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[clsgraduate]

I honestly just do not want to grow up.  8 more days until my birthday.  Maybe I just won't turn 18.  I don't have to.  You can't mke me.

*emo*

*angst*

*more angst*

My stepdad is a fucking dick head. FUCK!  So I brought Laura over to say hi to sally and watch a movie.  I should have called ahead but fuck it.  Well my stepdad nicely bitches everyone out

Comments

[maq_moon]

If you recall, I felt the exact same way about turning 20. You'll feel weird and sad about it for a while, but then you just get to the 'who the fuck cares?' point. I just had a moment earlier when I forgot how old I was, then I got weirded out when I remembered I'm 20. These 'landmark' birthdays are overrated, don't you think?
That sharp feeling is good sometimes because it reminds you that you're only human. I get it all the time, but too much can send you into a downward spiral really quickly. Trust me on this; I've had 3 nervous breakdowns and was in the locked ward. People will tell you to just 'get over it' and 'make yourself do blah blah blah', but the only thing that ever helps me is talking it out. Don't bother with books and video games or even going out to the movies- distractions don't make the pain go away. Crying helps sometimes, too.
As for suicidal ideations (that's what they tell me is the technical term), don't bother trying anything. It won't work. It hasn't worked for me and I've been trying for twelve years. Plus, then the government won't let you do things like adopt kids and stuff.
I had no thoughts of half-naked boys until you mentioned it, for your information.
I have a really good therapist; I'll give you her number if you want.

[clsgraduate]

I'm pretty much caught in between wanting to do something amazinglyawesomely cool and just staying at home eating cake.

I don't really consider it. I just think about it. Is there a difference? I dunno. I better get myself in shape if I want to adopt like 30 kids each from different countries like I've been planning.

Thanks Maq *love*

[skieavvi]

Yeah, I think there's a difference, anyways.