(no subject)
Title: To wish impossible things
Author/Artist: me
Pairing: Russia/Prussia
Rating: M, just to be safe
Warnings: very slight references to violence and sexual themes, heartache, my bad english in the descriptions and a HAPPY END OMFG
Summary: An almost fanfiction-like FST to Russia and Prussia, that throws a little different view of them than the common one ;) Heavily inspired by some really awesome fanfiction-writers for that pairing. Especially monophobie's "Dear Diary, I'm Awesome" over there at animexx (german fanfiction). The first FST I ever finished! D: GOD that was hard.
If you use I-Tunes, you can read the
full song-lyrics there :)
CAROLINA LIAR - "COMING TO TERMS"
'Cause this hurts, I can't leave
I understand, but can you
I'm just scared, you're lonely
Everyone knows you're better than me
[ After WWII Gilbert is handed over to Russia. And since there's no way to escape,
he has to stay with Ivan and his people, pained by his own regret. ]
Michael Jackson - "Stranger in Moscow"
Sunny days seem far away
Kremlin's shadow belittlin' me
Stalin's tomb won't let me be
[...]
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside
Here abandoned in my fame
Armageddon of the brain
KGB was doggin' me
Take my name and just let me be
[ Gilbert feels more homesick then ever in his life and misses his brother.
This and his pride are the main reasons, why he hates being under Russia. ]
Florence and the Machine - "Blinding"
Seems that I have been held in some dreaming state
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber
Until I realized that it was you who held me under
Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
[ It's still hard to comprehend all the horrible things, that happened during the war
and only slowly, as weeks and months pass, Gilbert realizes, that he's not longer
a free man. He's like a prisoner in Ivan's house. ]
Three Days Grace - "I hate everything about you"
Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet
Only when I stop to think about it
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
[ Ivan and Gilbert develop a strange Love-Hate-Relationship. ]
The Bravery - "Hatefuck"
If I put my hands around your wrists
Would you fight them?
If I put my fingers in your mouth
Would you bite them?
So many things that I would do
If I had my way with you.
[...]
And there will be no tenderness
No tenderness
And there will be no tenderness
No tenderness
I will show no mercy for you
You have no mercy for me
The only thing that I ask
Love me mercilessly
[ When they have sex, they treat each other rather rough.
They do it not because they hate each otherbut because it's a way to punish themselves for all
their crimes during the war. Because it's more satisfying than hitting and shouting. ]
Sarah McLachlan - "Full of grace"
The winter here's cold, and bitter
it's chilled us to the bone
we haven't seen the sun for weeks
too long too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
and I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
oh darkness I feel like letting go
[ Gilbert slowly allows himself, to watch Ivan's world as he does.
And realizes, why he hates the winter so much. ]
Francesca Gregorini - "Sugar Sex"
So kiss me, kiss me, hold me!
Cause there's no cure for pain, sugar sex in vain.
[ All this time they live side by side more or less, without much talking. And if they do it's more
like fighting with harsh words and unreasonable and faked hatred. Finally they turn to each other.
Gilbert because he can't stand it anymore to feel so alone even if this house is occupied by so many people.
And, Ivan, because he wants to feel something in his arms, that seems to last forever and to forget all these
painful and traumatizing things that happened in his past. ]
Jars of clay - "Heart"
One flag left to burn, one country to fall
One soul to pour out, one love to catch all
No walls to defend, wars to align
Give me your heart, you already have mine
No mountains to climb, papers to sign
Offer your heart, I've given you mine
[ Ivan realizes that suddenly there's something more he feels towards the albino.
Now he wants Gilbert to himself for different, more human reasons. ]
Buck-Tick - "Misshitsu" (jap. "Secret Room")
I want to seclude you somewhere
Always in my heart, aah you are
Someday you will understand my feelings
Aah, all this about you
I know your pain, all my joy is in you
so stay beside me, smiling
Into your wounds my love overflows
So stay here, and please don't cry
Be mine alone
[ Everyone thinks, Ivan holds Gilbert as a prisoner. And he makes them think that by acting cruel.
Well, he did hold him like that at first. But the truth is, he CAN'T let him go. Not yet. Not until he's
100 % positive, that it's secure to release him, without him vanishing, since his former territory isn't
Prussia's anymore. There's only one Germany. And Gilbert himself has no real right anymore to exist.
But Ivan couldn't bear it, if Gilbert really vanished. ]
UNKLE - "What are you to me"
Been here before
A million open doors
Only one would set me free
So I fought against the wall
And tried to work out
What you are to me, to me, to me, to me...
[ Gilbert always thinks about ways to escape this place, he hates so much.
But lately he's also thinking about, what Ivan exactly means to him now,
since he came to the conclusion, that after living with him for so long and getting
to know him during the years, he can't hate him anymore. ]
Red - "Pieces"
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
[ When WWII ended, Gilbert didn't have anything left anymore. He didn't have a territory,
he didn't have his brother. Even his pride began to shatter. But Ivan kept him and made
him the GDR, so Gilbert has the right to still be there, even if Prussia doesn't exist anymore. ]
Keane - "Spiralling"
But everytime
I reach for you
You slip
Through my fingers
Into cold sunlight
Laughing at the things
That I had planned
The map of my world gets
Smaller as I sit here
Pulling at the loose
Threads now
[ Ivan tries everything to make Gilbert's life in his house bearable.
And he succeeds because there truly are some nice days in their life's now,
filled with smiles and laughter, even if the time they live in still is troubled and complicated.
But as hard as he tries, Ivan can't reach him. And soon the other nations,
that were living with him, slowly start leaving him. One by one. ]
Clint Mansell - "Stay with me"
[instrumental]
[ Ivan knows, Gilbert would run as soon as the wall would break down,
because he misses his brother and his friends like hell. But he still gathers
enough courage to ask him to stay with him. ]
Hinder - "Bliss"
I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't wanna know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over
[ When the Berlin wall falls, Gilbert leaves as Ivan expected.
And after some time it's just Ivan in his big empty house. ]The Cure - "To wish impossible things"
it was the sweetness of your skin
it was the hope of all we might have been
that fills me with the hope to wish
impossible things
but now the sun shines cold
and all the sky is grey
the stars are dimmed by clouds and tears
and all i wish
is gone away
[ He loves him. And that's why he had let him go. ]
Silbermond - "Die Liebe lässt mich nicht"
I feel totally slack
And that though my heart still beats
Like this house I am cold and empty
Because the other half is missing
I swore to get along with it
As good as possible
Now look at me, I am worth nothing anymore
Like a heart that only beats of out pity
How can one only be so cold
Doesn't that all effect you anymore
You only throw your shadow
Over which I can't jump
[...]
Tell me
What has to happen
Until you mean nothing to me anymore
I would love to hate you
But love won't let me
The love won't me
I did not want to think of you anymore
Believe me I tried
Wanted to drown you in wine
But as you can see that did not work
[ The way, Ivan feels after Gilbert left him since the fall of the Berlin wall.
Even after all these years he can't forget him. He once had asked him,
if he would stay with him, if he would have the chance to go. Gilbert
didn't answer back then because he wasn't too sure himself about it
anymore. If he would really be able to leave him without a second
thought. But in the end his homesickness got the better of him. And he
never tried to contact Ivan after that time. He wanted to forget that man and
the troubled emotions that came with being with him. ]
Nickelback - "Far away"
I need to hear you say
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
[ It's hard for Gilbert, to find the courage to go back to the man,
that once was his captor. The man that owned his everything.
But finally he leaps over his own shadow, confronts him and confesses. ]
[ BONUS # 1 ]
Ryan Marissa - "Unchained Melody"
Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
[ Happy End :D Because I'm a sap-whore xD ]
[ BONUS # 2]
Clint Mansell - "Death is the road to awe"
[instrumental]
[ I think, this song describes their relationship (as I would imagine it) and their history rather accurately.
Their feelings - the negative ones as well as the positive - are smoldering from the beginning, growing,
fuelled by hate before it suddenly turns in the opposite way. Everything changes, slowly at first but
growing more powerful until the point where everything escalates, the wall falls and they're drifting apart.]
[ BONUS # 3]
Danny Elfman - "Ice Dance"
[instrumental]
[ Because I somehow always felt that song connected to the both of them -
especially like, in this storylike FST, when their feelings suddenly changed. ]
Download the FST here:
http://www.mediafire.com/?s8mouru712xsm4a
Password: snowbunny
LARGE FILE! 138 MB!
/)/)
(o.o)
o( ,, ,,)
I know, this is not a storyline that seems to be cannon for those two characters, but I hope you'll enjoy it nontheless ♥
Please let me know, what you think. And please don't flame ;A; I'm so anxious to post this here XD°
Author/Artist: me
Pairing: Russia/Prussia
Rating: M, just to be safe
Warnings: very slight references to violence and sexual themes, heartache, my bad english in the descriptions and a HAPPY END OMFG
Summary: An almost fanfiction-like FST to Russia and Prussia, that throws a little different view of them than the common one ;) Heavily inspired by some really awesome fanfiction-writers for that pairing. Especially monophobie's "Dear Diary, I'm Awesome" over there at animexx (german fanfiction). The first FST I ever finished! D: GOD that was hard.
If you use I-Tunes, you can read the
full song-lyrics there :)
CAROLINA LIAR - "COMING TO TERMS"
'Cause this hurts, I can't leave
I understand, but can you
I'm just scared, you're lonely
Everyone knows you're better than me
[ After WWII Gilbert is handed over to Russia. And since there's no way to escape,
he has to stay with Ivan and his people, pained by his own regret. ]
Michael Jackson - "Stranger in Moscow"
Sunny days seem far away
Kremlin's shadow belittlin' me
Stalin's tomb won't let me be
[...]
How does it feel
When you're alone
And you're cold inside
Here abandoned in my fame
Armageddon of the brain
KGB was doggin' me
Take my name and just let me be
[ Gilbert feels more homesick then ever in his life and misses his brother.
This and his pride are the main reasons, why he hates being under Russia. ]
Florence and the Machine - "Blinding"
Seems that I have been held in some dreaming state
A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake
No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber
Until I realized that it was you who held me under
Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids
Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs
No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden
[ It's still hard to comprehend all the horrible things, that happened during the war
and only slowly, as weeks and months pass, Gilbert realizes, that he's not longer
a free man. He's like a prisoner in Ivan's house. ]
Three Days Grace - "I hate everything about you"
Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet
Only when I stop to think about it
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
[ Ivan and Gilbert develop a strange Love-Hate-Relationship. ]
The Bravery - "Hatefuck"
If I put my hands around your wrists
Would you fight them?
If I put my fingers in your mouth
Would you bite them?
So many things that I would do
If I had my way with you.
[...]
And there will be no tenderness
No tenderness
And there will be no tenderness
No tenderness
I will show no mercy for you
You have no mercy for me
The only thing that I ask
Love me mercilessly
[ When they have sex, they treat each other rather rough.
They do it not because they hate each otherbut because it's a way to punish themselves for all
their crimes during the war. Because it's more satisfying than hitting and shouting. ]
Sarah McLachlan - "Full of grace"
The winter here's cold, and bitter
it's chilled us to the bone
we haven't seen the sun for weeks
too long too far from home
I feel just like I'm sinking
and I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
oh darkness I feel like letting go
[ Gilbert slowly allows himself, to watch Ivan's world as he does.
And realizes, why he hates the winter so much. ]
Francesca Gregorini - "Sugar Sex"
So kiss me, kiss me, hold me!
Cause there's no cure for pain, sugar sex in vain.
[ All this time they live side by side more or less, without much talking. And if they do it's more
like fighting with harsh words and unreasonable and faked hatred. Finally they turn to each other.
Gilbert because he can't stand it anymore to feel so alone even if this house is occupied by so many people.
And, Ivan, because he wants to feel something in his arms, that seems to last forever and to forget all these
painful and traumatizing things that happened in his past. ]
Jars of clay - "Heart"
One flag left to burn, one country to fall
One soul to pour out, one love to catch all
No walls to defend, wars to align
Give me your heart, you already have mine
No mountains to climb, papers to sign
Offer your heart, I've given you mine
[ Ivan realizes that suddenly there's something more he feels towards the albino.
Now he wants Gilbert to himself for different, more human reasons. ]
Buck-Tick - "Misshitsu" (jap. "Secret Room")
I want to seclude you somewhere
Always in my heart, aah you are
Someday you will understand my feelings
Aah, all this about you
I know your pain, all my joy is in you
so stay beside me, smiling
Into your wounds my love overflows
So stay here, and please don't cry
Be mine alone
[ Everyone thinks, Ivan holds Gilbert as a prisoner. And he makes them think that by acting cruel.
Well, he did hold him like that at first. But the truth is, he CAN'T let him go. Not yet. Not until he's
100 % positive, that it's secure to release him, without him vanishing, since his former territory isn't
Prussia's anymore. There's only one Germany. And Gilbert himself has no real right anymore to exist.
But Ivan couldn't bear it, if Gilbert really vanished. ]
UNKLE - "What are you to me"
Been here before
A million open doors
Only one would set me free
So I fought against the wall
And tried to work out
What you are to me, to me, to me, to me...
[ Gilbert always thinks about ways to escape this place, he hates so much.
But lately he's also thinking about, what Ivan exactly means to him now,
since he came to the conclusion, that after living with him for so long and getting
to know him during the years, he can't hate him anymore. ]
Red - "Pieces"
I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
[ When WWII ended, Gilbert didn't have anything left anymore. He didn't have a territory,
he didn't have his brother. Even his pride began to shatter. But Ivan kept him and made
him the GDR, so Gilbert has the right to still be there, even if Prussia doesn't exist anymore. ]
Keane - "Spiralling"
But everytime
I reach for you
You slip
Through my fingers
Into cold sunlight
Laughing at the things
That I had planned
The map of my world gets
Smaller as I sit here
Pulling at the loose
Threads now
[ Ivan tries everything to make Gilbert's life in his house bearable.
And he succeeds because there truly are some nice days in their life's now,
filled with smiles and laughter, even if the time they live in still is troubled and complicated.
But as hard as he tries, Ivan can't reach him. And soon the other nations,
that were living with him, slowly start leaving him. One by one. ]
Clint Mansell - "Stay with me"
[instrumental]
[ Ivan knows, Gilbert would run as soon as the wall would break down,
because he misses his brother and his friends like hell. But he still gathers
enough courage to ask him to stay with him. ]
Hinder - "Bliss"
I don't wanna know it's over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don't wanna know it's over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What's in front of me
Cause the vodka's running on empty
I can't stay sober
If it's over
[ When the Berlin wall falls, Gilbert leaves as Ivan expected.
And after some time it's just Ivan in his big empty house. ]The Cure - "To wish impossible things"
it was the sweetness of your skin
it was the hope of all we might have been
that fills me with the hope to wish
impossible things
but now the sun shines cold
and all the sky is grey
the stars are dimmed by clouds and tears
and all i wish
is gone away
[ He loves him. And that's why he had let him go. ]
Silbermond - "Die Liebe lässt mich nicht"
I feel totally slack
And that though my heart still beats
Like this house I am cold and empty
Because the other half is missing
I swore to get along with it
As good as possible
Now look at me, I am worth nothing anymore
Like a heart that only beats of out pity
How can one only be so cold
Doesn't that all effect you anymore
You only throw your shadow
Over which I can't jump
[...]
Tell me
What has to happen
Until you mean nothing to me anymore
I would love to hate you
But love won't let me
The love won't me
I did not want to think of you anymore
Believe me I tried
Wanted to drown you in wine
But as you can see that did not work
[ The way, Ivan feels after Gilbert left him since the fall of the Berlin wall.
Even after all these years he can't forget him. He once had asked him,
if he would stay with him, if he would have the chance to go. Gilbert
didn't answer back then because he wasn't too sure himself about it
anymore. If he would really be able to leave him without a second
thought. But in the end his homesickness got the better of him. And he
never tried to contact Ivan after that time. He wanted to forget that man and
the troubled emotions that came with being with him. ]
Nickelback - "Far away"
I need to hear you say
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
[ It's hard for Gilbert, to find the courage to go back to the man,
that once was his captor. The man that owned his everything.
But finally he leaps over his own shadow, confronts him and confesses. ]
[ BONUS # 1 ]
Ryan Marissa - "Unchained Melody"
Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
[ Happy End :D Because I'm a sap-whore xD ]
[ BONUS # 2]
Clint Mansell - "Death is the road to awe"
[instrumental]
[ I think, this song describes their relationship (as I would imagine it) and their history rather accurately.
Their feelings - the negative ones as well as the positive - are smoldering from the beginning, growing,
fuelled by hate before it suddenly turns in the opposite way. Everything changes, slowly at first but
growing more powerful until the point where everything escalates, the wall falls and they're drifting apart.]
[ BONUS # 3]
Danny Elfman - "Ice Dance"
[instrumental]
[ Because I somehow always felt that song connected to the both of them -
especially like, in this storylike FST, when their feelings suddenly changed. ]
Download the FST here:
http://www.mediafire.com/?s8mouru712xsm4a
Password: snowbunny
LARGE FILE! 138 MB!
/)/)
(o.o)
o( ,, ,,)
I know, this is not a storyline that seems to be cannon for those two characters, but I hope you'll enjoy it nontheless ♥
Please let me know, what you think. And please don't flame ;A; I'm so anxious to post this here XD°