Fallen.
It is maddening how quickly I have fallen for you. Your sweet smile and kind eyes, intensified only by your understanding heart, have somehow caught me off guard and tricked me into submission. While it's true that the whirlwind of romance handed the romantic (yours truly) rose colored spectacles, it also imparted an erratic and uncontrollable fear.
I. AM. PETRIFIED. OF. YOU. ...and of all the ways you can now hurt me. It is my experience that kind eyes and a gentle smile lead way to a broken heart, and unfortunately, I'm not sure how much more breakage my own can endure.
But, and I'm not sure which way to lean on this, I am irrevocably in love with you- and that cannot change (or will not? It's very stubborn this heart of mine). You are beautiful beyond measure. And in those instances that I awake to your eyes on mine, or your hand caressing my cheek, I feel at peace. The cacophony in my head silences (if only for a brief moment) and I feel (to my very fingertips) whole.
You are smarter than I am, and more independent. You are well read and well versed. You are kinder and braver and more rational. You are less prone to destructive behavior and more prone to influential endeavors. You have stronger convictions and spontaneous adventures. YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL. In every god damn sense of the word. And I am simply lucky to be the moth drawn to the flame I will inevitably get burnt by. I am simply lucky to be anywhere near you.
You would read this and think I exaggerate.
I assure you I don't.
I feel humbled standing next to you. And my fear is that because of this, you will awake one day, your eyes will find mine, and you will realize that the person next to you isn't what you want... That I am not what you deserve.
And it would be true of course.
But god I pray I'm smart enough to trick you for a lifetime. Because I know I will never do better than you...
You are, as repeated, someone pretty much perfect. I guess I should feel lucky to get the time with you I do...
But I am terrified to lose it.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.