence behind him, and Luhan turned to look, still clutching Sehun’s body, a hand gripping his hair, fingers finding comfort in the warmth that resided still.
The moon was full as it shone down on the desert plain and the figure, hooded no more looked down in a shameful mockery of kindness. Full lips, tanned skin and arrogance that rolled off in waves; the false Mortal Cup in one hand, a twirling seraph blade in the other. Even in the moonlight Luhan saw the pupils were now black, no longer brown, giving off the impression of a monster. He is.
“Kai.”
A/N: Phew, that was longer that expected. Clothing based on their MAMA MV. It's been a while since I've written anything but EXO brought me back 8) Part 2 almost finished...
Characters: EXO, Luhan-centric, mentions of SMTOWN
Pairing: Sehun/Luhan/Kai
Setting: Set in The Mortal Instruments world by Cassandra Clare.
Summary: Luhan is a Shadowhunter, Kris is the leader of the Seoul Institute and Tao is High Warlock. The descent into hell is an easy one.
I wonder if we're sometimes standing in the same memory
I wonder if sometimes, time has stopped for you too
Nell- The Day Before
Luhan followed as Kris, grim-faced, stepped through the portal.
“That fucker has a sick sense of humour,” muttered the Director of the Seoul Institute.
The abandoned dance studio seemed to sigh as a light wind blew through the cracked windows, rattling the remains of cloud-printed wallpaper.
“He’s just trying to mess with our minds,” muttered Minseok aka Xiumin, more to himself than anyone else. Jongdae, or Chen as they called him in the Beijing Institute, gripped his seraph blade closer, witchlight shining in his other hand. Tao swore under his breath and glared at the cracked mirrors. Luhan knew what they were thinking, remembering. Something moved in his peripheral vision and his heart clenched as he tried not to look at the words they’d written there in a time that seemed decades ago.
“Are you alright?” A warm hand on his shoulder - Yixing. Their unofficial healer-he’d always been good with healing runes and now, his angular face gazed at Luhan who gave a weak smile and nodded.
“Just hit him with your Rubix cube,” said Tao, “And I’ll shove my bo stick where the sun don’t shine”. Needless to say, the warlock was not in a good mood. The silver G on his otherwise black boot winked in the witchlight and both Luhan and Yixing smiled. Tao had always been particularly touchy when teased about his penchant for all things Gucci and Xiumin had learnt that the hard way. The hemorrhoids had driven him crazy and the warlock only relented when he’d been offered the latest manbag. Luhan chuckled, oh how he had laughed together with... Now was not the time to be remembering. Not a time to remember, to regret, to feel. No, I mustn’t feel anything, he thought. To feel could be a big mistake.
The floorboards creaked and Chen grimaced at the dried black stains on the floor-demon blood. Kris motioned for them to hurry up, and pulled away a poster of some old pop group to reveal a hidden door. The others gathered around him, forming a protective semi-circle as Tao and Kris worked to open it. Darkness opened up, hideous red runes carved into the concrete that seemed to mock the small group as they descended. Luhan could hear Chen humming something to himself-a hymn perhaps-which meant he was nervous. He really didn’t understand how Kris could hold himself together after everything that had happened, after seeing the old Leader, Junsu, murdered before him by his own parabatai. A pair of warriors closer than siblings, connected in body and soul. Parabatai. The word pulled and dragged at Luhan, drawing him deeper into the well of despair that had been collecting through time.
Wither thou goest, I will go;
Where thou diest, will I die
And there will I be buried:
The Angel do so to me, and more also,
if aught but death part thee and me
Yixing glanced at him and Luhan realized he’d been speaking aloud. Xiumin and Chen weren’t looking at him and Tao’s whole body had gone rigid. Kris said nothing and instead, kicked aside the bones of something and placed a hand on the floor.
“Here.”
Tao nodded, dark eyed rimmed with kohl and started chanting, hands raised and voice strong. The ground shook and the dust rose from the floor, whipping into a small storm. Chen raised his cowl higher to cover his mouth and Xiumin squeezed his eyes shut. The edges of the warlocks’ cloak blew and then were thrust behind him as a great light shone before him, revealing the blood-red shirt below, a large fringed necklace equally red and his sword. Tao shouted something unintelligible and as the dust settled a portal sat before them. Tao looked at Kris, Kris looked at Tao.
“Guess I’ll go first,” said the Leader and stepped through. One by one they went, Tao last of all to seal the portal. As Luhan stepped through he gasped but Tao put a hand over his mouth and shook his head furiously. They had emerged on a large sand dune, which was currently concealing them from the scene below.
“Traitors,” hissed Xiumin and Luhan gazed sadly upon the rows of Nephilim who were gathered, a sea of black amongst the pale sand. They were watching a man-no, boy-at the front who stood holding what seemed like the Mortal Cup before a blazing bonfire, the charred remains of a Pentagram beside him.
“Drink, brothers,” he purred, “Drink and become stronger than you ever could have been under the confined rules of the Angel.” The last word was spat. “Lilith gives all her children strength and love, together my brothers, we shall rid the world of the weak and of the dirty Downworlders alike.”
Luhan wanted to cry.
“Someone is on a power trip,” said Tao, re-adjusting his spiked choker. Kris raised an eyebrow and one hand reached out absentmindedly to smooth his well-coiffed hair. It was almost the same colour as their surroundings.
“You have all seen how I have changed have you not?”
There was a murmur of assent among the crowd but one voice called out.
“Physical changes do not guarantee there are no side effects. How do we know we’ll be left whole, normal?”
The boy smiled patronizingly and waved a dismissive hand.
“Lilith looks after all her children and for those who love her most, she gives great reward. Kyungsoo… Have you so little faith in me? Or do you need further proof our Mother loves us?”
Kyungsoo, why Kyungsoo. Luhan saw how the expressions in Chen and Xiumin’s faces shifted for a moment before their blank masks came back. Long ago, or rather, a mere two years ago they and Kyungsoo had been based together in the Seoul Institute, training to be Shadowhunters together along with five others. Luhan and Yixing joined them from the Beijing Institute, followed shortly by Kris-or Wufan as he was originally called-who came from the Vancouver Institute. As for Tao… He had always been around. Not really there, more content to watch from the side lines, appearing only in times of need or when Gucci items were on the black market-until Kris arrived. Perhaps they bonded together in mutual gigantism and having permanent bitch-face. You agree right Luhan? Luhan stopped the smile before it formed and focused on the scene at hand.
The hooded boy at the front walked, Mortal Cup in hand, filled with sludgy black liquid-demon blood. Kris’s eyebrows knitted together, making him seem more pissed-off than usual. His grip on his seraph blade tightened; Tao was chanting something, preparing a spell; Chen was carving runes into his arm, Xiumin doing the same. Yixing’s breathing had sped up and he whispered into Luhan’s ear some vague words of comfort.
“Don’t hesitate.”
It was an order. Kris’s face was hard as he continued, “It doesn’t matter who it is, this matter has gone on far too long. We’ve been too lenient. The Clave has ordered the execution of any demons or apparent ringleaders… If anyone surrenders, make sure they’re disabled properly. Forget the past; forget anything that may hold you back. These people won’t hold back with you, no matter who you are or what you are.”
The last part was directed at Luhan.
Kyungsoo, face still hidden behind his hood was now moving forward, his steps slow and Luhan sensed he was hesistant. The boy holding the cup grew impatient and someone pushed Kyungsoo forward, his hood falling down. In the evening light he looked terribly young and frightened.
“Drink, brother. You shall become one of the glorious children of Lilith.”
That voice, it wasn’t right. Luhan wanted to close his ears to it, forget how compelling it sounded. Kyungsoo reached forward and the Cup was placed into his hands. A silence fell upon the Nephilim as they waited.
“Go on then,” said the other, “Hurry up and drink.”
Kyungsoo paused, eyes flickering to the other and back to the cup. The other let out a low growl and took a step forward-
-which was when a cacophony of howls broke the desert calm and the werewolves streamed in from the surrounding dunes.
“Suho-hyung!” said Chen happily, “It’s the Gangnam pack!”
Brightly coloured streams of light fizzed their way into the Nephilim’s faces and they screamed as they exploded into miniature fireworks that buzzed and banged. A tall, gangly figure with a mop of messy orange hair strode in amongst the werewolves, shooting light here and there. His many chain-linked necklaces glimmered with red fire and he pointed one finger at an approaching Nephilim, setting the man on fire. With great flair he blew on his smoking finger and burst into peals of laughter.
“Oh no he didn’t,” said Tao, eyes narrowed, “No one steals my thunder.”
And then he was up and running towards the fray, bo stick crackling with what looked like white electricity. A rain of red petals fell from the sky as he approached the battle and Kris sighed.
“Warlocks, why are they all flaming queens?”
Minseok burst into laughter and looked at Chen who was also laughing. They set off in a curved path around the battle, making their way down to help a badly outnumbered werewolf. Kris turned to the remaining two, gaze piercing Luhan.
“Ready?”
No, no, I don’t want to do this, I can’t accept this, please don’t make me
“I’m ready.”
The rune for speed shone and faded on Luhan’s wrist as he joined them, running down the sand into the battle. Time seemed to slow done, each step like the beat of a drum, resonating through his body. Faces that were once a blur became defined, a horrible collection of expressions that seemed to shift at a torturous pace. Baekhyun, thought Luhan, passing a dark Nephilim in battle with a werewolf, Byun Baekhyun, once my roommate. Baekhyun and the werewolf seemed to be in a deadlock as the wolf snarled at him, blood dripping off its canines. Baekhyun gave an equally vicious snarl and sprang, seraph blade whirling. Luhan tried to see what was happening but Yixing pulled him away, just as a blade struck the sand where he once stood.
“Concentrate Luhan!” cried Kris, knee smashing into someone’s nose. Another dark Nephilim ran at him and Kris kicked them in the crotch, then, as they doubled over in pain, brought his fists down on the back of their head. Briefly Luhan wondered how the man was able to fight in such tight jeans, and how his hair hadn’t moved an inch. Maybe it’s Kris, maybe it’s Maybelline. Beside him Yixing grunted as a blade grazed his waist and responded by shoving his blade in the other man’s side. A werewolf stumbled into Luhan, muzzle bleeding and gave him a wink. Luhan smiled, it seemed Kim Jonghyun was having fun as usual. The werewolf let out a howl, giving it a trill at the end and bounded off.
“Show off.” Tao sniffed disdainfully, somehow having found them again, “Always harping on about his voice.”
“Can you stop time? Now?” asked Kris, back to back with Yixing, “Because we’re kind of on the losing end right now.”
He was right, Luhan realized, their numbers were simply too small. Not to mention the wide swathe the hooded boy, the leader was cutting through the Shadowhunters and werewolves. The Beijing Institute had sent back up but it wasn’t enough but there was no time to grieve. Luhan saw Zhou Mi fall but another Shadowhunter took his place immediately against the hooded boy, who seemed to be dancing almost, poised like a snake to strike. Someone shoved Luhan and he found himself alone, away from his circle of friends. Kris called out something but it was drowned in the melee and Luhan flinched as the headless body of a werewolf-now back in human form-dropped lifelessly before him. The sand was stained red and the smell of blood and sweat threatening to overwhelm him but he steeled himself. Now was not the time to go soft. Now was the time to put everything right, to destroy the abomination posing as the Mortal Cup and to make sure no Dark Shadowhunters-or as Kris referred to them, Lighthunters-were created. Seraph blade flashing he leapt at the werewolf’s killer and their blades clanged as they connected both of them dodging and parrying. Luhan dropped to the ground and tried to sweep the man’s feet from under him but the guy jumped and kicked sand into his eyes. Crying out, the Shadowhunter wiped frantically at his eyes, trying desperately to gauge his opponent’s movements. Sand was kicked, Luhan twisted right just in time as the sound of a blade cutting through air went past his ear. Nimbly, he sent a fist into his opponent’s chest, this time unflinching as the crunch of bones was heard. The other man staggered backwards for a second, gasping before feinting a punch. Luhan dodged, but didn’t see the other fist as it slammed into his face, tearing his lip. Saltiness filled his mouth as blood dripped off his chin and he regained focus, slashing his blade. The other parried and they went, to and fro, to and fro. It was starting to become familiar and there was a dull ache, brief but painful in his heart. It’s as almost as if-
“LUHAN!” screamed Tao, somewhere, as the seraph blade, glinting, sped towards his heart.
Twisting, ignoring the tweak of protest his back gave him, Luhan fell, hands and blade crossed as he tried to prevent the other. A rock lodged itself into his side and he cried out in pain, as the blade slid through his shoulder. Desperately he kicked at the other man, whose eyes widened in surprise before falling back and Luhan ripped the blade out, wincing as the flesh stung. Using his good arm, he sliced in an arc at the fallen man, blood sprinkling the sand below as he cut through the man’s hamstrings. The wind picked up, blowing the sand into a frenzy as the Shadowhunter crawled towards his opponent who was trying to get back up. A werewolf-Jonghyun?-howled close by and a dark Nephilim thudded to the ground that was wet with Luhan’s blood. His opponent had managed to pick himself up and despite his wounds, struck out at the Chinese Shadowhunter who blocked and pinned the guy down, trying to take away his seraph blade.
“I don’t want to hurt you!” yelled Luhan, “Just stop this foolishness! What you’re doing is insane, it goes against the Angel!
The other stilled and for a split second, it seemed like he was about to give up, the tension slipping out of his body. Lying above him, Luhan felt his heartbeat, smelt that smell of sandalwood, NO
“You already hurt me,” said the Lighthunter and Luhan didn’t have time to block the Seraph blade. Now he lay beneath the other, eyes wide with shock, disappointment. The dark Nephilim’s hood had fallen and the other tugged the robe off impatiently, tattered and torn from their battle, chest heaving with effort. Obviously Luhan had cracked more than one rib. The Nephilim stared with hatred at the Shadowhunter pinned beneath him, brown hair cut close to his eyes, thin face set in that once familiar dead-pan expression.
“Sehun,” breathed Luhan, “Oh Sehun.” By the Angel, why?
“Join us,” said Sehun, “And we can be together again.” His free hand, the one not pushing the blade closer to Luhan’s heart, traced the outline of Luhan’s arm, light as a butterfly.
Together, together, together was so long ago, together was dancing in the abandoned building, making kimchi stew in ungoldly hours and eating. Together was curling up in bed on a sunny morning, fitting your bodies together like a puzzle, inhaling the smell of each other. Together was pretending to be dragged out to buy bubble tea in winter, holding hands in Clave meetings clandestinely, stealing Tao’s Gucci bags and hiding them. Together was kissing as if every day was to be the last, never knowing whether each battle would be the last. Together was like drowning in everything the other person was, drowning but unwilling to break free and breathe.
“Why? Why are you doing this?” asked Luhan, eyes wide, body trembling, trying to stop from crying. Sehun’s eyes softened somewhat but he didn’t ease up.
“The Angel restricts us from what we could be, from what we should be. Downworlders should be eradicated and even though Yunho failed the first time, now that we have Lilith’s blood we can be reborn without Heavenly restrictions and with greater power to do what we should.”
“Yunho was crazy, a complete psychopath!” cried Luhan, eyes searching Sehun’s face for some sort of warmth, some semblance of empathy, “He killed members of the Clave, he ordered the kill of Junsu, he tried to kill his lover, Jaejoong! Did he even kill Downworlders since he was so busy killing us?!”
“Jaejoong and Yunho were parabatai and you know that parabatai are forbidden to love each other. Killing Jaejoong would have erased his sin from the Angel’s eyes and besides,” Sehun smirked, “You forget that Lilith has no qualms with parabati loving so he was aiming for something good. Jaejoong just couldn’t see that, too weak to break free from Heaven’s mandates.”
Luhan stopped struggling, feeling the blood drain out of him. Each movement shifted the blade closer to his heart anyway. Far away, Yixing was shouting. As Sehun felt the fight leave Luhan his grip eased up and he lowered his face, legs shifting so he was straddling, rather than sitting on Luhan.
“This could all be over if you just joined us,” he said. There was a note of pleading in his voice and tiredly, Luhan noticed that his grip on the blade had slackened.
“What happened to you? To us?” He turned his gaze from his heart to Sehun, brown eyes round and luminous. Once, Sehun had told him he could die happy after looking into his eyes. Now the other’s eyes were like flint as they regarded him with disappointment and slight disgust. “Sehun-ah.”
Sehun stiffened, a change so small that someone who didn’t know him as well as Luhan did, would have missed. In fact, Luhan was sure that nobody, nobody in their circle of twelve knew Oh Sehun as well as him, and yet now, it seemed he knew nothing at all. The wind roared and Sehun pulled his white jacket off, shielding around their faces, now so close that if he tried, he could kiss him. Luhan licked his lip, feeling the cut start to close up and Sehun’s eyes followed his tongue, before looking at him once again. The white of his shirt made him seem even paler and his pants, covered in black and white zig-zags were stained with sand, dust and blood. His breathing hitched and Luhan saw the hands holding the jacket tighten into fists. He tried again.
“Sehun-ah, please.”
If he was begging he didn’t care anymore. Kris had told him to forget the past for now but how could he, when the person he’d trusted the most-the only other person apart from one other-had betrayed them all, had killed Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike and had just tried to kill him. No, said his mind, he didn’t kill me. He could have. Sehun’s face twitched and then his lips were on Luhan’s, desperate, searching. Luhan closed his eyes and kissed back, the world was gone and it was just him and Sehun in this moment of madness, his cut re-opening as Sehun kissed him again and again, careful not to push the blade in further. This was noted gratefully, sadly, by the other Shadownhunter who settled for looping both his grimy hands around Sehun’s neck, pulling him closer. This is what it feels like to fall, thought Luhan.
“Come with me,” whispered Sehun, breath hot in his ears, face flushed and lips swollen. Luhan blinked, trying to control his emotions. His lover looked so young and hopeful as they watched his face, hoping, wishing for Luhan to say yes. Luhan knew however, with a dull pain and resignation that he never would.
“I’m sorry,” he mouthed, energy seeming to dissolve into the sand beneath him, “I can’t.”
Sehun’s eyes widened with shock and anger and he reared up and away from Luhan, hands loosening on the jacket and yanking the seraph blade out. Luhan screamed as an arc of blood splattered on his white and silver vest. Sehun’s breathing was heavy, laboured and in his anger he seemed to forget his wounds as he brought the blade down once again. Closing his eyes, Luhan waited. I don’t want my last memories of you to be like this.
Suddenly the weight disappeared and he opened his eyes to see Kris, chest rising and falling as he watched Sehun crumple against the boulder upon which he’d been thrown. Turning to his friend, Kris helped Luhan stand up as Yixing rushed to his side, drawing out his stele and tracing every healing rune available on his chest.
“I’m sorry,” said Luhan, “But I just couldn’t”
“I know,” said Kris, firmly but not unkindly, “I know.”
Already his skin had begun to knit itself together but he knew that internally, the wound would need a few days before he was back to normal. Scanning the battlefield he saw both warlocks in what was probably an overly flamboyant display of their skills-Chanyeol had seen fit to call upon a Phoenix which was now crowing at a disturbingly high pitch-and easily rounding up rogue Lighthunters. Suho was howling in pain, blood pouring out of a large hole in his leg as he tottered away from the hooded Lighthunter who was covered in blood and sand, though the blood didn’t seem to be his own. Minseok and Chen circled him warily and Kris gave Luhan one last look before racing off to join them. Watching the approaching Shadowhunter, the boy laughed, a cold, heartless laugh while most people would have shivered at the sight of the imposing Shadowhunter.
“Luhan, ge, concentrate,” said Yixing, shaking him softly, “You need to get out of here and rest.”
“No,” He stared Yixing straight in the face, “Not without Sehun.”
Luhan looked at Sehun’s crumpled body-except it wasn’t there anymore. Yixing barely had time to shout before the hilt of a blade smashed into his temple and he slid to the ground before Luhan who gaped at Sehun, who kicked the fallen Shadowhunter out of the way.
“Sehun-ah,” said Luhan, the shock evident in his voice, “No, don’t, I love”
Sehun’s eyes hardened as he struck and Luhan felt tears spring to his eyes as their bodies slipped down to the ground, the fight leaving both of them. Sehun’s body was warm and sticky, covered in both their blood and sweat, Luhan’s tears running down his cheek. The seraph blade lay useless next to him and Luhan sobbed, as Sehun wrapped two exhausted arms around him, pulling him closer.
“Why did you do that? It didn’t have to be this way!”
Sehun coughed, blood trickling out the corner of his mouth.
“I would have been killed anyway, by the Clave or by him. Don’t worry hyung, I don’t feel a thing right now.”
Luhan’s hands were trembling around the other boy’s torso, gripping onto his shirt before he pushed him back.
“I can heal you! I know almost all the healing runes-Yixing taught me!” Frantically he searched for his stele. Sehun shook his head weakly, and pulled him closer, rubbing his nose against the shorter boy.
“It’s over. You’ll be a hero when you get back.”
“Assuming I survive,” said Luhan darkly, tears rolling down in fat globules, “Though I might as well be dead right now.”
Sehun laughed, a horrible sound as his lungs gurgled as they tried to pump air and blood out. His hands found Luhan’s face and he kissed him, shielding his eyes from the wind and sand. Hold me tight and never let me go hyung. Luhan tried to stop shaking, kissing back with all the love and passion he’d ever felt and Sehun’s mouth found his ears, words caressing them with tenderness.
“I love you Luhan-ah.”
The pulse slowed, slowed, stopped. Luhan screamed his frustration to the world as he cradled Sehun’s limp body in his arms, his own seraph blade sticking out like a bloody thorn from the other’s back. Yixing lay unconscious, a dark bruise tainting his skin. Tao was shouting a warning about something, someone but Luhan was too consumed by grief to care until-
“Well, isn’t this touching. I see you’re still as sentimental as ever but for a girly-looking guy you put up a good fight. Hyung.”
The grief drained from him as rage took its place. A tiny bell-like sound went off as someone blinked into existence behind him, and Luhan turned to look, still clutching Sehun’s body, a hand gripping his hair, fingers finding comfort in the warmth that resided still.
The moon was full as it shone down on the desert plain and the figure, hooded no more looked down in a shameful mockery of kindness. Full lips, tanned skin and arrogance that rolled off in waves; the false Mortal Cup in one hand, a twirling seraph blade in the other. Even in the moonlight Luhan saw the pupils were now black, no longer brown, giving off the impression of a monster. He is.
“Kai.”
A/N: Phew, that was longer that expected. Clothing based on their MAMA MV. It's been a while since I've written anything but EXO brought me back 8) Part 2 almost finished...