Oh another school day
Ohh school is tiring beyond belief. I had no idea how tired I was until I laid down and went to sleep. And then woke up about three hours later. And I'm still pretty tired and I bet I could go back to sleep. I will soon, especially since I don't have to actually do anything for tomorrow. I've ot some good stuff going on in the morning tomorrow, so I've got to be ready to go around 10, instead on 12pm, but that's ok. My classes are fun. I'm speaking up more in them. I know someone from Myspace in my astronomy class. We both met for the first time in "real life" today, it was weird. Almost awkward, but kind of ok. It's hard when you've got ten minutes before class and ten minutes after to talk, but at least I know someone. I think we'll sit next to each other for the most class. My spanish teacher actually likes me. I'm trying to speak up more and pay attention. I know what's going on, or most of it. I've been able to pull an answer out of my ass on each occasion and it's been right each time. This makes me so ecstatic. And I've got a tutoring session for it on Monday. This semester, hopefully, will turn out better than the last. I ended up with a B in my winter class! I know I should've gotten an A, but I was kind of expecting a C. Which means a B, wonderful. My gpa is slowly climbing. I am only 6 points away from where I need to be. Here I go. Let's see what happens.
I am also grumpy and bitchy. I want someone to talk to on a regular basis. I want to look forward to talking to this person and enjoy myself tremendously when I am talking to them. I want them to feel the same way about me. I want their face to light up when I call and I want them to get excited about calling me. I want this. I don't need a significant other right now. I just want the shell of one. I want the best friend, someone who is as lonely as I and understands the need for companionship. I love Wendy dearly and we were perfect for each other when neither of us had anyone else. But now, she has Michael. And when we speak, she is always trying to get off the phone, to speak with Michael, to see Michael. And I don't blame her. When I am in her situation, I feel the urge to get off the phone, to stop speaking with anyone but that one person. BUT I want that one person. I want that person. How do I find that person? I want to be able to sit next to someone and enjoy the silence, to value each other's presence as much as we value each other's words and thoughts. Being so lonely sometimes it physically hurts, no good. It makes me want to settle for less. But then I can't. I can't let myself down in that way either. Stupid people. Even if I had my cat, that would help tremendously. I miss my cat so much. Even if he didn't converse back, he still listened and cuddled with me. :(
I am also grumpy and bitchy. I want someone to talk to on a regular basis. I want to look forward to talking to this person and enjoy myself tremendously when I am talking to them. I want them to feel the same way about me. I want their face to light up when I call and I want them to get excited about calling me. I want this. I don't need a significant other right now. I just want the shell of one. I want the best friend, someone who is as lonely as I and understands the need for companionship. I love Wendy dearly and we were perfect for each other when neither of us had anyone else. But now, she has Michael. And when we speak, she is always trying to get off the phone, to speak with Michael, to see Michael. And I don't blame her. When I am in her situation, I feel the urge to get off the phone, to stop speaking with anyone but that one person. BUT I want that one person. I want that person. How do I find that person? I want to be able to sit next to someone and enjoy the silence, to value each other's presence as much as we value each other's words and thoughts. Being so lonely sometimes it physically hurts, no good. It makes me want to settle for less. But then I can't. I can't let myself down in that way either. Stupid people. Even if I had my cat, that would help tremendously. I miss my cat so much. Even if he didn't converse back, he still listened and cuddled with me. :(