GRRR
Why can't my family just be happy for me? I really don't ask for a lot. I leave them alone, I follow the rules...mostly.
The only thing I do that's really against them are my beliefs. They hate that I'm a democrat. They don't even know that I'm a lesbian(I recently decided that fit better than bi), and I can't tell them because my father manages to fit a homophobic remark into EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION. They're total conservatives, they can't handle homosexuality at all.
And I JUST got a girlfriend. Who i like a LOT. And I want to be able to spend time with her and show affection...but I can't do that around my family or the church, because the church would mention it to them.
I would be willing to leave home right now. I know I would be happier. But I'm scared to death because I don't know the first thing about getting a job or finding a place to live.
If it comes down to it, though, I know at this point I would choose to be on my own, even flat broke, and be able to be myself. I don't know if I can handle it if I have to stay in that house if they find out I'm gay and if they won't let me see my girlfriend.
oh...i guess i didn't explain why they might find out or not let me see my girlfriend. My sister knows my girlfriend, but(obviously) not that she IS my girlfriend, or that I'm gay or even bi. And she knows my gf is bi. AND, as i just found out tonight...my sister HATES my girlfriend. So I'm afraid she's going to try and get in the way and tell my parents things that will make them want me to stay away from her.
And if that happens, I think I might just have to tell them everything, and then get out as fast as I can. Because I can't handle being controlled so much, or having to hide who i am. it sucks that i don't feel welcome at home. I want to get out.
The only thing I do that's really against them are my beliefs. They hate that I'm a democrat. They don't even know that I'm a lesbian(I recently decided that fit better than bi), and I can't tell them because my father manages to fit a homophobic remark into EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION. They're total conservatives, they can't handle homosexuality at all.
And I JUST got a girlfriend. Who i like a LOT. And I want to be able to spend time with her and show affection...but I can't do that around my family or the church, because the church would mention it to them.
I would be willing to leave home right now. I know I would be happier. But I'm scared to death because I don't know the first thing about getting a job or finding a place to live.
If it comes down to it, though, I know at this point I would choose to be on my own, even flat broke, and be able to be myself. I don't know if I can handle it if I have to stay in that house if they find out I'm gay and if they won't let me see my girlfriend.
oh...i guess i didn't explain why they might find out or not let me see my girlfriend. My sister knows my girlfriend, but(obviously) not that she IS my girlfriend, or that I'm gay or even bi. And she knows my gf is bi. AND, as i just found out tonight...my sister HATES my girlfriend. So I'm afraid she's going to try and get in the way and tell my parents things that will make them want me to stay away from her.
And if that happens, I think I might just have to tell them everything, and then get out as fast as I can. Because I can't handle being controlled so much, or having to hide who i am. it sucks that i don't feel welcome at home. I want to get out.