Speechless

[closetnymph]

I want to be able to transfer my thoughts.
Just look at you or reach out to you and you'd understand what I'm trying to say.
You'd just know.
'Cus it hurts to say things sometimes.
Every now and then I find it hard to just open my mouth and say what needs to be said.
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs but you don't hear me.
An entire conversation goes on.
Only, it's just in my head.
I'm telling you what you wanted to know, just not with words. Words are complicated things.
It's trying to give form to something intangible.
It's really difficult for me.
I don't want to say the wrong thing or use a word that doesn't aptly suit what I want to express.
I want to be careful because I wouldn't be able to take it back.
I'm sorry if you find it frustrating.
Struggling to speak is a million times worse.
I'm not hesitating to talk to you.
Just because I'm quiet, doesn't mean I'm mad.
That's not the case at all.
It's just me trying to sort things through.
So I'm a little slow, bear with me.
Don't get mad.
I can't force myself to stop the pauses in our conversations.
I'm sorry if the silence kills you.
Please be patient...