Heart's Desire - Chapter 12
Fandom: Supernatural
Title: Heart’s Desire
Chapter: 12/23
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Author's Notes: Thanks to VegasGranny and Ncsupnatfan for pre-reading.
Summary: Jack wants to help Sam after overhearing a nightmare which results in a rift being opened. Jessica is brought from a world in which Lilith was never killed and now she and the demons reign while they work to break Sam in Hell. Unable to leave her to that life and pain, Sam and his family go to her world to save it.
Chapter Twelve
Sam let himself into the dimly lit room and looked between the two beds. Dean was lying on one on his back, his arms at his sides and his face peaceful. It looked as though he hadn’t stirred since Castiel had settled him here. John’s position was more torqued, as if he’d been tossing and turning, perhaps with nightmares.
He had come in to check on Dean only, planning to return to Jessica’s room and the others when he was sure Dean was okay, but the sight of the blood-soaked clothing that Dean had been wearing when they’d parted, tossed into the corner and his brother in clothes that didn’t belong to him, made him reluctant to leave him again.
He’d known Dean being there for the first trial was dangerous, that he could be hurt, but knowing and seeing how bad it had been were two very different things. At least it wasn’t Dean that had completed the trial. Castiel said John had done it alone and that his body was already showing the first signs of the same changes Sam had undergone on a molecular level.
It had started.
Dean stirred and opened his eyes. He blinked blearily up at Sam and said, “You watching me sleep, creeper?” He pushed himself upright, looked at John in the other bed and frowned. “Why am I sleeping at all?”
“Cas helped. You both lost a lot of blood and neither of you were willing to rest.”
Dean glowered. “He put me out! That asshole.”
“He was worried about you both. He could sense how bad it was and figured the best thing you could do was sleep awhile.”
“I’m still kicking his ass for it,” Dean grumbled.
Sam shrugged. “I guess you can try. How are you feeling?”
Dean rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms above him. “Not bad. I’m hungry.”
“We’ve got juice and cookies next door from the vending machine,” Sam said. “And I’ll go out and get you something decent when you’ve had that.”
Dean got up and looked back at John who was sleeping restlessly, his hands fisting and relaxing. “We should wake him, too.”
“We’ll let his Dean do it,” Sam said. “They need to talk anyway.”
He thought they had a lot to discuss, trials, rescuing Sam, the appearance of four people from another world in their life. They could do with some privacy for it.
Dean nodded and got to his feet. Sam opened the door and gestured him out. The door to Jessica’s room was open and Dean and Castiel of this world were standing in the parking lot, leaning against the Impala.
The two Deans surveyed each other for a moment and then this world’s version said, “I’m going to talk to Dad.”
Sam handed over the keycard and Dean walked to his father’s room and let himself inside, the door swinging shut behind him.
Sam and Dean walked into Jessica’s room where she, Jack and Castiel were gathered on the bed and chairs. Castiel looked up cautiously at Dean and said, “I know you’re not happy but…”
“But nothing!” Dean snapped. “I could have been doing something useful instead of napping. Don’t do that to be again.”
Castiel stared back at him impassively.
Sam grabbed the juice boxes and a package of cookies and pushed Dean towards the bed. “Be useful. Eat these.”
Dean sat and tore open the cookies without a word.
“We were talking about the Bunker,” Sam said, moving to lean against the wall opposite Dean. “We’ve got to find a reaper and there might be something in the books about summoning one.”
Dean frowned. “Why not just call one? Or track that Ajay down?”
“Already tried Ajay,” Sam said. “He wasn’t there.”
“Okay, but we can still call,” Dean said. “Billie came that time.”
“Yeah, because she was listening,” Sam said. “She was itching to end us so would have been hanging around when she could. There’s no one listening for us in this world.”
Dean chewed hard and then swallowed. “We could die.”
Castiel made an exasperated sound. “You do realize I can’t bring you back, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but we’ve done it without you, too,” Dean said, his tone aggravatingly reasonable. “There might be a Doctor Robert here. Shame I didn’t think to bring the Lazarus kit with me,” he muttered.
“How about we start with research?” Sam said, forcing himself not to show his extreme frustration. Dean was always so willing to dive into death, and Sam wasn’t sure it was wholly because he had faith that he’d come back each time.
Dean bit into another cookie and said, “Sure, okay,” around another mouthful.
“Where is this bunker?” Jessica asked.
“Kansas, only a couple hours drive away. We’ve got a key with us but…” He trailed off. They hadn’t asked if Henry had made it to this world. They might not have their own key to access it when Sam and the people he belonged with had gone home. He was pretty sure getting one cut professionally wasn’t going to work. “Did Henry ever find you?”
“John’s father?” Jessica asked.
“Yes, it would have been a while ago. He was being chased by a demon called-”
“Abaddon,” Jessica supplied. “Yeah. They were both here. Henry was killed and we think Abaddon was, too. We were going up against her when there was something like an earthquake and we all woke up an hour later alone. We figured the angels came for her.”
Sam acknowledged the fact his grandfather was dead in this world, too, with a sigh and a nod and said, “Did he leave you a key?”
“He left us a box,” Jessica said. “John has it.”
“And you never looked inside?” Dean asked.
Jessica shrugged. “It was never really up to us to look. John packed it away and we never asked him about it again. Some topics are out of bounds for us.”
Sam and Dean exchanged a glance and both nodded. There had been topics out of bounds for them with John, too. Sam could understand why John had been unwilling to talk about his father with the rest of his family.
“Well, in the box is a key,” Sam said. “That place you arrived in, the bunker, was made by the Men of Letters…”
“Never mind them,” John said curtly from the door, cutting Sam off. “We need to start the second trial.”
Sam looked at him and saw that his face was tight with carefully controlled anger. It was clear that he knew something about the Men of Letters, possibly from Henry when he had come to this world, and wasn’t going to talk about them. He was going to have to though, Sam knew, and he didn’t feel much pity for John. His pity was for Henry and the kind of reception he imagined he’d gotten from John in this world. The fact he’d packed away the key and never mentioned it again made it clear that he was still full of anger towards his father. Sam was determined that John was going to get the full story. This wasn’t his world or father, but he was going to make sure John knew what a sacrifice Henry had made when John just thought he’d abandoned him.
“We can’t start the second trial without a reaper,” Sam said. “And we don’t know how to get hold of one here. We need the lore the Men of Letters have to find one. We’re going to the bunker.”
John frowned but didn’t ask what the bunker was which made Sam think he’d been outside, listening to their conversation for a while.
“We’ve got to get to Kansas,” Dean said. “Lebanon. It’s only a couple hours away.”
Jessica got to her feet “Okay. You’ll need to tell me the way. Sam, you want to ride with me?”
Sam did want to, he wanted to wring as much out of the time he would have with her left, but he also knew that John needed to hear what he had to say more.
“No, I’ll ride with John,” he said. “Dean can go with you and show you where it is if we get separated on the road. Cas, you good to go in the Impala with Dean, Jack, and… well, Cas.”
Both Castiels nodded.
“Do you want to eat before we go?” Sam asked.
John opened his mouth, perhaps to argue against the need for food when there was a trial waiting to be undertaken, but his world’s Castiel said. “Yes. John and Dean need to eat. And the rest of you should fuel yourselves.” He looked at Jack, something strange in his eyes. “Do you eat?”
Jack beamed, perhaps pleased to be addressed by the angel that had been so against him when they’d first met, and said, “I do. I like nougat.”
Sam huffed a laugh. “We know, Jack, and we’ll stock the cupboard with it when we get home.”
“Really?” Jack asked. “What about cavities? You said that too much candy…”
Sam held up a hand. “After what you’ve done to get us here and will do to get us home, you can eat as much as you like. I’ll stock up on that cereal you like, too.”
Jack grinned and his eyes danced with glee, but his answer was mild. “Okay. Thank you.”
Sam thought the kid was doing well. He’d handled himself against Hannah and Castiel, he’d managed to get them here, and he was going to get them home. If he wanted sugar-filled cereal and candy as a reward, Sam would make sure he got it.
xXx
Sam and John had passed most of the journey to Lebanon without talking more than for Sam to give directions, and he’d struggled to find the courage to bring up the subject of Henry. As they passed into the town limits, he knew he had to if he was going to do it at all. Soon they would be in the bunker and their attention would return to the trials.
He cleared his throat and said, “About Henry…”
“I don’t want to hear it,” John snapped.
“No, I don’t think you do, but I also think you need to. When he was here, did he have a chance to tell you how and why he got here?”
“No. He had just long enough to tell me some crap about a secret society of scholars, get his chest punched out by Abaddon, and to shove that damn box in my hand.”
Sam nodded, understanding John’s reluctance to talk about him now.
“Well, he was in a secret society called The Men of Letters. It was scholars that studied the supernatural world. They facilitated hunters. In Britain, they did a lot more. They were more like soldiers, and they obliterated all monsters there. They were assholes, sure, but they were good at what they did.”
“Sounds fascinating,” John said, turning the radio on and cranking the volume.
Sam turned it down again and said, “It was. It was your family legacy. You should have been one of them, too, but Henry wasn’t there to teach you.”
John spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m guessing your dad was more open to discussions like this, but I’m not. You want to ride with me, you shut your mouth or I’ll kick you out and your buddy Jack can come pick you up.”
Sam snorted. “My dad wasn’t remotely open, and you can kick me out if you like, but if you want help with the trials, you’re going to listen to me.”
He was surprised at himself, he doubted he would ever have spoken to his father like this, and this version of John had an even darker face now that his had ever managed, but he owed it to Henry.
“Henry was at a chapter house for The Men of Letters that night when Abaddon arrived. She killed almost everyone there but one of them lived long enough to hand over the key to Henry. He had to hide it and she was right behind him, so he did the only thing he could. He used a spell to travel through time to his bloodline. In our world, that was me and Dean because Dad was dead. In this world it was you. We had longer with him, so we learned more. He didn’t leave you, John. He was trying to save lives. If Abaddon had gotten hold of the key, all Hell would have broken loose. When he heard what had happened to you from us, he wanted to come back. The idea that you thought he had abandoned you wrecked him. He would have done it if Abaddon hadn’t grabbed me. He stayed to save my life, and he died for it. If he could have, he would have come back to you.”
“Nice story.”
“It’s not just a story. It’s your father’s life.”
John glowered at the road and then, as they came to an intersection, said, “Which way next?
Sam sighed. “Take the left. About a mile down, turn right onto the dirt road and you’ll see the entrance. It’s under a power plant.”
John took the turn and then cranked the radio again, the message that the conversation was clearly over.
When they reached the bunker, Sam got out of the oppressive atmosphere of the truck at once and waited as Jessica’s car and the Impala pulled up behind them and everyone climbed out.
“You’re going to need the key,” Sam told John.
John pulled a bag out of the back of the truck and rooted through it then pulled out the carved wooden box, the twin of the one Sam and Dean had in their world. He slid open the lid and took out the key then looked up at the power plant.
“No, it’s that one,” Sam said, pointing at the sunken door at the base of concrete steps.
John walked down the steps and paused a moment before inserting the key and turning it. The lock squealed and the door creaked as it opened. John pushed it open and went in.
Sam went after him, the others filing in after him, and he went down the steps confidently and to the power point and pulled the lever that turned on the lights and started the unit that provided oxygen to the bunker.
The Dean, Jessica, John, and Castiel of this world looked around in wonder, while Sam’s family watched them. Jack looked especially happy to be home, or in a version of it at least.
“There’s bedrooms, a kitchen, bathrooms, everything,” Dean said.
“Where’s the books?” his counterpart of this world asked.
“Through there,” Sam said, pointing toward the library.
Dean, John, and Castiel strode away and up the stairs, leaving Sam with his family and Jessica.
“It’s protected?” Jessica asked.
“Yes,” Sam said. “Sam be safe here. You can make a room ready for him.”
She smiled and nodded. “I will, but first we’ve got to find a reaper so we can get him back”
She went into the library and Sam heard the occupants speaking in low voices.
“You okay, Sammy?” Dean asked.
Sam nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
And he was. He knew that by coming here they were making a leap towards getting the second trial started, getting Sam back, and he sensed that Jessica was now distancing herself from him, seeing the difference in him to the man she needed as Sam had when he’d been with her in Colorado. It was right. They didn’t belong to each other, and he understood that. Letting go of her was going to hurt, but it was also the right thing to do.
He could handle it.
Title: Heart’s Desire
Chapter: 12/23
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Author's Notes: Thanks to VegasGranny and Ncsupnatfan for pre-reading.
Summary: Jack wants to help Sam after overhearing a nightmare which results in a rift being opened. Jessica is brought from a world in which Lilith was never killed and now she and the demons reign while they work to break Sam in Hell. Unable to leave her to that life and pain, Sam and his family go to her world to save it.
Chapter Twelve
Sam let himself into the dimly lit room and looked between the two beds. Dean was lying on one on his back, his arms at his sides and his face peaceful. It looked as though he hadn’t stirred since Castiel had settled him here. John’s position was more torqued, as if he’d been tossing and turning, perhaps with nightmares.
He had come in to check on Dean only, planning to return to Jessica’s room and the others when he was sure Dean was okay, but the sight of the blood-soaked clothing that Dean had been wearing when they’d parted, tossed into the corner and his brother in clothes that didn’t belong to him, made him reluctant to leave him again.
He’d known Dean being there for the first trial was dangerous, that he could be hurt, but knowing and seeing how bad it had been were two very different things. At least it wasn’t Dean that had completed the trial. Castiel said John had done it alone and that his body was already showing the first signs of the same changes Sam had undergone on a molecular level.
It had started.
Dean stirred and opened his eyes. He blinked blearily up at Sam and said, “You watching me sleep, creeper?” He pushed himself upright, looked at John in the other bed and frowned. “Why am I sleeping at all?”
“Cas helped. You both lost a lot of blood and neither of you were willing to rest.”
Dean glowered. “He put me out! That asshole.”
“He was worried about you both. He could sense how bad it was and figured the best thing you could do was sleep awhile.”
“I’m still kicking his ass for it,” Dean grumbled.
Sam shrugged. “I guess you can try. How are you feeling?”
Dean rolled his shoulders and stretched his arms above him. “Not bad. I’m hungry.”
“We’ve got juice and cookies next door from the vending machine,” Sam said. “And I’ll go out and get you something decent when you’ve had that.”
Dean got up and looked back at John who was sleeping restlessly, his hands fisting and relaxing. “We should wake him, too.”
“We’ll let his Dean do it,” Sam said. “They need to talk anyway.”
He thought they had a lot to discuss, trials, rescuing Sam, the appearance of four people from another world in their life. They could do with some privacy for it.
Dean nodded and got to his feet. Sam opened the door and gestured him out. The door to Jessica’s room was open and Dean and Castiel of this world were standing in the parking lot, leaning against the Impala.
The two Deans surveyed each other for a moment and then this world’s version said, “I’m going to talk to Dad.”
Sam handed over the keycard and Dean walked to his father’s room and let himself inside, the door swinging shut behind him.
Sam and Dean walked into Jessica’s room where she, Jack and Castiel were gathered on the bed and chairs. Castiel looked up cautiously at Dean and said, “I know you’re not happy but…”
“But nothing!” Dean snapped. “I could have been doing something useful instead of napping. Don’t do that to be again.”
Castiel stared back at him impassively.
Sam grabbed the juice boxes and a package of cookies and pushed Dean towards the bed. “Be useful. Eat these.”
Dean sat and tore open the cookies without a word.
“We were talking about the Bunker,” Sam said, moving to lean against the wall opposite Dean. “We’ve got to find a reaper and there might be something in the books about summoning one.”
Dean frowned. “Why not just call one? Or track that Ajay down?”
“Already tried Ajay,” Sam said. “He wasn’t there.”
“Okay, but we can still call,” Dean said. “Billie came that time.”
“Yeah, because she was listening,” Sam said. “She was itching to end us so would have been hanging around when she could. There’s no one listening for us in this world.”
Dean chewed hard and then swallowed. “We could die.”
Castiel made an exasperated sound. “You do realize I can’t bring you back, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but we’ve done it without you, too,” Dean said, his tone aggravatingly reasonable. “There might be a Doctor Robert here. Shame I didn’t think to bring the Lazarus kit with me,” he muttered.
“How about we start with research?” Sam said, forcing himself not to show his extreme frustration. Dean was always so willing to dive into death, and Sam wasn’t sure it was wholly because he had faith that he’d come back each time.
Dean bit into another cookie and said, “Sure, okay,” around another mouthful.
“Where is this bunker?” Jessica asked.
“Kansas, only a couple hours drive away. We’ve got a key with us but…” He trailed off. They hadn’t asked if Henry had made it to this world. They might not have their own key to access it when Sam and the people he belonged with had gone home. He was pretty sure getting one cut professionally wasn’t going to work. “Did Henry ever find you?”
“John’s father?” Jessica asked.
“Yes, it would have been a while ago. He was being chased by a demon called-”
“Abaddon,” Jessica supplied. “Yeah. They were both here. Henry was killed and we think Abaddon was, too. We were going up against her when there was something like an earthquake and we all woke up an hour later alone. We figured the angels came for her.”
Sam acknowledged the fact his grandfather was dead in this world, too, with a sigh and a nod and said, “Did he leave you a key?”
“He left us a box,” Jessica said. “John has it.”
“And you never looked inside?” Dean asked.
Jessica shrugged. “It was never really up to us to look. John packed it away and we never asked him about it again. Some topics are out of bounds for us.”
Sam and Dean exchanged a glance and both nodded. There had been topics out of bounds for them with John, too. Sam could understand why John had been unwilling to talk about his father with the rest of his family.
“Well, in the box is a key,” Sam said. “That place you arrived in, the bunker, was made by the Men of Letters…”
“Never mind them,” John said curtly from the door, cutting Sam off. “We need to start the second trial.”
Sam looked at him and saw that his face was tight with carefully controlled anger. It was clear that he knew something about the Men of Letters, possibly from Henry when he had come to this world, and wasn’t going to talk about them. He was going to have to though, Sam knew, and he didn’t feel much pity for John. His pity was for Henry and the kind of reception he imagined he’d gotten from John in this world. The fact he’d packed away the key and never mentioned it again made it clear that he was still full of anger towards his father. Sam was determined that John was going to get the full story. This wasn’t his world or father, but he was going to make sure John knew what a sacrifice Henry had made when John just thought he’d abandoned him.
“We can’t start the second trial without a reaper,” Sam said. “And we don’t know how to get hold of one here. We need the lore the Men of Letters have to find one. We’re going to the bunker.”
John frowned but didn’t ask what the bunker was which made Sam think he’d been outside, listening to their conversation for a while.
“We’ve got to get to Kansas,” Dean said. “Lebanon. It’s only a couple hours away.”
Jessica got to her feet “Okay. You’ll need to tell me the way. Sam, you want to ride with me?”
Sam did want to, he wanted to wring as much out of the time he would have with her left, but he also knew that John needed to hear what he had to say more.
“No, I’ll ride with John,” he said. “Dean can go with you and show you where it is if we get separated on the road. Cas, you good to go in the Impala with Dean, Jack, and… well, Cas.”
Both Castiels nodded.
“Do you want to eat before we go?” Sam asked.
John opened his mouth, perhaps to argue against the need for food when there was a trial waiting to be undertaken, but his world’s Castiel said. “Yes. John and Dean need to eat. And the rest of you should fuel yourselves.” He looked at Jack, something strange in his eyes. “Do you eat?”
Jack beamed, perhaps pleased to be addressed by the angel that had been so against him when they’d first met, and said, “I do. I like nougat.”
Sam huffed a laugh. “We know, Jack, and we’ll stock the cupboard with it when we get home.”
“Really?” Jack asked. “What about cavities? You said that too much candy…”
Sam held up a hand. “After what you’ve done to get us here and will do to get us home, you can eat as much as you like. I’ll stock up on that cereal you like, too.”
Jack grinned and his eyes danced with glee, but his answer was mild. “Okay. Thank you.”
Sam thought the kid was doing well. He’d handled himself against Hannah and Castiel, he’d managed to get them here, and he was going to get them home. If he wanted sugar-filled cereal and candy as a reward, Sam would make sure he got it.
xXx
Sam and John had passed most of the journey to Lebanon without talking more than for Sam to give directions, and he’d struggled to find the courage to bring up the subject of Henry. As they passed into the town limits, he knew he had to if he was going to do it at all. Soon they would be in the bunker and their attention would return to the trials.
He cleared his throat and said, “About Henry…”
“I don’t want to hear it,” John snapped.
“No, I don’t think you do, but I also think you need to. When he was here, did he have a chance to tell you how and why he got here?”
“No. He had just long enough to tell me some crap about a secret society of scholars, get his chest punched out by Abaddon, and to shove that damn box in my hand.”
Sam nodded, understanding John’s reluctance to talk about him now.
“Well, he was in a secret society called The Men of Letters. It was scholars that studied the supernatural world. They facilitated hunters. In Britain, they did a lot more. They were more like soldiers, and they obliterated all monsters there. They were assholes, sure, but they were good at what they did.”
“Sounds fascinating,” John said, turning the radio on and cranking the volume.
Sam turned it down again and said, “It was. It was your family legacy. You should have been one of them, too, but Henry wasn’t there to teach you.”
John spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m guessing your dad was more open to discussions like this, but I’m not. You want to ride with me, you shut your mouth or I’ll kick you out and your buddy Jack can come pick you up.”
Sam snorted. “My dad wasn’t remotely open, and you can kick me out if you like, but if you want help with the trials, you’re going to listen to me.”
He was surprised at himself, he doubted he would ever have spoken to his father like this, and this version of John had an even darker face now that his had ever managed, but he owed it to Henry.
“Henry was at a chapter house for The Men of Letters that night when Abaddon arrived. She killed almost everyone there but one of them lived long enough to hand over the key to Henry. He had to hide it and she was right behind him, so he did the only thing he could. He used a spell to travel through time to his bloodline. In our world, that was me and Dean because Dad was dead. In this world it was you. We had longer with him, so we learned more. He didn’t leave you, John. He was trying to save lives. If Abaddon had gotten hold of the key, all Hell would have broken loose. When he heard what had happened to you from us, he wanted to come back. The idea that you thought he had abandoned you wrecked him. He would have done it if Abaddon hadn’t grabbed me. He stayed to save my life, and he died for it. If he could have, he would have come back to you.”
“Nice story.”
“It’s not just a story. It’s your father’s life.”
John glowered at the road and then, as they came to an intersection, said, “Which way next?
Sam sighed. “Take the left. About a mile down, turn right onto the dirt road and you’ll see the entrance. It’s under a power plant.”
John took the turn and then cranked the radio again, the message that the conversation was clearly over.
When they reached the bunker, Sam got out of the oppressive atmosphere of the truck at once and waited as Jessica’s car and the Impala pulled up behind them and everyone climbed out.
“You’re going to need the key,” Sam told John.
John pulled a bag out of the back of the truck and rooted through it then pulled out the carved wooden box, the twin of the one Sam and Dean had in their world. He slid open the lid and took out the key then looked up at the power plant.
“No, it’s that one,” Sam said, pointing at the sunken door at the base of concrete steps.
John walked down the steps and paused a moment before inserting the key and turning it. The lock squealed and the door creaked as it opened. John pushed it open and went in.
Sam went after him, the others filing in after him, and he went down the steps confidently and to the power point and pulled the lever that turned on the lights and started the unit that provided oxygen to the bunker.
The Dean, Jessica, John, and Castiel of this world looked around in wonder, while Sam’s family watched them. Jack looked especially happy to be home, or in a version of it at least.
“There’s bedrooms, a kitchen, bathrooms, everything,” Dean said.
“Where’s the books?” his counterpart of this world asked.
“Through there,” Sam said, pointing toward the library.
Dean, John, and Castiel strode away and up the stairs, leaving Sam with his family and Jessica.
“It’s protected?” Jessica asked.
“Yes,” Sam said. “Sam be safe here. You can make a room ready for him.”
She smiled and nodded. “I will, but first we’ve got to find a reaper so we can get him back”
She went into the library and Sam heard the occupants speaking in low voices.
“You okay, Sammy?” Dean asked.
Sam nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
And he was. He knew that by coming here they were making a leap towards getting the second trial started, getting Sam back, and he sensed that Jessica was now distancing herself from him, seeing the difference in him to the man she needed as Sam had when he’d been with her in Colorado. It was right. They didn’t belong to each other, and he understood that. Letting go of her was going to hurt, but it was also the right thing to do.
He could handle it.