(no subject)
i'm done.....i'm going into the counselours on the 29th to talk them into allowing me to drop ap calc at semester time to take data analysis. i'm tired of the stress of thinking i know and then royally fucking up on my tests, this isn't good frustrating it's degragatory frustrating so bad that i broke down, i feel stupid and moronic and it's not worth it for some class i don't even need for my major. how ironic that the one class i understood fairly well last year was precalc and apparently everything we learned in precalc is crap for ap calc. i want to challenge myself but not this way, it's not healthy for me, and i'm not learning anything except that i suck royally. today we read a story in ap english that made so much sense to this: leinger is a good teach but that's just it she teaches but doesn't help people learn, i'm stuck in a corner and can't be helped until i'm behind, at least that's what she told me yesterday...yes i'm giving up on a lot lately but the more i think about it these things aren't important to me, they aren't making me happy, they aren't something i want to do, they're something i'm expected to do and i'm done with that. i just wish i'd realized this sooner and maybe had slightly less stress this year but what's done is done and i can only hope to mend it...