The power over you....
... you wouldn't think, that opening an envelope that contained things you -knew- already, things that recorded your education a decade ago would bring tears to your eyes.
But it did to mine.
Here was a paper staring me in the face- telling me that not only DID I do whatever I want I still *CAN* do whatever I wanted.
3.8 gpa, ranked 52 out of 444 graduates.... my ACT score was a 28 with me being in the 93rd precentile.....
plain- line dot printer paper- not a damn thing special about it
But here was undeniable proof that my low self esteem about what I can and can't do is a crock of shit. Here is the evidence of the years I spent under that asshole, and shitty so called 'friends' that as soon as they had a chance or a change of heart would bad mouth me both to my back and to my face because of THEIR self esteem- of their "ideals".
More than just the evidence of my first two years of college, the knowledge of a scholarship- the gpa and honors classes.
This was before I left- when I was in a 3 year relationship with an asshole that raped me... and I still managed to be in the top of my class... I exceeded most of the state- most of the bloody nation- with what I pulled away from highschool...
I will never be what I had been labeled.
I am not stupid.
I am not simple.
I'm not an idiot or dumb.
I am not the dirty names you and yours have called me. I am not the foul language that has been thrown at me.
I am not the innocent, naive, child.
I am not a trick-dog for others enjoyment.
I will not be a victim after I have been victimized. No more. Not ever again.
Years... of being told I'm stupid by the father of my son. Years of others treating me like a pet that's there for amusement value only. Few ever taking me seriously because " oh it's just Kat".
Years of me believing it.
I stared at this paper and I cried. Who could blame me for it? Here was truth- that I was blind against for so long- and it was staring at me in a language that no one could ignore or deny the validity of.
I can reach for the stars- they are my home.
Never allow anyone to deny your intelligence. Never believe it. You are as smart as you think you are- always. Do not allow others to remake you for a moment- not in their jealousy, not for their pleasure. There have been wrongs made against me by ignorant people that I am righting now. Sure, I've the scars. Stuff like that Teaches though. I'll be damned if I don't try and rise to meet it.
But it did to mine.
Here was a paper staring me in the face- telling me that not only DID I do whatever I want I still *CAN* do whatever I wanted.
3.8 gpa, ranked 52 out of 444 graduates.... my ACT score was a 28 with me being in the 93rd precentile.....
plain- line dot printer paper- not a damn thing special about it
But here was undeniable proof that my low self esteem about what I can and can't do is a crock of shit. Here is the evidence of the years I spent under that asshole, and shitty so called 'friends' that as soon as they had a chance or a change of heart would bad mouth me both to my back and to my face because of THEIR self esteem- of their "ideals".
More than just the evidence of my first two years of college, the knowledge of a scholarship- the gpa and honors classes.
This was before I left- when I was in a 3 year relationship with an asshole that raped me... and I still managed to be in the top of my class... I exceeded most of the state- most of the bloody nation- with what I pulled away from highschool...
I will never be what I had been labeled.
I am not stupid.
I am not simple.
I'm not an idiot or dumb.
I am not the dirty names you and yours have called me. I am not the foul language that has been thrown at me.
I am not the innocent, naive, child.
I am not a trick-dog for others enjoyment.
I will not be a victim after I have been victimized. No more. Not ever again.
Years... of being told I'm stupid by the father of my son. Years of others treating me like a pet that's there for amusement value only. Few ever taking me seriously because " oh it's just Kat".
Years of me believing it.
I stared at this paper and I cried. Who could blame me for it? Here was truth- that I was blind against for so long- and it was staring at me in a language that no one could ignore or deny the validity of.
I can reach for the stars- they are my home.
Never allow anyone to deny your intelligence. Never believe it. You are as smart as you think you are- always. Do not allow others to remake you for a moment- not in their jealousy, not for their pleasure. There have been wrongs made against me by ignorant people that I am righting now. Sure, I've the scars. Stuff like that Teaches though. I'll be damned if I don't try and rise to meet it.