Study Buddies! - Chapter 13
Title: Study Buddies!
Rating: T
Summary: The shinigami have to attend school while on their mission. Stupidity follows.
Disclaimer: I don't own a lot of things.
“Okay class, we are done with baroque composers! Now….”
The class erupted into fits of joy, well, most of the class, some thought that was beneath them. (You know who.) The torture was finally over.
“Settle down. I said, settle down. SETTLE DOWN!” The class settled down. “Our next area of study is….MUSICALS! Isn’t that exciting?” exclaimed Fuji-sensei.
The class just stared back as if they thought he was crazy.
“I told you he was gay,” one student whispered to another.
“Yeah, what straight guy likes musicals?”
“Do you mean Japanese musicals?”
“No, Broadway musicals. Now, for the first assignment, you are matching songs with the correct musical.”
“I thought he was going to say we were going to sing them,” whispered Ikkaku to Renji.
“How very perceptive of you, Madarame! You shall indeed be singing these songs. But, I want you to look them up so you have some clue what’s in store for you.” Insert maniacal laughter. “Excuse me; I lost myself for a bit. Now, here are the worksheets. Good luck.”
The bell rang. The class picked up the sheets as they left.
--Ichigo’s House--
“Musicals! Why the hell do we have to learn about musicals!” ranted Ikkaku.
“I think some musicals are quite beautiful,” said Yumichika.
“Ichigo, what’s a musical?” asked Rukia.
“Yeah, what is a musical?” asked Ikkaku.
“How can you rant about musicals and not know what it is?” asked Ichigo.
“It sounds girly, and Yumichika likes it. We don’t agree on a lot of things.”
“I see. Anyway, a musical is basically…a play, with lots of singing and dancing.”
“It is girly!”
“So, how are we supposed to know what songs go to what musical?” asked Matsumoto.
“Well, Fuji-sensei probably went with musicals we should know.”
“You mean, you should know, since you are from here,” said Renji.
“When I said ‘we’ I meant the class.”
“Really? My bad.”
“Can we just start the assignment?” snapped Hitsugaya.
“What? You haven’t done it?” asked Ikkaku.
“No.”
“Oh my god! Something the tensai doesn’t know!” exclaimed everyone excluding Hitsugaya and Ichigo.
“How the hell am I supposed to know about musicals when I’ve been dead like the rest of you!”
“Fair point,” said Matsumoto.
“Whatever,” said Ikkaku. “I’m relishing in the fact that he doesn’t know everything.”
“I would shut up, if you know what’s good for you,” said Hitsugaya with a glare directed to the bald one.
“Oh my god!” exclaimed Yumichika. “That is such a disgusting name for a song.”
“What is?” asked Rukia.
“The first song on the page.”
Everyone looked down at the first song. It read as thus: ‘The Internet Is For Porn’.
“What the hell?” said Renji.
“Well, a bunch of perverts do use the internet for porn,” said Ichigo.
“What’s the internet?” asked Rukia.
“I’ll explain it later.”
“But…”
“Later. It will take too long to explain now.”
“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Do you know what musical is from?” asked Yumichika.
“No. Let’s just come back to it later. Process of elimination, it always works. Anyways, what are the musicals?”
“Let’s see: Avenue Q, Monty Python’s Spamalot, Grease, 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Producers, The Sound of Music, Cabaret….”
“Isn’t cabaret the French word for whore house?” asked Ichigo.
“Isn’t it amazing how the French can make such an ugly thing sound beautiful,” said Yumichika wistfully.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“May I continue?” asked Matsumoto, a little testily.
“Yes.”
“Rent, Sweeny Todd, Wicked, The Little Shop of Horrors, and West Side Story”
“Do you know any of those?” asked Renji.
“I know some.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“Okay, the next song is, ‘Mooning’,” read Rukia.
“Um…I don’t know. Let’s just skip it.”
“That one’s a little obvious,” commented Hitsugaya.
“Which one?”
“‘The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.’”
“Yeah…it is.”
“One down, a lot more to go,” said Renji.
“Um…I think ‘Seasons of Love’ is from Rent,” said Ichigo.
“Are you sure?” asked Rukia.
“Yeah.”
“How do you know this?” asked Ikkaku. “Do you make it a point to go and see musicals? Is that it? Are you…” WHAM! Ichigo’s fist connected with Ikkaku’s face.
“Shut up. They made it into a movie and Yuzu dragged us off to go see it.”
“Sure she did,” said Ikkaku sarcastically, and was rewarded with another punch.
“‘Springtime for Hitler’?”
“That’s from The Producers. It’s a really funny song.”
“D…” Ichigo had punched him before he could get his taunt out.
“Made it into a movie, saw it.”
“S..” And once again Ichigo punched him before he could say a word.
“He doesn’t think,” said Hitsugaya.
“You’re in a violent mood today,” commented Matsumoto.
“What’s the next song?” asked Ichigo through gritted teeth.
“‘You Won’t Succeed On Broadway,’” read Yumichika, completely unfazed by Ikkaku being attacked.
“Some friend you are,” Ikkaku muttered.
“Have no idea. Next.”
“‘Little Priest’.”
“Once again…”
“You don’t know,” Hitsugaya finished for him. This earned Hitsugaya a glare from Ichigo, which he returned.
“‘I Feel Pretty.’ Oh, I like the name of this song.”
“That’s from West Side Story. It was made into a movie.”
“They sure make a lot of musicals into movies,” commented Renji.
“I think it’s because they do so good on Broadway that they want to earn more money, so they make them into movies.”
“By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask. What’s Broadway?”
“Broadway is a street in New York City. A street famous for all the musicals that show there.”
“Oh, okay.”
“The next song is ‘The Ballad of Sweeny Todd.’ Okay, that one’s pretty self explanatory. Next is ‘We Go Together.’”
“That’s from Grease.”
“Let me guess,” said Ikkaku. “It was made into a movie.”
“Yes.”
“The next song is ‘My Favorite Things,’” read Yumichika.
“Everyone knows that’s from The Sound of Music.”
“Really?” asked Ikkaku
“Yeah, that song has always been associated with that musical.”
“Was it made into a movie?”
“Yeah.”
“There seems to be a recurring thing going on here.”
“Which everyone else figured out awhile ago,” said Ichigo with a look of ‘you-are-so-stupid.’
“They did? When?”
“Back when we were discussing ‘I Feel Pretty.’”
“Oh.”
“‘Gee, Officer Krupke!’”
“That’s just ironic.”
“What’s ironic?” asked Matsumoto.
“I was talking to Ikkaku about ‘I Feel Pretty,’ which is from West Side Story, and the next song is from the same musical.”
“Eh, you’re right.”
“This is a rather…unique…name. ‘Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist.’”
“…”
“I don’t know,” said Ichigo, looking very surprised that such a song would even exist. In fact, most of them had a look like that on their face as well. You all know who didn’t.
“Another song with a unique name. ‘I’m Not That Smart.’”
“That should be the song Ikkaku sings,” commented Hitsugaya.
“I agree,” said Ichigo.
“Hey!” exclaimed Ikkaku. “I’m…” He was silenced as the two glared at him.
“Nobody knows the musical?” asked Rukia.
“No.”
“‘Skid Row (Downtown)’.”
“That’s from The Little Shop of Horrors.”
“Also made into a movie, I suppose,” said Hitsugaya.
“Actually, I think it started out as a movie, became a musical, then a movie again.”
“Fascinating.”
“The next song is ‘Prisoners of Love.’
“Um…I think that’s from The Producers as well.”
“Okay then. Wait, why does it go from something like ‘Springtime for Hitler,’ to ‘Prisoners of Love?’” asked Renji.
“Cause it’s about two guys trying to make money by producing a flop. Springtime for Hitler is the musical they put on, but it does too good, so they blow up the theatre, get arrested, and produce Prisoners of Love in jail.”
“Okay then.”
“‘Pandemonium.’”
“Have no clue.”
“‘Willkommen.’ German, such an ugly sounding language.”
“You’ve said that before,” said Matsumoto.
“Really, when?”
“When Hitsugaya had to teach us German cause Ichigo walked out on us.”
“I tend to forget ugly things.”
“Obviously.”
“Do we know what musical it’s from?” asked Ikkaku.
“Um…maybe it’s from The Producers cause Hitler’s from Germany and all that,” said Ichigo.
“Do you really know?” asked Hitsugaya.
“No, but that seems about right. It’s not like we have any other logical choice.”
“If you say so.”
“‘Somewhere That’s Green,’” read Yumichika.
“Little Shop of Horrors.”
“‘Der Guten Tag Hop Clop.’”
“The Producers.”
“Let me guess, because it’s German and Hitler was from Germany,” said Ikkaku.
“No, I remember that song because it was so stupid and it’s was supposed to be Hitler’s favorite song.”
“Really? How was it stupid?” asked Rukia.
“You’ll just have to wait until someone sings it.”
“You don’t remember, do you?” asked Hitsugaya.
“…Yes, I don’t remember it. Next song.”
“‘Keep It Gay.’”
“I don’t know.”
“‘Schadenfreude.’”
“I’m gonna go with The Producers.”
“Cause it’s German,” taunted Hitsugaya.
“Yeah,” said Ichigo with a glare at Hitsugaya. “It’s not like you know them.”
Hitsugaya glared back.
“Hey Ichigo, do you know where the next song is from?” asked Matsumoto quickly, hoping to insure no violence between Hitsugaya and Ichigo. She didn’t care what happened to baldy, but she did about Hitsugaya.
“Uh…what’s the next song?”
“‘Dentist!’”
“That’s from…Little Shop of Horrors.”
“Now all we need to do is guess on the ones we don’t know,” said Renji.
“Right. Back to the beginning. Ummm….since the first song is about porn, I think it should go with Cabaret.”
“That makes sense,” said Rukia.
Hitsugaya looked skeptical, but put it down anyways.
“… ‘You Won’t Succeed On Broadway’… anyone have any ideas?”
“I’ve got it!” exclaimed Rukia. “It’s from Avenue Q, since an avenue is a name for a street and Broadway is a street!”
“Sure, why not?”
“That brings us back to ‘Little Priest,’” said Yumichika.
“Hm…maybe it’s with Monty Python’s Spamalot, since Spamalot sounds a lot like Camelot, and there may have been a priest involved.”
“‘Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist?’”
“Anyone?”
“Um…let’s just put it with Sweeny Todd, cause we have no clue what it’s about. Maybe this Sweeny Todd person is racist and is singing about everyone being racist,” suggested Renji.
“I think ‘I’m Not Smart’ goes with Putnam County,” said Hitsugaya, “since it’s about a spelling bee and you have to be smart to spell all the words in a spelling bee.”
“Brilliant, taichou!” exclaimed Matsumoto.
“It’s called ‘going with your gut feeling.’”
“‘Pandemonium’….I think that should go with Sweeny Todd,” said Yumichika. “Seeing as we have no clue what it is about.”
“Since everyone is guessing, I’ll give it a shot. ‘Keep It Gay’ probably goes with Cabaret,” said Ikkaku.
“Why?” asked Ichigo and Hitsugaya in unison.
“Why not?”
“Oh,” said Matsumoto. “We almost forgot ‘Mooning.’”
“…I think,” said Ichigo hesitantly. “I think that ‘Mooning’ is a song the left out of the Grease movie. I read about it somewhere.”
“Why didn’t you say that earlier?” snapped Ikkaku.
“Cause I wasn’t sure, idiot!”
“Idiot! Why….” Matsumoto punched Ikkaku.
“Calm down, baldy. You should be used to people calling you stupid by now.”
Ikkaku glared at her.
“Well, goodbye,” Matsumoto said as she and Hitsugaya left.
“Yes, goodbye,” said Yumichika as he and Ikkaku followed the two out the door.
“Singing Broadway show tunes, huh,” said Ichigo as he collapsed on his bed. “It be interesting to see Ikkaku sing.”
“And it’d be interesting to see you sing,” Rukia said in a sing-song voice as she left his room.
“Ugh,” Ichigo groaned into his pillow. Stupid teachers.
Rating: T
Summary: The shinigami have to attend school while on their mission. Stupidity follows.
Disclaimer: I don't own a lot of things.
“Okay class, we are done with baroque composers! Now….”
The class erupted into fits of joy, well, most of the class, some thought that was beneath them. (You know who.) The torture was finally over.
“Settle down. I said, settle down. SETTLE DOWN!” The class settled down. “Our next area of study is….MUSICALS! Isn’t that exciting?” exclaimed Fuji-sensei.
The class just stared back as if they thought he was crazy.
“I told you he was gay,” one student whispered to another.
“Yeah, what straight guy likes musicals?”
“Do you mean Japanese musicals?”
“No, Broadway musicals. Now, for the first assignment, you are matching songs with the correct musical.”
“I thought he was going to say we were going to sing them,” whispered Ikkaku to Renji.
“How very perceptive of you, Madarame! You shall indeed be singing these songs. But, I want you to look them up so you have some clue what’s in store for you.” Insert maniacal laughter. “Excuse me; I lost myself for a bit. Now, here are the worksheets. Good luck.”
The bell rang. The class picked up the sheets as they left.
--Ichigo’s House--
“Musicals! Why the hell do we have to learn about musicals!” ranted Ikkaku.
“I think some musicals are quite beautiful,” said Yumichika.
“Ichigo, what’s a musical?” asked Rukia.
“Yeah, what is a musical?” asked Ikkaku.
“How can you rant about musicals and not know what it is?” asked Ichigo.
“It sounds girly, and Yumichika likes it. We don’t agree on a lot of things.”
“I see. Anyway, a musical is basically…a play, with lots of singing and dancing.”
“It is girly!”
“So, how are we supposed to know what songs go to what musical?” asked Matsumoto.
“Well, Fuji-sensei probably went with musicals we should know.”
“You mean, you should know, since you are from here,” said Renji.
“When I said ‘we’ I meant the class.”
“Really? My bad.”
“Can we just start the assignment?” snapped Hitsugaya.
“What? You haven’t done it?” asked Ikkaku.
“No.”
“Oh my god! Something the tensai doesn’t know!” exclaimed everyone excluding Hitsugaya and Ichigo.
“How the hell am I supposed to know about musicals when I’ve been dead like the rest of you!”
“Fair point,” said Matsumoto.
“Whatever,” said Ikkaku. “I’m relishing in the fact that he doesn’t know everything.”
“I would shut up, if you know what’s good for you,” said Hitsugaya with a glare directed to the bald one.
“Oh my god!” exclaimed Yumichika. “That is such a disgusting name for a song.”
“What is?” asked Rukia.
“The first song on the page.”
Everyone looked down at the first song. It read as thus: ‘The Internet Is For Porn’.
“What the hell?” said Renji.
“Well, a bunch of perverts do use the internet for porn,” said Ichigo.
“What’s the internet?” asked Rukia.
“I’ll explain it later.”
“But…”
“Later. It will take too long to explain now.”
“Fine,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Do you know what musical is from?” asked Yumichika.
“No. Let’s just come back to it later. Process of elimination, it always works. Anyways, what are the musicals?”
“Let’s see: Avenue Q, Monty Python’s Spamalot, Grease, 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, The Producers, The Sound of Music, Cabaret….”
“Isn’t cabaret the French word for whore house?” asked Ichigo.
“Isn’t it amazing how the French can make such an ugly thing sound beautiful,” said Yumichika wistfully.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“May I continue?” asked Matsumoto, a little testily.
“Yes.”
“Rent, Sweeny Todd, Wicked, The Little Shop of Horrors, and West Side Story”
“Do you know any of those?” asked Renji.
“I know some.”
“Well, that’s good.”
“Okay, the next song is, ‘Mooning’,” read Rukia.
“Um…I don’t know. Let’s just skip it.”
“That one’s a little obvious,” commented Hitsugaya.
“Which one?”
“‘The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.’”
“Yeah…it is.”
“One down, a lot more to go,” said Renji.
“Um…I think ‘Seasons of Love’ is from Rent,” said Ichigo.
“Are you sure?” asked Rukia.
“Yeah.”
“How do you know this?” asked Ikkaku. “Do you make it a point to go and see musicals? Is that it? Are you…” WHAM! Ichigo’s fist connected with Ikkaku’s face.
“Shut up. They made it into a movie and Yuzu dragged us off to go see it.”
“Sure she did,” said Ikkaku sarcastically, and was rewarded with another punch.
“‘Springtime for Hitler’?”
“That’s from The Producers. It’s a really funny song.”
“D…” Ichigo had punched him before he could get his taunt out.
“Made it into a movie, saw it.”
“S..” And once again Ichigo punched him before he could say a word.
“He doesn’t think,” said Hitsugaya.
“You’re in a violent mood today,” commented Matsumoto.
“What’s the next song?” asked Ichigo through gritted teeth.
“‘You Won’t Succeed On Broadway,’” read Yumichika, completely unfazed by Ikkaku being attacked.
“Some friend you are,” Ikkaku muttered.
“Have no idea. Next.”
“‘Little Priest’.”
“Once again…”
“You don’t know,” Hitsugaya finished for him. This earned Hitsugaya a glare from Ichigo, which he returned.
“‘I Feel Pretty.’ Oh, I like the name of this song.”
“That’s from West Side Story. It was made into a movie.”
“They sure make a lot of musicals into movies,” commented Renji.
“I think it’s because they do so good on Broadway that they want to earn more money, so they make them into movies.”
“By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask. What’s Broadway?”
“Broadway is a street in New York City. A street famous for all the musicals that show there.”
“Oh, okay.”
“The next song is ‘The Ballad of Sweeny Todd.’ Okay, that one’s pretty self explanatory. Next is ‘We Go Together.’”
“That’s from Grease.”
“Let me guess,” said Ikkaku. “It was made into a movie.”
“Yes.”
“The next song is ‘My Favorite Things,’” read Yumichika.
“Everyone knows that’s from The Sound of Music.”
“Really?” asked Ikkaku
“Yeah, that song has always been associated with that musical.”
“Was it made into a movie?”
“Yeah.”
“There seems to be a recurring thing going on here.”
“Which everyone else figured out awhile ago,” said Ichigo with a look of ‘you-are-so-stupid.’
“They did? When?”
“Back when we were discussing ‘I Feel Pretty.’”
“Oh.”
“‘Gee, Officer Krupke!’”
“That’s just ironic.”
“What’s ironic?” asked Matsumoto.
“I was talking to Ikkaku about ‘I Feel Pretty,’ which is from West Side Story, and the next song is from the same musical.”
“Eh, you’re right.”
“This is a rather…unique…name. ‘Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist.’”
“…”
“I don’t know,” said Ichigo, looking very surprised that such a song would even exist. In fact, most of them had a look like that on their face as well. You all know who didn’t.
“Another song with a unique name. ‘I’m Not That Smart.’”
“That should be the song Ikkaku sings,” commented Hitsugaya.
“I agree,” said Ichigo.
“Hey!” exclaimed Ikkaku. “I’m…” He was silenced as the two glared at him.
“Nobody knows the musical?” asked Rukia.
“No.”
“‘Skid Row (Downtown)’.”
“That’s from The Little Shop of Horrors.”
“Also made into a movie, I suppose,” said Hitsugaya.
“Actually, I think it started out as a movie, became a musical, then a movie again.”
“Fascinating.”
“The next song is ‘Prisoners of Love.’
“Um…I think that’s from The Producers as well.”
“Okay then. Wait, why does it go from something like ‘Springtime for Hitler,’ to ‘Prisoners of Love?’” asked Renji.
“Cause it’s about two guys trying to make money by producing a flop. Springtime for Hitler is the musical they put on, but it does too good, so they blow up the theatre, get arrested, and produce Prisoners of Love in jail.”
“Okay then.”
“‘Pandemonium.’”
“Have no clue.”
“‘Willkommen.’ German, such an ugly sounding language.”
“You’ve said that before,” said Matsumoto.
“Really, when?”
“When Hitsugaya had to teach us German cause Ichigo walked out on us.”
“I tend to forget ugly things.”
“Obviously.”
“Do we know what musical it’s from?” asked Ikkaku.
“Um…maybe it’s from The Producers cause Hitler’s from Germany and all that,” said Ichigo.
“Do you really know?” asked Hitsugaya.
“No, but that seems about right. It’s not like we have any other logical choice.”
“If you say so.”
“‘Somewhere That’s Green,’” read Yumichika.
“Little Shop of Horrors.”
“‘Der Guten Tag Hop Clop.’”
“The Producers.”
“Let me guess, because it’s German and Hitler was from Germany,” said Ikkaku.
“No, I remember that song because it was so stupid and it’s was supposed to be Hitler’s favorite song.”
“Really? How was it stupid?” asked Rukia.
“You’ll just have to wait until someone sings it.”
“You don’t remember, do you?” asked Hitsugaya.
“…Yes, I don’t remember it. Next song.”
“‘Keep It Gay.’”
“I don’t know.”
“‘Schadenfreude.’”
“I’m gonna go with The Producers.”
“Cause it’s German,” taunted Hitsugaya.
“Yeah,” said Ichigo with a glare at Hitsugaya. “It’s not like you know them.”
Hitsugaya glared back.
“Hey Ichigo, do you know where the next song is from?” asked Matsumoto quickly, hoping to insure no violence between Hitsugaya and Ichigo. She didn’t care what happened to baldy, but she did about Hitsugaya.
“Uh…what’s the next song?”
“‘Dentist!’”
“That’s from…Little Shop of Horrors.”
“Now all we need to do is guess on the ones we don’t know,” said Renji.
“Right. Back to the beginning. Ummm….since the first song is about porn, I think it should go with Cabaret.”
“That makes sense,” said Rukia.
Hitsugaya looked skeptical, but put it down anyways.
“… ‘You Won’t Succeed On Broadway’… anyone have any ideas?”
“I’ve got it!” exclaimed Rukia. “It’s from Avenue Q, since an avenue is a name for a street and Broadway is a street!”
“Sure, why not?”
“That brings us back to ‘Little Priest,’” said Yumichika.
“Hm…maybe it’s with Monty Python’s Spamalot, since Spamalot sounds a lot like Camelot, and there may have been a priest involved.”
“‘Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist?’”
“Anyone?”
“Um…let’s just put it with Sweeny Todd, cause we have no clue what it’s about. Maybe this Sweeny Todd person is racist and is singing about everyone being racist,” suggested Renji.
“I think ‘I’m Not Smart’ goes with Putnam County,” said Hitsugaya, “since it’s about a spelling bee and you have to be smart to spell all the words in a spelling bee.”
“Brilliant, taichou!” exclaimed Matsumoto.
“It’s called ‘going with your gut feeling.’”
“‘Pandemonium’….I think that should go with Sweeny Todd,” said Yumichika. “Seeing as we have no clue what it is about.”
“Since everyone is guessing, I’ll give it a shot. ‘Keep It Gay’ probably goes with Cabaret,” said Ikkaku.
“Why?” asked Ichigo and Hitsugaya in unison.
“Why not?”
“Oh,” said Matsumoto. “We almost forgot ‘Mooning.’”
“…I think,” said Ichigo hesitantly. “I think that ‘Mooning’ is a song the left out of the Grease movie. I read about it somewhere.”
“Why didn’t you say that earlier?” snapped Ikkaku.
“Cause I wasn’t sure, idiot!”
“Idiot! Why….” Matsumoto punched Ikkaku.
“Calm down, baldy. You should be used to people calling you stupid by now.”
Ikkaku glared at her.
“Well, goodbye,” Matsumoto said as she and Hitsugaya left.
“Yes, goodbye,” said Yumichika as he and Ikkaku followed the two out the door.
“Singing Broadway show tunes, huh,” said Ichigo as he collapsed on his bed. “It be interesting to see Ikkaku sing.”
“And it’d be interesting to see you sing,” Rukia said in a sing-song voice as she left his room.
“Ugh,” Ichigo groaned into his pillow. Stupid teachers.