Ups and downs
The last week left me physically drenched. Not because of any physical activity. But I felt like my heart was on a roller coaster and, even if it means that I’m alive, it took a toll on my body!
Starting with my grandmother funerals. When I came back to Lyon last week, I was worried about my father: the bond between the mother and the son has developed since Granny left her hometown to live in Lyon and I honestly didn’t know how he felt about losing not only the one who gave him life, but also the person he spent every day with for five years. Well, I shouldn’t have thought too much about it, as he seems perfectly fine with it. Well, as perfect as someone can feel in this kind of situation. I wished I could say the same thing about his eldest brother too… Unfortunately, my uncle and his wife didn’t disappoint me and misbehaved the whole day. So much that even Dad and his sister noticed it. I felt bad for the four of them: my uncle and his wife for not being able to read the situation (and hide their money crave), my aunt and my father for seeing the image of their family crumble in such a day. Let’s hope the tree siblings will find a way to work things out in a near future: what I wish to remember about that day isn’t the trivial family issues, but the light grey sky, the scent of my grand parents garden’s roses at the cemetery, the smiles exchanged with my cousins during the family lunch and, moreover, the peaceful moment we all shared at the church.
Second loop of the rollercoaster: the fight with my brother. The both of us have never been closed. I don’t know why. I wish I could say it bothers me but it would be a lie. I care for him (we spend nearly fifteen years under the same roof after all), but I don’t think I like him that much. And I can’t stand the way he has to come inside the family circle, talk (not to say give orders) and then leave me dealing with the consequences of his words/acts. I’m fed up with his habit to take the space around him, not really caring if someone else is there or not. I wish my mother could understand that this is one of the reasons that make me feel like I’m not a part of this family, no mater what she says when he’s not here. I wish I wasn’t transparent (or non existent) when it’s convenient for them… As a consequence, I wasn’t really optimistic when Saturday and my family Birthday dinner. Yes, I was born in January. And yes, we celebrated it in October… It took my mother this long to convince me to attend my own birthday dinner. After months of negotiations about the length of the guest list and the location, we agreed on a small gathering a restaurant. Well, if the location was kept secret until the last minute, I’ve been able to manage the invitations on my own (and cut the initial list by three…). Eight was a good number. I think every one had its share of fun. The food was great, the wine flew perhaps a little too much, but what I’ll remember until my last day will be the « after party » hold by one of the guest. This person isn’t technically part of the family, but he’s been probably the second name I thought about (after my godfather). Mum explained me that I didn’t know what present he should give me, so he asked her if throwing an after party would please me… This kind of after:
The type that includes a marvelous cake (that I wasn’t able to finish because it was my third dessert of the night) and a few bottles of champagne (« Ambassadeur » cake make you feel thirsty…). The type that includes names such as Hermes (plates), Christofle (silverware) and Saint Louis (crystal glasses). Because « you worth it ». This person definitely knows how to flatter the vain girl in me! In the end, it took me the whole Sunday to recover, drinking only green tea… Well, I suppose that, once in a while, it’s ok!
Monday was the day reserved to friends: lunch downtown with my best friend, enjoying the sun and the warm weather and dinner with the « high school troops » (name given by Mom). It was nice to see that, even if we all grew older, none of them have changed… Unfortunately, as most of them had to work on Tuesday, we parted quite early. But, as we’ll probably gather again in December, I didn’t come back home too teary (yeah, I’m a crybaby)!
Tuesday was another day full of fun: my godmother had received a Mac Book for her 70th birthday. Thing is: she almost never touched a computer in her life (perhaps thinking that the machine will eat her alive). I had to explain her how it works, how to send and read emails, manage her bank account online, book train tickets, search things… Her comments were priceless, such as « are you sure this thing (talking about Google) won’t cause WWIII? That’s ok Mad, we play safe here! Her astonishment while watching pictures on online galleries was sweet. But I’m afraid I might not have been a good tutor: after a whole day spent on the Mac, we still haven’t seen everything! I might have more to tell you in the future!
Wednesday was a little sad, as I had to pack my things to get back… Well I’ll probably go back in November so I have more than enough time to rest a little before my heart starts going up and down again!
Starting with my grandmother funerals. When I came back to Lyon last week, I was worried about my father: the bond between the mother and the son has developed since Granny left her hometown to live in Lyon and I honestly didn’t know how he felt about losing not only the one who gave him life, but also the person he spent every day with for five years. Well, I shouldn’t have thought too much about it, as he seems perfectly fine with it. Well, as perfect as someone can feel in this kind of situation. I wished I could say the same thing about his eldest brother too… Unfortunately, my uncle and his wife didn’t disappoint me and misbehaved the whole day. So much that even Dad and his sister noticed it. I felt bad for the four of them: my uncle and his wife for not being able to read the situation (and hide their money crave), my aunt and my father for seeing the image of their family crumble in such a day. Let’s hope the tree siblings will find a way to work things out in a near future: what I wish to remember about that day isn’t the trivial family issues, but the light grey sky, the scent of my grand parents garden’s roses at the cemetery, the smiles exchanged with my cousins during the family lunch and, moreover, the peaceful moment we all shared at the church.
Second loop of the rollercoaster: the fight with my brother. The both of us have never been closed. I don’t know why. I wish I could say it bothers me but it would be a lie. I care for him (we spend nearly fifteen years under the same roof after all), but I don’t think I like him that much. And I can’t stand the way he has to come inside the family circle, talk (not to say give orders) and then leave me dealing with the consequences of his words/acts. I’m fed up with his habit to take the space around him, not really caring if someone else is there or not. I wish my mother could understand that this is one of the reasons that make me feel like I’m not a part of this family, no mater what she says when he’s not here. I wish I wasn’t transparent (or non existent) when it’s convenient for them… As a consequence, I wasn’t really optimistic when Saturday and my family Birthday dinner. Yes, I was born in January. And yes, we celebrated it in October… It took my mother this long to convince me to attend my own birthday dinner. After months of negotiations about the length of the guest list and the location, we agreed on a small gathering a restaurant. Well, if the location was kept secret until the last minute, I’ve been able to manage the invitations on my own (and cut the initial list by three…). Eight was a good number. I think every one had its share of fun. The food was great, the wine flew perhaps a little too much, but what I’ll remember until my last day will be the « after party » hold by one of the guest. This person isn’t technically part of the family, but he’s been probably the second name I thought about (after my godfather). Mum explained me that I didn’t know what present he should give me, so he asked her if throwing an after party would please me… This kind of after:
The type that includes a marvelous cake (that I wasn’t able to finish because it was my third dessert of the night) and a few bottles of champagne (« Ambassadeur » cake make you feel thirsty…). The type that includes names such as Hermes (plates), Christofle (silverware) and Saint Louis (crystal glasses). Because « you worth it ». This person definitely knows how to flatter the vain girl in me! In the end, it took me the whole Sunday to recover, drinking only green tea… Well, I suppose that, once in a while, it’s ok!
Monday was the day reserved to friends: lunch downtown with my best friend, enjoying the sun and the warm weather and dinner with the « high school troops » (name given by Mom). It was nice to see that, even if we all grew older, none of them have changed… Unfortunately, as most of them had to work on Tuesday, we parted quite early. But, as we’ll probably gather again in December, I didn’t come back home too teary (yeah, I’m a crybaby)!
Tuesday was another day full of fun: my godmother had received a Mac Book for her 70th birthday. Thing is: she almost never touched a computer in her life (perhaps thinking that the machine will eat her alive). I had to explain her how it works, how to send and read emails, manage her bank account online, book train tickets, search things… Her comments were priceless, such as « are you sure this thing (talking about Google) won’t cause WWIII? That’s ok Mad, we play safe here! Her astonishment while watching pictures on online galleries was sweet. But I’m afraid I might not have been a good tutor: after a whole day spent on the Mac, we still haven’t seen everything! I might have more to tell you in the future!
Wednesday was a little sad, as I had to pack my things to get back… Well I’ll probably go back in November so I have more than enough time to rest a little before my heart starts going up and down again!