empty
Empty.
I know it's quite lame to say this and I know there's probably a million other things I'm feeling but, right now, that's the only word flashing in my mind. Empty. I feel goddamn freaking empty.
I secretly think that's the only reason why I'm working so many days. Because I just can't deal with this emptiness inside. It's honestly not loneliness. Neither is it the need to have people by my side. It's this weird gnawing feeling that keeps getting at me, like everything is a futile attempt, like I'm just not good enough.
I like going out to have fun, I have my regular cravings for booze and loud music and basically to club. And most of the time it's really fun. But it always strike me how empty I tend to feel every time I come back home after another night out. The feeling's indescribable but it leaves me feeling so hollow. Thank god I'm usually too tired to go and feel anything much.
Maybe I just need sleep. I've been severely sleep-deprived since Wednesday and working in the rain and flash flood this morning is giving me an immense headache.
I know it's quite lame to say this and I know there's probably a million other things I'm feeling but, right now, that's the only word flashing in my mind. Empty. I feel goddamn freaking empty.
I secretly think that's the only reason why I'm working so many days. Because I just can't deal with this emptiness inside. It's honestly not loneliness. Neither is it the need to have people by my side. It's this weird gnawing feeling that keeps getting at me, like everything is a futile attempt, like I'm just not good enough.
I like going out to have fun, I have my regular cravings for booze and loud music and basically to club. And most of the time it's really fun. But it always strike me how empty I tend to feel every time I come back home after another night out. The feeling's indescribable but it leaves me feeling so hollow. Thank god I'm usually too tired to go and feel anything much.
Maybe I just need sleep. I've been severely sleep-deprived since Wednesday and working in the rain and flash flood this morning is giving me an immense headache.