(no subject)
hi
where to start i dont even know
so many good things are going on in my life yet at the same time, so many broken people.
life is good. its really good.
i think im at this point in my life where im growing into who i am and discovering who i am all at the same time.
im owning who i am and making no excuses or shame for it.
im learning what it is to love myself.
tim and i are leading the highschoolers in a small group and let me tell you, to be there for these guys is something so precious and special to me. i know this is exactly what God wants to happen. just having them over every sunday just to laugh, share their hearts, and pray with them- i think that hits what god meant when he meant "community". honesty even when its struggling is where true growth starts.
being able to walk spiritually with tim at the same time is speical in itself.
every saturday ashley and i take on the back streets of columbus. let me tell you, being able to spend time with people who have absolutely nothing stirs up something deep in our hearts. i learn so much about Jesus from them- from them in their circumstances. to be able to spend time with the people Jesus would be spending time with makes me fall in love with my savior even more. its hard to put it into words. some of these people "know" who this Jesus man is, but they have addictions that hinder really "knowing". its one thing to know and its another thing to know. get what i mean? part of me wishes that i could live life in their shoes for a while. just to experiance it in its fullness. if i knew what it was to truely be homeless in its full complexity, maybe i would know the means to actually get them out of their circumstances. maybe i would know what to say. but honestly, us going down there isnt what we bring to them. its not what we have to say necisarily. its more the us going down there just to listen to them. to give a few "how are you" words. to ask a couple questions. us going down there and being their friends regardless of how trashed they are is, regardless of what we have in our hands is what speaks more to them. ive developed a passion for speaking for those who dont have a voices. i want to speak up for those people who jesus would be fighting for. i want to provide for those who have nothing. i want to hold the hands of a homeless drunk man in prayer. thats what my hearts been crying out lately. funny how something that the normal american would look at in discust makes me so rich. i dont need "things". i need to be down there on saturdays with my friends. thats where my wealth is.
what else?
Gods been doing a lot of restoring in my life- mainly with my heart. this past year and a half has been such a battle but i can finally say that i can look back upon it and know who i am and how ive been changed through it. gods been restoring not only my heart but relationships that i thought were gone for good. and in that, i know my God can do anything.
orientation was off to a great start last week. i cant even tell you how much fun i had with my team. i love learning about people. i love hearing peoples stories. im so excited for next year. im excited to be there for my girls no matter what the cost. we have a solid class coming in, i can tell you that for sure. cypress 401 gets a little crazy every friday...watch out. plice, brooke, amanda and i are breaking rules right and left. ;) just kidding.
nannyings been going well. i babysit for the two cutest little kids ever. javi's 8 and lucy's 4. although the hours get a little tedious, people would kill for my job so i need to constantly remind myself of that.
there are several people in my life right now who are at absolute brokeness. pray for them if you would. laura yost's mom only has until the end of the week. laura has held onto her hope the whole time her moms been sick, and now shes at a point where she has to look reality in its face. my heart has not left her in the past few days. pray that shes held and that shes able to sense being held. pray for me that God would give me the words as well. words of comfort. my heart was made for those experianceing deep loss. i know thats one of the reasons im here. sometimes i just feel inadequate. but i keep reminding myself its not about the words or the things- but its about just being there. and thats what i want to do. be there.
i was reading in 1 Peter 5 today.
2-4 "Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly not grudgingly- not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Dont lord over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your good example. And when the head Shepherd comes, your reward will be a never-ending share in his glory and honor."
i love that pictuer of when the Shepherd comes...
i want my heart to scream "willing"
where to start i dont even know
so many good things are going on in my life yet at the same time, so many broken people.
life is good. its really good.
i think im at this point in my life where im growing into who i am and discovering who i am all at the same time.
im owning who i am and making no excuses or shame for it.
im learning what it is to love myself.
tim and i are leading the highschoolers in a small group and let me tell you, to be there for these guys is something so precious and special to me. i know this is exactly what God wants to happen. just having them over every sunday just to laugh, share their hearts, and pray with them- i think that hits what god meant when he meant "community". honesty even when its struggling is where true growth starts.
being able to walk spiritually with tim at the same time is speical in itself.
every saturday ashley and i take on the back streets of columbus. let me tell you, being able to spend time with people who have absolutely nothing stirs up something deep in our hearts. i learn so much about Jesus from them- from them in their circumstances. to be able to spend time with the people Jesus would be spending time with makes me fall in love with my savior even more. its hard to put it into words. some of these people "know" who this Jesus man is, but they have addictions that hinder really "knowing". its one thing to know and its another thing to know. get what i mean? part of me wishes that i could live life in their shoes for a while. just to experiance it in its fullness. if i knew what it was to truely be homeless in its full complexity, maybe i would know the means to actually get them out of their circumstances. maybe i would know what to say. but honestly, us going down there isnt what we bring to them. its not what we have to say necisarily. its more the us going down there just to listen to them. to give a few "how are you" words. to ask a couple questions. us going down there and being their friends regardless of how trashed they are is, regardless of what we have in our hands is what speaks more to them. ive developed a passion for speaking for those who dont have a voices. i want to speak up for those people who jesus would be fighting for. i want to provide for those who have nothing. i want to hold the hands of a homeless drunk man in prayer. thats what my hearts been crying out lately. funny how something that the normal american would look at in discust makes me so rich. i dont need "things". i need to be down there on saturdays with my friends. thats where my wealth is.
what else?
Gods been doing a lot of restoring in my life- mainly with my heart. this past year and a half has been such a battle but i can finally say that i can look back upon it and know who i am and how ive been changed through it. gods been restoring not only my heart but relationships that i thought were gone for good. and in that, i know my God can do anything.
orientation was off to a great start last week. i cant even tell you how much fun i had with my team. i love learning about people. i love hearing peoples stories. im so excited for next year. im excited to be there for my girls no matter what the cost. we have a solid class coming in, i can tell you that for sure. cypress 401 gets a little crazy every friday...watch out. plice, brooke, amanda and i are breaking rules right and left. ;) just kidding.
nannyings been going well. i babysit for the two cutest little kids ever. javi's 8 and lucy's 4. although the hours get a little tedious, people would kill for my job so i need to constantly remind myself of that.
there are several people in my life right now who are at absolute brokeness. pray for them if you would. laura yost's mom only has until the end of the week. laura has held onto her hope the whole time her moms been sick, and now shes at a point where she has to look reality in its face. my heart has not left her in the past few days. pray that shes held and that shes able to sense being held. pray for me that God would give me the words as well. words of comfort. my heart was made for those experianceing deep loss. i know thats one of the reasons im here. sometimes i just feel inadequate. but i keep reminding myself its not about the words or the things- but its about just being there. and thats what i want to do. be there.
i was reading in 1 Peter 5 today.
2-4 "Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly not grudgingly- not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. Dont lord over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your good example. And when the head Shepherd comes, your reward will be a never-ending share in his glory and honor."
i love that pictuer of when the Shepherd comes...
i want my heart to scream "willing"