Heart's Desire - Chapter 19
Fandom: Supernatural
Title: Heart’s Desire
Chapter: 19/23
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Author's Notes: Thanks to VegasGranny and Ncsupnatfan for pre-reading.
Summary: Jack wants to help Sam after overhearing a nightmare which results in a rift being opened. Jessica is brought from a world in which Lilith was never killed and now she and the demons reign while they work to break Sam in Hell. Unable to leave her to that life and pain, Sam and his family go to her world to save it.
Chapter Nineteen
Dean woke feeling rested and he checked his watch to see how long he’d slept. It had been eight hours which surprised him. He thought John would have been awake long before now, raring to go. The only explanation was that Sam was still sleeping, too, and therefore they’d left John to sleep.
He got out of bed and made his way straight to the bathroom where he relieved himself and then washed up, splashing his face with cool water and drying it with a rough towel. It felt strange to be in the ‘first’ version of the bunker again and to have all the same small differences to the one he lived in, like the towel; soon after they’d settled in, Sam had gone out and bought new towels and washcloths, saying he didn’t want to dry his face with a fifty-year-old towel that was last used by a dead man. Dean thought he was being stupid, precious, but he had to admit the new towels were softer and, after Sam started washing them with that fancy softener, they smelled much nicer.
They were all things this version of his family were going to need to do, though it would probably take them longer as they were going to be dealing with John’s death for a while.
He wondered how they were going to handle it. This version of Dean seemed so hard, a warrior in a way Dean hadn’t been since he’d had the Mark. Would he allow himself to grieve for his father, to feel it, or was he so accustomed to loss and death in this world that he could handle it?
Dean suspected that, if he did let himself feel it, he would bury it as much as possible to come out in nightmares and heavy drinking sessions?
That was what he would do if it was him.
Sam was an unknown. He hadn’t lived the same long years the way John, Dean and Jessica had. He’d been through worse, but he wouldn’t remember that. For him, he would be picking up from the moment he went to that church with Ruby to kill Lilith. He would be in a new world, though a more peaceful one when Hell was sealed, with the woman and brother he loved, but he would lose his father. If he was like Dean’s Sam, he was going to feel it and feel it hard and openly. Dean supposed Jessica would comfort him, but he didn’t think the other Dean would be much help.
Dean could never help his Sam like that when it was needed.
He’d been useless after Jessica died and he hadn’t been a support at all after John as he’d been so twisted by his own guilt and grief. When Bobby died, they both struggled but privately. Sam was also dealing with Lucifer in his head and Dean with the loss of Bobby and Castiel, and the constant worry about what was happening to his brother.
It was good that this Sam had Jessica to help him.
It was Dean’s own Sam that he was worried about. When they went back to their world, a more peaceful one than they’d ever had before with Michael dead, he was going back with the memory of having and losing the woman he loved. His only thought was that he could surround himself with family and friends, get Mary back to the bunker, and let the fact they were together do what it could for him.
He wandered out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen in search of coffee. The other Castiel was in the library, staring into the distance in a way that made Dean think he was tuned into angel radio. Dean nodded to him and then went to the kitchen where he found his own Castiel with Jack.
They both greeted him and answered his inquires of why Jack had left his post guarding Sam with a simple, “He’s awake.”
“Really? That’s great. How’s he doing?”
Jack shrugged. “He sounded okay, but I didn’t see him. He’s with John and Dean. Jessica has just taken them coffee. I didn’t stay to listen to them. Castiel and I will sense any attack coming and be able to defend him.”
“Defend us all,” Castiel said. “If they come for Sam, they might leave this world’s Dean alive as Michael’s vessel, but they will have no need for anyone else. None of us are safe apart from you, Jack.”
“Yeah,” Dean said thoughtfully. “That’s a good point. I didn’t think of that.”
He’d been more worried about getting the trial done before Billie dragged them away and his concern for his brother. He saw now that if the demons came for Sam, they were all in danger. Jack would defend them from regular demons, but Lilith would be a complication as they couldn’t let her die.
“I’ll protect everyone,” Jack said.
Dean acknowledged his words with a nod and then poured himself a mug of coffee and sipped it. It was bitter and he guessed it was the same stock he and Sam had found when they’d arrived here in their world. That meant there was no food either, and his stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten in days, though most of that time he’d been in Hell and Purgatory where hunger wasn’t an issue. He could get out now, head into town and get some supplies for them, but he thought it was better to be close when John was ready, and if Sam was awake now, that would be soon.
“Cas, can you head into town and get some stuff for us?” he asked. “We need food, decent coffee, and bathroom basics. Don’t go crazy with the food. None of us are going to stop to cook. Just some cereal and stuff like that. And get some fruit. If this Sam is as nuts as ours, he’d going to want that crap.”
Jack laughed softly and Castiel said, “Of course. I will go now.”
Dean topped up his coffee and said, “I’ll get you some money.”
He walked back into the library where he was surprised to see John sitting at a table. He was pale and his eyes shadowed. The damage from the trials had stepped up a notch in the night, just like they had when Sam had been doing them.
“Hey,” Dean said. “How are you feeling?”
John ignored the question and said, “We need to start.”
“We will,” Dean said, glancing over his shoulder as Castiel and Jack came in. “Cas needs some money though. He’s headed into town to get some supplies for us. The trial will take eight hours, and none of us have eaten in a while. You’re going to need to keep your strength up especially.”
John nodded and said, “Dean’s got most of the money we’ve got. I’ll get it off him when he gets here. He’s just cleaning up. Get whatever you need. Add in some fruit, apples and stuff, for Sammy. He’s not as big on road food as the rest of us.”
“How’s he doing?” Dean asked.
“He’s confused as all hell, freaked out by the fact he’s jumped ahead over ten years, struggling with the difference in us, and kinda weirded out that you guys are here.”
John looked over his shoulder and his grim face became a smile as footsteps came from behind them and Sam and Jessica came in followed by Dean dressed in fresh clothes. Sam was still in the sweats and t-shirt he’d been wearing in the hospital. This world’s Castiel followed in their wake, coming to a stop just inside the library as they entered deeper, making himself an observer, not a participant.
“Hey, Sam,” Dean said awkwardly, raising a hand in greeting. “Good to see you awake.”
Sam stared at him a moment, his brow furrowed. “Hearing about it and seeing it properly are not the same thing.” He looked between Dean and the version of his brother of this world and said, “It’s so weird.”
The other Dean rubbed at the skin below his eye patch and said, “At least you can tell us apart.”
Sam grimaced. “Yeah, and I hate that. You said this Cas can heal. Why haven’t you had him fix it yet?”
“I’ve offered,” Castiel said, coming into the room. “He refused.”
“Why?” Sam asked, and when his brother just shrugged, he said, “Do it, Dean. It’s bad enough that you all look so different to the way you should, but that’s just stupid. Don’t you want to see properly?”
“It really doesn’t matter, Sammy,” he replied.
“It does,” Sam said forcefully, a grit of the Sam Dean knew in his voice-he was pissed. “It was her that took it from you, I remember that much. Don’t carry part of what she did around with you.”
Dean sighed and looked at Castiel. “Go on then. Get it done with.”
Castiel walked forwards and raised a hand. Dean pulled back his head an inch and then forced himself to still as Castiel pressed his hand to his temple. The was a rush of light and Dean winced and then Castiel was stepping back. “It’s done.”
The other Dean slowly removed his patch, blinking rapidly and looking around, and then huffed a laugh. “That’s weird. I have peripheral vision again.”
Sam smiled. “Good.”
Dean tried to examine him without being obvious about it. He could see the differences in this Sam to his brother. This Sam seemed younger, even though his face was as aged as his own. It was the eyes. He was missing years that Dean’s Sam carried. All the things his Sam had seen were there in a shadow that showed unless he was laughing. This Sam’s darkness didn’t have the same depth. He didn’t have that same trauma in his memories. His had been walled away.
“Castiel needs money, Dean,” John said. “He’s going on a supply run.”
Dean took his wallet from his pocket and then hesitated before looking and John and saying, “Which one?”
“Me,” Dean’s Castiel said, raising a hand and then catching the wallet when Dean threw it to him.
“Anyone want anything special?” John asked.
Sam looked hopeful. “Maybe some apples. Can you get apples still?”
“Yes,” Jessica said, squeezing his hand. “Most things are the same, Sam. It’s just the demons’ presence and everyone’s awareness of them that are different.”
“And the people they massacre,” Sam murmured.
Her smile faded a moment and then she looked back at Sam and smiled again. It seemed impossible for her to hide her joy at being with him again. Dean was glad his brother wasn’t there to see it. This was how she looked when she’d been with him in their world, and Dean knew what that had meant to Sam. If he saw this now, he was going to hurt even more. Though maybe he could already see it in his head and that was why he wasn’t here now.
“Apples then,” Sam said.
Castiel nodded and made his way through the war room. Dean heard his footsteps on the stairs and then the creak and clang of the door opening and closing.
John got to his feet, wavered a moment and planted his hands on the table to steady himself, and then said, “Okay. It’s time. How do we do this cure?”
“We need a demon first,” Dean said.
“Ruby,” Jessica said, a growl in her voice.
Sam frowned. “Ruby’s still around? I figured she’d be dead after the whole…” he trailed off and then murmured, “…blood thing.”
“It came close,” John said. “But we decided to keep her around and use her.”
“Only it wasn’t us using her,” the other Dean growled, then seeing his brother’s blank look, he went on, “She’s been working for Lilith, Sammy, since the very beginning. She wants the apocalypse. She’s never been on our side.”
Sam gaped. “I can’t believe it.”
“I can,” Jessica said bitterly. “I don’t know why we didn’t see it before.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” John said. “We’ll get her here and she can be the one we cure. As soon as that’s done, you can all have your revenge on her. It’ll hurt a human much more than a demon.”
The other Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “We’ll make sure of it.”
John nodded and said, “What else do we need?”
“Blood,” Dean said. “We need to lock her down and you have to inject her with blood every hour for eight hours. When she’s had the last dose, you need to give her a bloody-fist sandwich to the mouth and say the right Latin. I’ll write it down for you.”
“Sounds simple enough,” John said.
“It is basically. Only other thing is that your blood has got to be purified first. You’ve got to confess.”
The other Dean huffed a laugh and John shot him a sharp look.
“I can do that,” John said darkly. “Do I have to do it with the full priest thing, or can I do it some other way? I don’t want to delay it.”
“No,” the other Castiel said. “A confession is a conversation between you and God. The priest is just the conduit for the prayer. You can do it anywhere at any time. Forgiveness will come.”
Dean could have pointed out the stupidity of that, the fact that God wasn’t paying a damn bit of attention or offering up forgiveness, but what was the point? They needed to believe this would work or the confession might not do the job. He thought it had only worked for Sam as he’d never really given up his faith when he’d confessed. He was still a believer, just in a God he knew wasn’t paying attention properly.
“I’ll go do that then,” John said. “Dean… Deans, I guess… get a demon summoning ready. Jess, prepare this place to lock down a demon.”
“We can do it in here,” Dean said, thinking that for them all to cram into the dungeon was going to make what was going to be an uncomfortable experience a whole lot worse. “We’ve got warded cuffs in the dungeon and there’s a devil’s trap there already. It’s the best place to do it. I’ll make sure it’s all there.”
He wandered away, thinking that he would put a call into Sam when he was alone somewhere, just to check in, see how far he’d got and to remind him he needed to rest, too. To hopefully not need to discuss Jessica and what was happening here.
xXx
Dean walked into the library and stopped as he recognized the raised voices from the center of the room.
John and Sam were standing a foot apart and arguing. John’s face was angry and he said, “No, Sam!”
“Yes!” Sam replied just as forcefully. “I’m staying.”
The other Dean walked into the room and positioned himself at Sam’s side, just as Dean would have if it had been his Sam, and said, “What’s going on?”
“Dad doesn’t want me here when Ruby comes,” Sam said.
“It’s not safe,” John said.
Sam laughed harshly. “When are our lives ever safe?”
“This is different,” John said. “You don’t remember what happened to you, but we do. Sammy, you were gone for years, and it’s partly because of that bitch. I don’t want you anywhere near her.”
“She can’t hurt me if she’s trapped,” Sam said, his tone reasonable at first then it became skeptical as he asked, “Or is this about what I might do? You think I might slip up and let her free to help me kill Lilith? You think I’ve been brainwashed?”
John didn’t speak which was an answer in itself.
The other Dean turned him slightly so he could look into his face, “Look, Sammy, none of us want to think it, but you were gone a long time. We don’t know everything that happened to you apart from the fact they tortured you since Dad heard that happening when they got you out.”
“I don’t feel like I’ve been brainwashed,” Sam said.
Jessica straightened up and took his hand, “Baby, you wouldn’t know. I’m sorry, and it’s not that I don’t trust you, we all do, but anything could happen.”
Sam frowned. “That sounds like distrust to me.”
Her face fell. “No. It’s just we’re scared. And we don’t want you to have to be around the bitch that did all that damage. If she’d had her way, the apocalypse would have started. And if she knows what happened to you there, she might talk about it, taunt you. We don’t know how that wall works. Maybe the wrong word can make it crack.”
Dean cleared his throat. “She’s got a point, Sam. My Sam had a wall, too, protecting him from his own Hell, and we went to some place he’d been before and it triggered these memories. He was out about five minutes, but for him it felt like weeks. You don’t want that.”
Sam crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at his father. “This is going to kill you, Dad. I get that you have to do it and I understand why, but you can’t expect me to sit it out. I won’t leave you to die alone.”
“I won’t be alone,” John said, his tone kind and consoling in a way Dean rarely heard from his own father.
“You won’t,” Sam agreed. “I’ll be with you.”
“How about this,” Dean said, processing the idea in his mind and deciding it was the best option. “Sam sits the cure out until the end. He can be there for the last dose and the spell. Ruby is going to be in no position to taunt by then, I promise. She’s going to be too screwed up. He can be there for what he needs, but he’s not there for the dangerous part of it.”
“Sounds fair,” Jessica said. “Right, Baby?”
Sam nodded stiffly. “Fine. But you make sure I’m there when I need to be.”
“I’ll make sure,” his own Dean said.
Sam stared at him for a moment, seeming to be searching for the lie, and then he said, “I guess I’ll be in my room then,” and stomped out.
It was a strangely familiar scene, Sam annoyed and acting like a teenager, and it made Dean smile.
“I’ll be with him,” Jessica said.
“I’ll come when I can,” the other Dean said.
She nodded and followed Sam along the hall.
“Jack,” Dean said. “Can you stay close to them? I’ll send Cas along when he gets back.”
“Okay,” Jack said.
When he was gone, Dean set the box down on the table and began to unpack the supplies he’d bought with him. He handed the cuffs to the other Castiel and said, “You’ll need to get these on her when she arrives.” He threw the ropes to the other Dean and said, “And tie her down tight.”
The other Dean nodded and carried a chair into the middle of the trap and set it down.
“You ready, John?” Dean asked.
“Yes. I did the confession thing.”
“Then let’s get ready,” Dean said.
They went to the dungeon where John went to the table and picked up the syringes Dean had brought from the lab and said, “How much blood?”
“Just one injection each hour but make it a good one. It’s the blood that does it as far as I can tell.” He was thinking of Crowley and how he’d dragged himself to near-humanity for the emotions of it when he’d been a junkie.
He tipped the required ingredients he’d gathered into the bowl and cut across his hand and dripped it into the bowl then said, “Be ready,” as he lit a match and held it over the bowl then dropped it in as he recited, “Ad construgendum ad ligandum eos pariter Et solvendum. Et ad congregantum eos coram me.”
Fire and smoke rose from the bowl and then a very familiar voice said, “Thank you for finally thinking of… Hey! What are you doing?”
Castiel had pinned her and cuffed her hands in front of her and the other Dean was helping him to shove her into the chair and wrap the ropes around her chest.
“What are you… Dean? Your eye!”
Dean cleared his throat and said, “That’s Deans plural, bitch.”
She looked at them, turning from face to face, and Dean saw the spark of amusement in her eyes before she frowned and said, “I don’t understand. How is this possible? What are you doing?”
“You can give up the act,” John growled. “We know what you’re doing. You betrayed us.”
“Never!” Ruby said. “I’ve given up everything to help you.”
“Everything but Lilith, right?” the other Dean asked.
“Lilith? I have been trying to stop Lilith for years!”
“No,” Dean growled. “You haven’t. They know exactly what you’ve been doing thanks to me, and they’re going to make you pay for it. Well, John is. You ready?”
John nodded and clenched a fist and he jabbed the needle into the vein standing out on his arm and drew up the blood.
“What are you doing, John?” Ruby asked.
John didn’t answer at once. He slapped her cheek so her head snapped to the side and jammed the needle into the side of her neck and pressed down on the plunger. When the blood was gone, he pulled it out and threw the needle away then grabbed her chin and lifted it so she was looking directly at him.
“What I’m doing is curing you. And then, when you’re human, I’m going to save the world.”
Ruby's eyes were wide and afraid, but Dean still thought he saw something in them that didn’t match the way she was acting. She knew something. Perhaps she knew Sam was out and that there was another kidnap planned.
Whatever it was, it was going to fail. They had Jack to protect them and they had John to cure her and complete the trials.
In eight hours, it was all going to be over.
Title: Heart’s Desire
Chapter: 19/23
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Author's Notes: Thanks to VegasGranny and Ncsupnatfan for pre-reading.
Summary: Jack wants to help Sam after overhearing a nightmare which results in a rift being opened. Jessica is brought from a world in which Lilith was never killed and now she and the demons reign while they work to break Sam in Hell. Unable to leave her to that life and pain, Sam and his family go to her world to save it.
Chapter Nineteen
Dean woke feeling rested and he checked his watch to see how long he’d slept. It had been eight hours which surprised him. He thought John would have been awake long before now, raring to go. The only explanation was that Sam was still sleeping, too, and therefore they’d left John to sleep.
He got out of bed and made his way straight to the bathroom where he relieved himself and then washed up, splashing his face with cool water and drying it with a rough towel. It felt strange to be in the ‘first’ version of the bunker again and to have all the same small differences to the one he lived in, like the towel; soon after they’d settled in, Sam had gone out and bought new towels and washcloths, saying he didn’t want to dry his face with a fifty-year-old towel that was last used by a dead man. Dean thought he was being stupid, precious, but he had to admit the new towels were softer and, after Sam started washing them with that fancy softener, they smelled much nicer.
They were all things this version of his family were going to need to do, though it would probably take them longer as they were going to be dealing with John’s death for a while.
He wondered how they were going to handle it. This version of Dean seemed so hard, a warrior in a way Dean hadn’t been since he’d had the Mark. Would he allow himself to grieve for his father, to feel it, or was he so accustomed to loss and death in this world that he could handle it?
Dean suspected that, if he did let himself feel it, he would bury it as much as possible to come out in nightmares and heavy drinking sessions?
That was what he would do if it was him.
Sam was an unknown. He hadn’t lived the same long years the way John, Dean and Jessica had. He’d been through worse, but he wouldn’t remember that. For him, he would be picking up from the moment he went to that church with Ruby to kill Lilith. He would be in a new world, though a more peaceful one when Hell was sealed, with the woman and brother he loved, but he would lose his father. If he was like Dean’s Sam, he was going to feel it and feel it hard and openly. Dean supposed Jessica would comfort him, but he didn’t think the other Dean would be much help.
Dean could never help his Sam like that when it was needed.
He’d been useless after Jessica died and he hadn’t been a support at all after John as he’d been so twisted by his own guilt and grief. When Bobby died, they both struggled but privately. Sam was also dealing with Lucifer in his head and Dean with the loss of Bobby and Castiel, and the constant worry about what was happening to his brother.
It was good that this Sam had Jessica to help him.
It was Dean’s own Sam that he was worried about. When they went back to their world, a more peaceful one than they’d ever had before with Michael dead, he was going back with the memory of having and losing the woman he loved. His only thought was that he could surround himself with family and friends, get Mary back to the bunker, and let the fact they were together do what it could for him.
He wandered out of the bathroom and went to the kitchen in search of coffee. The other Castiel was in the library, staring into the distance in a way that made Dean think he was tuned into angel radio. Dean nodded to him and then went to the kitchen where he found his own Castiel with Jack.
They both greeted him and answered his inquires of why Jack had left his post guarding Sam with a simple, “He’s awake.”
“Really? That’s great. How’s he doing?”
Jack shrugged. “He sounded okay, but I didn’t see him. He’s with John and Dean. Jessica has just taken them coffee. I didn’t stay to listen to them. Castiel and I will sense any attack coming and be able to defend him.”
“Defend us all,” Castiel said. “If they come for Sam, they might leave this world’s Dean alive as Michael’s vessel, but they will have no need for anyone else. None of us are safe apart from you, Jack.”
“Yeah,” Dean said thoughtfully. “That’s a good point. I didn’t think of that.”
He’d been more worried about getting the trial done before Billie dragged them away and his concern for his brother. He saw now that if the demons came for Sam, they were all in danger. Jack would defend them from regular demons, but Lilith would be a complication as they couldn’t let her die.
“I’ll protect everyone,” Jack said.
Dean acknowledged his words with a nod and then poured himself a mug of coffee and sipped it. It was bitter and he guessed it was the same stock he and Sam had found when they’d arrived here in their world. That meant there was no food either, and his stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten in days, though most of that time he’d been in Hell and Purgatory where hunger wasn’t an issue. He could get out now, head into town and get some supplies for them, but he thought it was better to be close when John was ready, and if Sam was awake now, that would be soon.
“Cas, can you head into town and get some stuff for us?” he asked. “We need food, decent coffee, and bathroom basics. Don’t go crazy with the food. None of us are going to stop to cook. Just some cereal and stuff like that. And get some fruit. If this Sam is as nuts as ours, he’d going to want that crap.”
Jack laughed softly and Castiel said, “Of course. I will go now.”
Dean topped up his coffee and said, “I’ll get you some money.”
He walked back into the library where he was surprised to see John sitting at a table. He was pale and his eyes shadowed. The damage from the trials had stepped up a notch in the night, just like they had when Sam had been doing them.
“Hey,” Dean said. “How are you feeling?”
John ignored the question and said, “We need to start.”
“We will,” Dean said, glancing over his shoulder as Castiel and Jack came in. “Cas needs some money though. He’s headed into town to get some supplies for us. The trial will take eight hours, and none of us have eaten in a while. You’re going to need to keep your strength up especially.”
John nodded and said, “Dean’s got most of the money we’ve got. I’ll get it off him when he gets here. He’s just cleaning up. Get whatever you need. Add in some fruit, apples and stuff, for Sammy. He’s not as big on road food as the rest of us.”
“How’s he doing?” Dean asked.
“He’s confused as all hell, freaked out by the fact he’s jumped ahead over ten years, struggling with the difference in us, and kinda weirded out that you guys are here.”
John looked over his shoulder and his grim face became a smile as footsteps came from behind them and Sam and Jessica came in followed by Dean dressed in fresh clothes. Sam was still in the sweats and t-shirt he’d been wearing in the hospital. This world’s Castiel followed in their wake, coming to a stop just inside the library as they entered deeper, making himself an observer, not a participant.
“Hey, Sam,” Dean said awkwardly, raising a hand in greeting. “Good to see you awake.”
Sam stared at him a moment, his brow furrowed. “Hearing about it and seeing it properly are not the same thing.” He looked between Dean and the version of his brother of this world and said, “It’s so weird.”
The other Dean rubbed at the skin below his eye patch and said, “At least you can tell us apart.”
Sam grimaced. “Yeah, and I hate that. You said this Cas can heal. Why haven’t you had him fix it yet?”
“I’ve offered,” Castiel said, coming into the room. “He refused.”
“Why?” Sam asked, and when his brother just shrugged, he said, “Do it, Dean. It’s bad enough that you all look so different to the way you should, but that’s just stupid. Don’t you want to see properly?”
“It really doesn’t matter, Sammy,” he replied.
“It does,” Sam said forcefully, a grit of the Sam Dean knew in his voice-he was pissed. “It was her that took it from you, I remember that much. Don’t carry part of what she did around with you.”
Dean sighed and looked at Castiel. “Go on then. Get it done with.”
Castiel walked forwards and raised a hand. Dean pulled back his head an inch and then forced himself to still as Castiel pressed his hand to his temple. The was a rush of light and Dean winced and then Castiel was stepping back. “It’s done.”
The other Dean slowly removed his patch, blinking rapidly and looking around, and then huffed a laugh. “That’s weird. I have peripheral vision again.”
Sam smiled. “Good.”
Dean tried to examine him without being obvious about it. He could see the differences in this Sam to his brother. This Sam seemed younger, even though his face was as aged as his own. It was the eyes. He was missing years that Dean’s Sam carried. All the things his Sam had seen were there in a shadow that showed unless he was laughing. This Sam’s darkness didn’t have the same depth. He didn’t have that same trauma in his memories. His had been walled away.
“Castiel needs money, Dean,” John said. “He’s going on a supply run.”
Dean took his wallet from his pocket and then hesitated before looking and John and saying, “Which one?”
“Me,” Dean’s Castiel said, raising a hand and then catching the wallet when Dean threw it to him.
“Anyone want anything special?” John asked.
Sam looked hopeful. “Maybe some apples. Can you get apples still?”
“Yes,” Jessica said, squeezing his hand. “Most things are the same, Sam. It’s just the demons’ presence and everyone’s awareness of them that are different.”
“And the people they massacre,” Sam murmured.
Her smile faded a moment and then she looked back at Sam and smiled again. It seemed impossible for her to hide her joy at being with him again. Dean was glad his brother wasn’t there to see it. This was how she looked when she’d been with him in their world, and Dean knew what that had meant to Sam. If he saw this now, he was going to hurt even more. Though maybe he could already see it in his head and that was why he wasn’t here now.
“Apples then,” Sam said.
Castiel nodded and made his way through the war room. Dean heard his footsteps on the stairs and then the creak and clang of the door opening and closing.
John got to his feet, wavered a moment and planted his hands on the table to steady himself, and then said, “Okay. It’s time. How do we do this cure?”
“We need a demon first,” Dean said.
“Ruby,” Jessica said, a growl in her voice.
Sam frowned. “Ruby’s still around? I figured she’d be dead after the whole…” he trailed off and then murmured, “…blood thing.”
“It came close,” John said. “But we decided to keep her around and use her.”
“Only it wasn’t us using her,” the other Dean growled, then seeing his brother’s blank look, he went on, “She’s been working for Lilith, Sammy, since the very beginning. She wants the apocalypse. She’s never been on our side.”
Sam gaped. “I can’t believe it.”
“I can,” Jessica said bitterly. “I don’t know why we didn’t see it before.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” John said. “We’ll get her here and she can be the one we cure. As soon as that’s done, you can all have your revenge on her. It’ll hurt a human much more than a demon.”
The other Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “We’ll make sure of it.”
John nodded and said, “What else do we need?”
“Blood,” Dean said. “We need to lock her down and you have to inject her with blood every hour for eight hours. When she’s had the last dose, you need to give her a bloody-fist sandwich to the mouth and say the right Latin. I’ll write it down for you.”
“Sounds simple enough,” John said.
“It is basically. Only other thing is that your blood has got to be purified first. You’ve got to confess.”
The other Dean huffed a laugh and John shot him a sharp look.
“I can do that,” John said darkly. “Do I have to do it with the full priest thing, or can I do it some other way? I don’t want to delay it.”
“No,” the other Castiel said. “A confession is a conversation between you and God. The priest is just the conduit for the prayer. You can do it anywhere at any time. Forgiveness will come.”
Dean could have pointed out the stupidity of that, the fact that God wasn’t paying a damn bit of attention or offering up forgiveness, but what was the point? They needed to believe this would work or the confession might not do the job. He thought it had only worked for Sam as he’d never really given up his faith when he’d confessed. He was still a believer, just in a God he knew wasn’t paying attention properly.
“I’ll go do that then,” John said. “Dean… Deans, I guess… get a demon summoning ready. Jess, prepare this place to lock down a demon.”
“We can do it in here,” Dean said, thinking that for them all to cram into the dungeon was going to make what was going to be an uncomfortable experience a whole lot worse. “We’ve got warded cuffs in the dungeon and there’s a devil’s trap there already. It’s the best place to do it. I’ll make sure it’s all there.”
He wandered away, thinking that he would put a call into Sam when he was alone somewhere, just to check in, see how far he’d got and to remind him he needed to rest, too. To hopefully not need to discuss Jessica and what was happening here.
xXx
Dean walked into the library and stopped as he recognized the raised voices from the center of the room.
John and Sam were standing a foot apart and arguing. John’s face was angry and he said, “No, Sam!”
“Yes!” Sam replied just as forcefully. “I’m staying.”
The other Dean walked into the room and positioned himself at Sam’s side, just as Dean would have if it had been his Sam, and said, “What’s going on?”
“Dad doesn’t want me here when Ruby comes,” Sam said.
“It’s not safe,” John said.
Sam laughed harshly. “When are our lives ever safe?”
“This is different,” John said. “You don’t remember what happened to you, but we do. Sammy, you were gone for years, and it’s partly because of that bitch. I don’t want you anywhere near her.”
“She can’t hurt me if she’s trapped,” Sam said, his tone reasonable at first then it became skeptical as he asked, “Or is this about what I might do? You think I might slip up and let her free to help me kill Lilith? You think I’ve been brainwashed?”
John didn’t speak which was an answer in itself.
The other Dean turned him slightly so he could look into his face, “Look, Sammy, none of us want to think it, but you were gone a long time. We don’t know everything that happened to you apart from the fact they tortured you since Dad heard that happening when they got you out.”
“I don’t feel like I’ve been brainwashed,” Sam said.
Jessica straightened up and took his hand, “Baby, you wouldn’t know. I’m sorry, and it’s not that I don’t trust you, we all do, but anything could happen.”
Sam frowned. “That sounds like distrust to me.”
Her face fell. “No. It’s just we’re scared. And we don’t want you to have to be around the bitch that did all that damage. If she’d had her way, the apocalypse would have started. And if she knows what happened to you there, she might talk about it, taunt you. We don’t know how that wall works. Maybe the wrong word can make it crack.”
Dean cleared his throat. “She’s got a point, Sam. My Sam had a wall, too, protecting him from his own Hell, and we went to some place he’d been before and it triggered these memories. He was out about five minutes, but for him it felt like weeks. You don’t want that.”
Sam crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at his father. “This is going to kill you, Dad. I get that you have to do it and I understand why, but you can’t expect me to sit it out. I won’t leave you to die alone.”
“I won’t be alone,” John said, his tone kind and consoling in a way Dean rarely heard from his own father.
“You won’t,” Sam agreed. “I’ll be with you.”
“How about this,” Dean said, processing the idea in his mind and deciding it was the best option. “Sam sits the cure out until the end. He can be there for the last dose and the spell. Ruby is going to be in no position to taunt by then, I promise. She’s going to be too screwed up. He can be there for what he needs, but he’s not there for the dangerous part of it.”
“Sounds fair,” Jessica said. “Right, Baby?”
Sam nodded stiffly. “Fine. But you make sure I’m there when I need to be.”
“I’ll make sure,” his own Dean said.
Sam stared at him for a moment, seeming to be searching for the lie, and then he said, “I guess I’ll be in my room then,” and stomped out.
It was a strangely familiar scene, Sam annoyed and acting like a teenager, and it made Dean smile.
“I’ll be with him,” Jessica said.
“I’ll come when I can,” the other Dean said.
She nodded and followed Sam along the hall.
“Jack,” Dean said. “Can you stay close to them? I’ll send Cas along when he gets back.”
“Okay,” Jack said.
When he was gone, Dean set the box down on the table and began to unpack the supplies he’d bought with him. He handed the cuffs to the other Castiel and said, “You’ll need to get these on her when she arrives.” He threw the ropes to the other Dean and said, “And tie her down tight.”
The other Dean nodded and carried a chair into the middle of the trap and set it down.
“You ready, John?” Dean asked.
“Yes. I did the confession thing.”
“Then let’s get ready,” Dean said.
They went to the dungeon where John went to the table and picked up the syringes Dean had brought from the lab and said, “How much blood?”
“Just one injection each hour but make it a good one. It’s the blood that does it as far as I can tell.” He was thinking of Crowley and how he’d dragged himself to near-humanity for the emotions of it when he’d been a junkie.
He tipped the required ingredients he’d gathered into the bowl and cut across his hand and dripped it into the bowl then said, “Be ready,” as he lit a match and held it over the bowl then dropped it in as he recited, “Ad construgendum ad ligandum eos pariter Et solvendum. Et ad congregantum eos coram me.”
Fire and smoke rose from the bowl and then a very familiar voice said, “Thank you for finally thinking of… Hey! What are you doing?”
Castiel had pinned her and cuffed her hands in front of her and the other Dean was helping him to shove her into the chair and wrap the ropes around her chest.
“What are you… Dean? Your eye!”
Dean cleared his throat and said, “That’s Deans plural, bitch.”
She looked at them, turning from face to face, and Dean saw the spark of amusement in her eyes before she frowned and said, “I don’t understand. How is this possible? What are you doing?”
“You can give up the act,” John growled. “We know what you’re doing. You betrayed us.”
“Never!” Ruby said. “I’ve given up everything to help you.”
“Everything but Lilith, right?” the other Dean asked.
“Lilith? I have been trying to stop Lilith for years!”
“No,” Dean growled. “You haven’t. They know exactly what you’ve been doing thanks to me, and they’re going to make you pay for it. Well, John is. You ready?”
John nodded and clenched a fist and he jabbed the needle into the vein standing out on his arm and drew up the blood.
“What are you doing, John?” Ruby asked.
John didn’t answer at once. He slapped her cheek so her head snapped to the side and jammed the needle into the side of her neck and pressed down on the plunger. When the blood was gone, he pulled it out and threw the needle away then grabbed her chin and lifted it so she was looking directly at him.
“What I’m doing is curing you. And then, when you’re human, I’m going to save the world.”
Ruby's eyes were wide and afraid, but Dean still thought he saw something in them that didn’t match the way she was acting. She knew something. Perhaps she knew Sam was out and that there was another kidnap planned.
Whatever it was, it was going to fail. They had Jack to protect them and they had John to cure her and complete the trials.
In eight hours, it was all going to be over.