(no subject)
I am bored so I am going to write down lyrics that describe how I feel right now. Or somewhat close. You know because I make my boyfriend in a bad mood. And my whole family hates me right now for some reason. Whatever though. Music will either make it worse or better. I can sit hear for a long time crying. Believe me. Dashboard is always good. Doesn't really make you feel better, it makes you feel worse but you see I am a depressed person and I am pessamistic so thats what I should do. Make myself feel worse and waste away for the next week or so until something worse comes along. Cause I am such a mean person and I deserve all this pain that I am so blessed to feel everyday. Emily, Heather, and Nikki are the only people who don't piss me off and I don't even get to see them. They probably think I just ignore them all the time. They probably don't even like me anymore. Well they like me but they probably get annoyed with me quite a lot. Cause I spend all my time with Alex. Which you know didn't really bug me until I found out I put him in a bad mood. And he gets mad at the way I am everyday. I told him the last time we fought that he needed to prove to me that this relashionship was worth it and he has just reinforced to me that this relashionship has run its course. God that is depressing as hell to say. I keep saying to myself that it isn't true. but he keeps proving me wrong over and over again. He is not even trying to change anything. I hope things get better. I hope to god or satan or allah or whoever the hell is listening that things get better.
"These are the days it never rains but it pours......."-Under Pressure, David Bowie and Queen
"Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing, I'd rather you never heard my voice. Your calling too late. Too late to be gracious.You do not warrent long goodbyes."-Best Deceptions, Dashboard confessional
"I'll try," she said as he walked away.
"Try not to lose you."
Two vibrant hearts could change.
Nothing tears the being more than deception,
unmasked fear.
I'll be here waiting" tested and secure.I wish I could be the one,
the one who won't care at all
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, no one's guiding me.
When time soaked with blood turns its back,
I know it's hard to fall.
Confided in me was your heart
I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me"-Unholy Confessions, A7X
I told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out- I'm not okay, MCR
I am gonna to go on a drive now and maybe I will crash.............
"On the way home,
this car hears my confessions.
I think tonight I'll take the long way.
This weather.
The wind outside is biting.
It has left me feeling tired & exposed.
You've been asking me to bleed.
It seems these kinds of questions
They come too easy to you now.
Your lack of shame comes naturally.
I should not be suprised.
I should have seen it sooner.
You expect me to apologize
for things that you've done wrong.
While you're inciting others.
You're owning up to nothing
and I wish that I was gone,
because you're not going anywhere.
This damp air
is fighting my defroster.
My sighs they ring victorious
& fog this tinted glass.
It's clouded
& so is my head.
The hint of these new tears are sharp.
I try to choke them back.
But it's useless.
I am useless against them.
They are beating me with ease.
On the way home
this car hears my confessions.
I think tonight I'll take the long way."