Have you ever cried so hard?
Today basically seemed like a good day, but sometimes good things are overpowered by really bad things. I talked to my consulor today about how I was finding it really hard to tell my parents about my sister because everything I have heard has become a fact, and it scares me. I mean things are bad with her. She is doing drugs I have never even heard of and ones that I never thought she would ever do. How am I supposed to tell my parents that my sister is a druggie and lies to them all the time? How can I do that? How can I be the one to ruin a huge part of their life? How can I rat on my sister? She will hate me, all her friends will hate me. They will want to kick my ass and whose to say they won't. No one understands what I am going through with this whole thing. My parents always exspected it would be in this situation. But I don't think they want to admit that it is Rebecca. I am so afraid for her. She is doing things that could kill her. How would I feel if she did get hurt or she Overdosed and I had done nothing to stop it. I would have to live with that forever. When I try to tell people this whole thing it doesn't help. All of them just give me the same look and the same responses. I feel so alone cause I am so afraid that my parents will not believe me. I really don't know what I am feeling right now. I am so scared and god why the fuck does this always have to happen. Nothing can go right for very long.
O god on top of all this I have to go to work in a couple of minutes and deal with a whole bunch of bitchy people. No one there gives a fuck about anyone but themselves. I have so much shit to deal with right now. I am getting sick and I have got so much on my mind all of it bigger than I am. My life could be over by next thursday the way things are looking now.