Sudden disassociation with a long felt sense of guilt and self-loathing.

[clownshit]

I'm not sure why I've been acting this way
It's been so long, what more could I say?
I've been the bad guy that you've always despised
Every truth I've told, you've called a fucking lie
If I ever blamed you, It was me who'd gone too far
If you ever blamed me, It was me who'd pushed too hard

For everything you ever accused me of
To everyone you've ever told fuck off
For everytime you've said just because
Try and count the friendships that you've lost

I'm not sure if it was ever me at all
It's been so long since you watched me fall
I'm not a bad guy and I don't believe you anymore
Every truth I ever told, I held back from telling more
It was not my intent to hurt you or ever cause you pain
I chose to make that sacrifice, a choice I made in vain

For everything you ever accused me of
To everyone you've ever told fuck off
For everytime you've said just because
Try and count the friendships that you've lost

I was never to blame
I was never to blame
I was never to blame
I was never to blame

Hrmmm. I feel like I've just fully woken up after being semi-conscious for the past 6 years. Half the things I'd blamed myself for weren't my fault, and the other half I'd already taken responsibility for.

So. If anyone else has any shit to dump on me, get fucked. I'm not a dumping ground anymore.

This feels fantastic.