Fic: Confession
Title: Confession
Author: clover71
Fandom: American Idol
Pairing: David Cook/ David Archuleta
Rating: PG-13
Description: Part of the Twelve Days of Christmas 2011 collection, see author's notes for more details.
Summary: Archie's leaving for his mission in two weeks and Dave's not sure if he should let Archie know how he feels about him.
Disclaimer:
1) Please note that this is purely fiction and none of the contents are real except for all or some of the characters used in this story.
2) Most characters used are real people but the details within do not purposely imply occurrences in real life; thus, anything here that concurs with real events may be completely coincidental.
3) This fiction is created based solely on the imagination of the author and for non-profitable purpose.
Author's Note(s):
- a gift for mira986 who requested a fic about 'best friends finally admitting they're in love with each other'. I hope you like this mira986. I'm in a bit of a writer's block lately so I just wrote this today, took me 5 hours to write this (gosh I need some inspiration).
- I was actually planning on writing an AU when I was given the prompt, but with Archie's announcement about going on a mission, the story sort of took a turn and wrote itself.
- not beta'ed, I apologize for any mistake.
Archie is leaving in two weeks. Two weeks. And all Dave can do is sulk at home, his chest seizing with regret that he hasn't had a chance to let Archie know how he really feels about him.
How could he? Archie is his best friend. He respects him, respects his dreams and decisions. He knows how much Archie's devoted to his religion. Dave couldn't - can't take that away from him. Telling Archie how he feels will ruin it all and… and… fuck!
He paces around his living room, been pacing for probably an hour already and he can almost feel the friction rising from the carpeted floor.
"Just tell him and be done with it," Andrew says languidly. "I'm getting dizzy watching you and my ears are tired of listening to you prattling."
Dave shoots his brother a threatening glare but that doesn't faze Andrew, only makes him laugh and shake his head. "If only you could see yourself right now, dear brother. You look so pathetic, Dave."
"You're not helping," Dave spits out. "In case you missed it, Archie is going on a full-time mission. You know, spread the gospel, talk about religious stuffs, things like that. Which can only mean he's completely off-limits, more than he was before."
"So you're screwed. Done for. Is that it?"
Dave looks at Andrew incredulously like Andrew just declared he had inherited the throne of England. "He will be gone for two years, Drew. Two years. What good would it do if I tell him now?"
"Well." Andrew rises from the couch and stretches. "You'll never find out since you're too chicken to do it. So you've got nothing to worry about. You can just," he waves his hand, gesturing around the room, "continue cleaning the carpet with your bare feet until you burn a hole in it."
Dave stops pacing and plants his hands on his hips. "What do you suggest I do, huh? Huh?"
Andrew rolls his eyes. "If you don't think you can say it out loud, then write him a letter. Or a song. Do something for fuck's sake."
"That is so high school."
"And you think whining all day isn't?"
Andrew leaves him with his mouth hanging open.
~
Dave gets a call from Archie a few hours after Archie lands in L.A. "I just wanted to see everyone before I head back to Murray," Archie says and explains in one breath that he'll be focusing on getting ready for his mission once he returns home.
"Sure. Come over. We'll hang out," Dave says and wills himself to say what's on his mind but the phrases refuse to form. When Archie gets here, I'll tell him, he thinks and feels panic bloating in his gut.
Desperate, frantic, and with the lack of other options, Dave does what Andrew had suggested. He writes a letter - short but straightforward, pouring his heart out and telling Archie what he feels, shamelessly expressing his desires.
He doesn't write Archie's name on it, doesn't even sign the letter. He's not even sure he can give the damn thing to Archie anyway. At least he tried, right? Right?
~
When Dave pulls the door open, his breath leaves him in a quick woosh and a weight settles in his chest.
Fuck
Archie's standing there looking like he wears the sun above his head, his eyes glittering against its golden glow.
"Hey," Dave says. "You look great." His voice trips and he's pretty sure he heard himself squeak.
Archie barks out an embarrassed laughter. "Thanks. You look awesome, too Cook. Aren't you gonna let me in?"
"Oh sh-shoot, of course." Dave pulls Archie into a hug and holds on a bit longer than necessary before letting him into the house.
It's just like old times, like they haven't seen each other for more than a month. They just fall into an easy conversation, no awkwardness, no hesitation.
Except Dave is fighting these emotions that are trying to claw their way out of his chest.
Like he'd told Andrew, he respects Archie, respects his beliefs, his principles in life and because of that, Dave had held back - had been holding back these feelings for two years.
Now Archie's leaving and Dave's not sure if these feelings will ever go away, if he won't regret not telling Archie that he's in love with him, if he'll ever be able to move on after this.
They spend two hours in Dave's living room, pressed against each other on the couch. Archie's head is resting on Dave's shoulder and Dave's breathing in the scent of Archie's hair.
"I'll write, I promise," Archie whispers. "We're allowed to write to family and friends, at least." Friends. Dave tries to ignore the sting that the word brings. "Do you think…" Archie falters and Dave can almost hear him weighing the words in his thoughts, "do you think we'd still be friends when I come back?" Archie's voice is thick with tears Dave presumes Archie's holding back.
"Of course." Dave doesn't say how he wishes they could be more. It's going to ruin things. For Archie. For him. "What makes you think we won't? We're B-F-Fs remember?"
Archie shrugs. "I'm just worried that maybe… maybe you'll be weird around me then. I don't know. Am I being silly?"
Dave laughs softly. "A little, yeah." He presses a kiss on top of Archie's head. "I'll always be here for you, Arch. And if you think I'm being weird, you have all my permission to smack me right across my head."
This makes Archie giggle and the sound sends a ripple of longing in Dave's heart. He's going to miss this. He's going to miss Archie. Damn it! Two years. It's a long time. A long time.
What if Archie finds somebody? What if Dave's not able to move on?
Archie stirs in Dave's embrace after a while, says, "I better go. My flight leaves in an hour," and Dave feels like his chest is about to explode.
Dave doesn't let go right away. His hand remains curled on the curve of Archie's shoulder, coaxing himself to just say the words but he feels like he has just swallowed his tongue.
It's only when Archie says, "Cook?" that Dave snaps out of his trance and lets his hand slide down Archie's arms, reluctantly releasing this young man who have come to mean a lot to him in the last three years and a half.
"This isn't goodbye," is what Dave manages to utter and he feels warm tears trickling down his cheeks.
Archie blinks and the tears that are brimming in his eyes stream down his face. "Of course, Cook. I'll be back and you better throw me a welcome party when I do."
Dave barks a hearty laugh, says, "I will," and fights the urge to lean down and brush his lips against Archie's and instead wraps his arms around him. "Take good care of yourself, Arch. I'll miss you."
While Archie heads over to the basement to bid Andrew goodbye, Dave plunges into a cowardly act and slips the letter in Archie's backpack.
~
Dave checks his calendar. Archie's leaving tomorrow, will board a plane that will take him to Thailand, away from his family, away from his friends, away from David Cook.
He called Archie the other day and there doesn't seem to be anything different about him, doesn't act weird when he spoke. He wonders if Archie ever found the letter Dave wrote, wonders if Archie has read it or if Archie even knows that it's meant for him.
Andrew - even Monty and Andy weren't thrilled when they found out what Dave did, called him stupid for writing an anonymous letter.
"You're loss, bro," Andrew has said countless times already, keeps rubbing it in Dave's face.
Dave's sprawled on the couch, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain against the roof and the windows. He hates how unpredictable the weather has been, hates the early January rain and how it's making the whole situation gloomier.
A car pulls up in his driveway and Dave presumes it's either Andy or Ryan. They did say something about dropping by with beer. Dave could sure use their company. Andrew is still in Missouri so the house feels rather empty. Even the sounds of Dublin's whines and occasional barking aren't enough to bring make it noisy enough to drown his sorrows.
Dave's off the couch on the first knock and he frowns when it becomes insistent - a ceaseless rapping like whoever's outside is ready to break inside. "Just wait a god damn minute!" Dave unlocks the door and yanks it open and his heart rises in his throat when he sees Archie standing on his porch - drenched and panting.
"Archie?"
"Did you write this?" Archie says without preamble, pushing his way inside, one hand raised and Dave felt his heart drop this time when he sees a piece of paper clutched in Archie's fist.
"Um…."
"Did you write this?" Archie repeats, voice louder and more demanding.
"Archie, I…" Dave doesn't really know what to say, whether he's going to deny it or just push all his qualms aside, take the risk and fucking tell Archie - his best friend - the truth. "I just didn't know how else to tell you," he says. Carefully. Warily. Instinctively gauging Archie's reaction. "I know it was a gutless move but if I'd lose my mind if I didn't."
Archie slams the letter against Dave's chest. His face twisted with emotions that Dave's unable to read. "Gosh, Cook. And I thought I was the dense one." The laughter that escapes Archie sounds different - sounds derisive somehow. "For three years, I've been dropping hints, telling the public I love you, hoping you'll pick up the clues and maybe… just maybe, you'll make a move if in case you feel the same way. But you never did anything. I thought… I thought maybe all I ever was to you was a friend - a brother."
Dave feels like he's been punched right across his face. "Wait. What are you saying?"
Something shifts in Archie's expression - determination, confidence, maturity that Dave has never seen before. "I've been in love with you for more than three years, Cook." It came out in a whisper, but Dave caught every word.
Why didn't you tell me is on the tip of Dave's tongue but he doesn't say it. Archie isn't really the outspoken one to begin with, has never been too forward or aggressive when it comes to letting people know how he feels. Dave is.
Instead, Dave reaches out, tentatively curls his hand around Archie's arm and tugs gently. Archie falls into his embrace. "You're leaving tomorrow," Dave says matter-of-factly, the reality of it ripping his heart into pieces.
"Two long years. I'll be gone for two years, Cook," Archie whispers against his chest.
"I will wait for you." It's not an empty promise, more like a statement - a fact, something he can engrave in a stone until Archie returns.
Archie lifts his head up to meet Dave's gaze. "Don't make promises you can't keep."
"I'm not. I won't." Dave lowers his mouth on Archie's before Archie can say another word. It starts with a tentative brush of their lips, testing the boundaries and Dave deepens the kiss when Archie doesn't pull away.
"I'm cold," Archie says against his lips when they part. "And tired. I have an early flight back to Salt Lake tomorrow. Do you think I could-"
"Stay for the night?" Dave cocks his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Do you honestly think I'd let you go anywhere else? C'mon." He leads Archie up the stairs. "Go take a shower. I think you left a few clothes here from the last time you slept over." They reach the second landing when something occurs to Dave. "How d'you know I wrote the letter anyway?"
"With Claudia's help." Archie blushes at this, eyelashes fluttering as he looks away from Dave. "She compared the letter to the handwritten lyrics printed in your album and the penmanship is so identical that it only proved her theory that you wrote it. For me." He lifts his eyes back to Dave. "She's been telling me it's too obvious that you like me that way, too. And yes, she knows how I feel for you," Archie adds before Dave could ask. "She thinks the letter's too cheesy, by the way."
Loud laughter rang out of Dave's throat. "I'm gonna let Andrew take the blame. It was his idea."
A small, shy smile takes shape on Archie's lips. "Remind me to thank Andrew then." He pushes himself up on his toes and presses his lips against Dave in a chaste kiss before sliding inside the bathroom.
The future may be uncertain, but Dave's not afraid to hope for the best. Not anymore.
Author: clover71
Fandom: American Idol
Pairing: David Cook/ David Archuleta
Rating: PG-13
Description: Part of the Twelve Days of Christmas 2011 collection, see author's notes for more details.
Summary: Archie's leaving for his mission in two weeks and Dave's not sure if he should let Archie know how he feels about him.
Disclaimer:
1) Please note that this is purely fiction and none of the contents are real except for all or some of the characters used in this story.
2) Most characters used are real people but the details within do not purposely imply occurrences in real life; thus, anything here that concurs with real events may be completely coincidental.
3) This fiction is created based solely on the imagination of the author and for non-profitable purpose.
Author's Note(s):
- a gift for mira986 who requested a fic about 'best friends finally admitting they're in love with each other'. I hope you like this mira986. I'm in a bit of a writer's block lately so I just wrote this today, took me 5 hours to write this (gosh I need some inspiration).
- I was actually planning on writing an AU when I was given the prompt, but with Archie's announcement about going on a mission, the story sort of took a turn and wrote itself.
- not beta'ed, I apologize for any mistake.
Archie is leaving in two weeks. Two weeks. And all Dave can do is sulk at home, his chest seizing with regret that he hasn't had a chance to let Archie know how he really feels about him.
How could he? Archie is his best friend. He respects him, respects his dreams and decisions. He knows how much Archie's devoted to his religion. Dave couldn't - can't take that away from him. Telling Archie how he feels will ruin it all and… and… fuck!
He paces around his living room, been pacing for probably an hour already and he can almost feel the friction rising from the carpeted floor.
"Just tell him and be done with it," Andrew says languidly. "I'm getting dizzy watching you and my ears are tired of listening to you prattling."
Dave shoots his brother a threatening glare but that doesn't faze Andrew, only makes him laugh and shake his head. "If only you could see yourself right now, dear brother. You look so pathetic, Dave."
"You're not helping," Dave spits out. "In case you missed it, Archie is going on a full-time mission. You know, spread the gospel, talk about religious stuffs, things like that. Which can only mean he's completely off-limits, more than he was before."
"So you're screwed. Done for. Is that it?"
Dave looks at Andrew incredulously like Andrew just declared he had inherited the throne of England. "He will be gone for two years, Drew. Two years. What good would it do if I tell him now?"
"Well." Andrew rises from the couch and stretches. "You'll never find out since you're too chicken to do it. So you've got nothing to worry about. You can just," he waves his hand, gesturing around the room, "continue cleaning the carpet with your bare feet until you burn a hole in it."
Dave stops pacing and plants his hands on his hips. "What do you suggest I do, huh? Huh?"
Andrew rolls his eyes. "If you don't think you can say it out loud, then write him a letter. Or a song. Do something for fuck's sake."
"That is so high school."
"And you think whining all day isn't?"
Andrew leaves him with his mouth hanging open.
~
Dave gets a call from Archie a few hours after Archie lands in L.A. "I just wanted to see everyone before I head back to Murray," Archie says and explains in one breath that he'll be focusing on getting ready for his mission once he returns home.
"Sure. Come over. We'll hang out," Dave says and wills himself to say what's on his mind but the phrases refuse to form. When Archie gets here, I'll tell him, he thinks and feels panic bloating in his gut.
Desperate, frantic, and with the lack of other options, Dave does what Andrew had suggested. He writes a letter - short but straightforward, pouring his heart out and telling Archie what he feels, shamelessly expressing his desires.
He doesn't write Archie's name on it, doesn't even sign the letter. He's not even sure he can give the damn thing to Archie anyway. At least he tried, right? Right?
~
When Dave pulls the door open, his breath leaves him in a quick woosh and a weight settles in his chest.
Fuck
Archie's standing there looking like he wears the sun above his head, his eyes glittering against its golden glow.
"Hey," Dave says. "You look great." His voice trips and he's pretty sure he heard himself squeak.
Archie barks out an embarrassed laughter. "Thanks. You look awesome, too Cook. Aren't you gonna let me in?"
"Oh sh-shoot, of course." Dave pulls Archie into a hug and holds on a bit longer than necessary before letting him into the house.
It's just like old times, like they haven't seen each other for more than a month. They just fall into an easy conversation, no awkwardness, no hesitation.
Except Dave is fighting these emotions that are trying to claw their way out of his chest.
Like he'd told Andrew, he respects Archie, respects his beliefs, his principles in life and because of that, Dave had held back - had been holding back these feelings for two years.
Now Archie's leaving and Dave's not sure if these feelings will ever go away, if he won't regret not telling Archie that he's in love with him, if he'll ever be able to move on after this.
They spend two hours in Dave's living room, pressed against each other on the couch. Archie's head is resting on Dave's shoulder and Dave's breathing in the scent of Archie's hair.
"I'll write, I promise," Archie whispers. "We're allowed to write to family and friends, at least." Friends. Dave tries to ignore the sting that the word brings. "Do you think…" Archie falters and Dave can almost hear him weighing the words in his thoughts, "do you think we'd still be friends when I come back?" Archie's voice is thick with tears Dave presumes Archie's holding back.
"Of course." Dave doesn't say how he wishes they could be more. It's going to ruin things. For Archie. For him. "What makes you think we won't? We're B-F-Fs remember?"
Archie shrugs. "I'm just worried that maybe… maybe you'll be weird around me then. I don't know. Am I being silly?"
Dave laughs softly. "A little, yeah." He presses a kiss on top of Archie's head. "I'll always be here for you, Arch. And if you think I'm being weird, you have all my permission to smack me right across my head."
This makes Archie giggle and the sound sends a ripple of longing in Dave's heart. He's going to miss this. He's going to miss Archie. Damn it! Two years. It's a long time. A long time.
What if Archie finds somebody? What if Dave's not able to move on?
Archie stirs in Dave's embrace after a while, says, "I better go. My flight leaves in an hour," and Dave feels like his chest is about to explode.
Dave doesn't let go right away. His hand remains curled on the curve of Archie's shoulder, coaxing himself to just say the words but he feels like he has just swallowed his tongue.
It's only when Archie says, "Cook?" that Dave snaps out of his trance and lets his hand slide down Archie's arms, reluctantly releasing this young man who have come to mean a lot to him in the last three years and a half.
"This isn't goodbye," is what Dave manages to utter and he feels warm tears trickling down his cheeks.
Archie blinks and the tears that are brimming in his eyes stream down his face. "Of course, Cook. I'll be back and you better throw me a welcome party when I do."
Dave barks a hearty laugh, says, "I will," and fights the urge to lean down and brush his lips against Archie's and instead wraps his arms around him. "Take good care of yourself, Arch. I'll miss you."
While Archie heads over to the basement to bid Andrew goodbye, Dave plunges into a cowardly act and slips the letter in Archie's backpack.
~
Dave checks his calendar. Archie's leaving tomorrow, will board a plane that will take him to Thailand, away from his family, away from his friends, away from David Cook.
He called Archie the other day and there doesn't seem to be anything different about him, doesn't act weird when he spoke. He wonders if Archie ever found the letter Dave wrote, wonders if Archie has read it or if Archie even knows that it's meant for him.
Andrew - even Monty and Andy weren't thrilled when they found out what Dave did, called him stupid for writing an anonymous letter.
"You're loss, bro," Andrew has said countless times already, keeps rubbing it in Dave's face.
Dave's sprawled on the couch, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain against the roof and the windows. He hates how unpredictable the weather has been, hates the early January rain and how it's making the whole situation gloomier.
A car pulls up in his driveway and Dave presumes it's either Andy or Ryan. They did say something about dropping by with beer. Dave could sure use their company. Andrew is still in Missouri so the house feels rather empty. Even the sounds of Dublin's whines and occasional barking aren't enough to bring make it noisy enough to drown his sorrows.
Dave's off the couch on the first knock and he frowns when it becomes insistent - a ceaseless rapping like whoever's outside is ready to break inside. "Just wait a god damn minute!" Dave unlocks the door and yanks it open and his heart rises in his throat when he sees Archie standing on his porch - drenched and panting.
"Archie?"
"Did you write this?" Archie says without preamble, pushing his way inside, one hand raised and Dave felt his heart drop this time when he sees a piece of paper clutched in Archie's fist.
"Um…."
"Did you write this?" Archie repeats, voice louder and more demanding.
"Archie, I…" Dave doesn't really know what to say, whether he's going to deny it or just push all his qualms aside, take the risk and fucking tell Archie - his best friend - the truth. "I just didn't know how else to tell you," he says. Carefully. Warily. Instinctively gauging Archie's reaction. "I know it was a gutless move but if I'd lose my mind if I didn't."
Archie slams the letter against Dave's chest. His face twisted with emotions that Dave's unable to read. "Gosh, Cook. And I thought I was the dense one." The laughter that escapes Archie sounds different - sounds derisive somehow. "For three years, I've been dropping hints, telling the public I love you, hoping you'll pick up the clues and maybe… just maybe, you'll make a move if in case you feel the same way. But you never did anything. I thought… I thought maybe all I ever was to you was a friend - a brother."
Dave feels like he's been punched right across his face. "Wait. What are you saying?"
Something shifts in Archie's expression - determination, confidence, maturity that Dave has never seen before. "I've been in love with you for more than three years, Cook." It came out in a whisper, but Dave caught every word.
Why didn't you tell me is on the tip of Dave's tongue but he doesn't say it. Archie isn't really the outspoken one to begin with, has never been too forward or aggressive when it comes to letting people know how he feels. Dave is.
Instead, Dave reaches out, tentatively curls his hand around Archie's arm and tugs gently. Archie falls into his embrace. "You're leaving tomorrow," Dave says matter-of-factly, the reality of it ripping his heart into pieces.
"Two long years. I'll be gone for two years, Cook," Archie whispers against his chest.
"I will wait for you." It's not an empty promise, more like a statement - a fact, something he can engrave in a stone until Archie returns.
Archie lifts his head up to meet Dave's gaze. "Don't make promises you can't keep."
"I'm not. I won't." Dave lowers his mouth on Archie's before Archie can say another word. It starts with a tentative brush of their lips, testing the boundaries and Dave deepens the kiss when Archie doesn't pull away.
"I'm cold," Archie says against his lips when they part. "And tired. I have an early flight back to Salt Lake tomorrow. Do you think I could-"
"Stay for the night?" Dave cocks his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Do you honestly think I'd let you go anywhere else? C'mon." He leads Archie up the stairs. "Go take a shower. I think you left a few clothes here from the last time you slept over." They reach the second landing when something occurs to Dave. "How d'you know I wrote the letter anyway?"
"With Claudia's help." Archie blushes at this, eyelashes fluttering as he looks away from Dave. "She compared the letter to the handwritten lyrics printed in your album and the penmanship is so identical that it only proved her theory that you wrote it. For me." He lifts his eyes back to Dave. "She's been telling me it's too obvious that you like me that way, too. And yes, she knows how I feel for you," Archie adds before Dave could ask. "She thinks the letter's too cheesy, by the way."
Loud laughter rang out of Dave's throat. "I'm gonna let Andrew take the blame. It was his idea."
A small, shy smile takes shape on Archie's lips. "Remind me to thank Andrew then." He pushes himself up on his toes and presses his lips against Dave in a chaste kiss before sliding inside the bathroom.
The future may be uncertain, but Dave's not afraid to hope for the best. Not anymore.