(no subject)
sorry about yesterday. i don't know why i was so moody. i think i was too busy for my own good this past week and all this lack of sleep and driving and frustration and everything was just getting to me.
i was doing a lottt of thinking this week about the whole long distance thing. i wasn't expecting this at all, i mean, my last long distance relationship wasn't really difficult. and that was coming off a solid 4 year relationship. i could go without seeing brian for months at a time, and i was totally fine. now i realize that the fact that i didn't miss him should have sent off warning signals, but what did i know then?
now with shawn, so many things are different. it hasn't even been a week since i've seen him, and already i miss him so much that it actually hurts. im not used to this, at school we were together all day/night, everyday for months straight. and then we got to spend every weekend together this past month, and we can't this weekend. even though i absolutely love spending time with my friends, just knowing that i can't see him if i wanted to makes me so unbelievably frustrated. and every night i can hear the frustration in his voice and that doesn't make it any easier. i didn't really realize that this was bothering me so much but i just started writing and it all came out. but this is my journal and i guess that's what its for.
i need to snap out of this.
i was doing a lottt of thinking this week about the whole long distance thing. i wasn't expecting this at all, i mean, my last long distance relationship wasn't really difficult. and that was coming off a solid 4 year relationship. i could go without seeing brian for months at a time, and i was totally fine. now i realize that the fact that i didn't miss him should have sent off warning signals, but what did i know then?
now with shawn, so many things are different. it hasn't even been a week since i've seen him, and already i miss him so much that it actually hurts. im not used to this, at school we were together all day/night, everyday for months straight. and then we got to spend every weekend together this past month, and we can't this weekend. even though i absolutely love spending time with my friends, just knowing that i can't see him if i wanted to makes me so unbelievably frustrated. and every night i can hear the frustration in his voice and that doesn't make it any easier. i didn't really realize that this was bothering me so much but i just started writing and it all came out. but this is my journal and i guess that's what its for.
i need to snap out of this.