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[cloudicus]

Ok that lasted like 12 hours but I need opinions on an ethical dilemma from people who are not my ridiculous stiff-upper-lip family

Comments

[deternot]

Yeah, I'm totally on your side with this one. I mean ultimately it is up to him but you should definitely present your opinions to him and what it felt like for you not seeing your granddad. I mean, yeah, it will be shocking but he's 16 not 6, shocking things happen in life and you can't give up experiences with people you care about just to avoid discomfort. The majority of his memories will still be of when she was healthy. Seeing her sick with be a strong memory but time passes and he'll gain distance from it.

[cloudicus]

Thanks, yeah that's basically what I think, glad I'm not alone in that

[sharply_unclear]

aww hey you should post whenever you want to ok <3

and i'm with you too. all of my grandparents died when i was pretty young and i'm really thankful i got to see them before they went, and i think i would have totally regretted not going. ngl it was scary at the time (my one granddad died when i was 6) but i could tell they were glad to see me, and esp if your brother hasn't seen your nana in forever i'm sure it would mean a lot to her too?

[cloudicus]

omg i have so much lj posting angst you don't even know, I am ridiculous, but ty <3

Yeah, I remember going to see my other grandad when I was 9 and I'm glad I went even tho it was horrible. The thing is tho she might not know what's going on? Like she thought she was a spy for weeks etc

[sharply_unclear]

lol sadly i understand (i'm sitting on an entry right now i just can't post bc you know it's emo what if people will judge me for my emoness omg) but yeah i think you should post whatever you want. maybe a filter would help? <3

and when i said goodbye to my grandma it was a little traumatizing too - i think i was 17 at the time? so not that much away from your brother agewise - but i'm still glad i went. and oooh that's hard :( but sometimes people notice more than you think they do idk :(

either way, lots of hugs for you <3 i'm sorry this is happening <3

[cloudicus]

At least I'm not alone in this <3 aww you should definitely post it though <3333 lol i do have one but it doesn't really help ;~;

Yeah that's true, and she is lucid sometimes

Ty <3333 2011 is the worst

[tompettysongs]

i think you're right. when my aunt was dying of cancer, i couldn't bear to go visit her in the hospital or be around her too long when she was feeling ill from chemotherapy. i have had nothing but regrets about that since she died. but when my grandma was sick this past winter, i made sure i went to visit her in the hospital/rehab facility every day on my way home from work. although it was hard to watch her decline, i found it a lot easier to grieve for her because it didn't feel so sudden, if that makes sense? i remember my aunt being happy and healthy and full of life so it's just so much weirder to think that she's dead. i don't know how much of that is due to the age difference (barely 18 when my aunt died, 27 when my grandma did). but yeah, i think you're right.

[softxasxsilence]

it was really important to me that i got to see my grandmother before she passed away, even though it was also a shock and scary for me, seeing her so sick. i think he'll regret it later if he doesn't see her. it was the same for my aunt and uncle who passed earlier this year.

also, when my grandfather had heart surgery when my brother and i were little, we visited him in the hospital and then at home as well and helped him take a short walk down past a couple neighbors' houses and back. he didn't die, but it was a scary time for my family, and now that it's passed, those are really cherished memories

SO ENCOURAGE HIM, is what i'm saying

also, i'm very sorry that she's sick and things are looking so bad. ♥ ♥

[lovelier]

I would say it would depend on your nana's mood. I saw both my Mommom (dad's mom) and my great grandmother right before they passed on, and, to be honest, I don't think I would have regretted it if I had not