(no subject)
what a long weekend, and it's not even over yet! Mollie and Melissa just left. Richard has been in and out also. thursday night we went to caz and almost died on the way home! We were in g-town goin 2 Melissa's 2 get popcorn and we looked to c if Natalie was workin at the store and when we looked back at the road she was on the other side of the road and htere was a car RIGHT in front of her! So she swerved and we all thought we were gonna die. We got back here and watched Anchorman: the Ledgend of Ron Burgendy. I FRICKEN LOVE THAT MOVIE. I saw some of it at Kenny's house but not the whole thing... so it was cool to see it all. Friday we were gonna go 2 the palace but we didnt cuz Richard asked me not 2. So we went snowmobiling. Mollie and Melissa had never been! Mollie didnt like it very much cuz the 1st corner we went around she didnt lean with me and we dumped it. Melissa liked it though. We went up on the hill and i had it to the bar! Melissa had tears commin out of her eyes we were goin so fast, all we had on was jeans hoddies and sneakers. It wasnt very cold at all. I didnt even have on gloves. When we got back Lucy (Mollie's mom) was here. Mollie went home to take a shower and do laundry and take a shower. When she came back the 3 of us went to the mall just to get my mom's wedding ring. When she had her surgery they had to cut it off and she finally got it fixed. My mom just gave me the slip and said " Have fun". Richard came over that night and hung out 4 a while. He got all pissed off at me and we got n a big fight.
So today Mollie's mom called at 9 n the ficken morning! Uhhh man and all iwanted to do was sleep in! Richard wasnt supposed 2 b here till like 11 and noooo y would i be able 2 sleep in? That would b insane! *God Jesus!* Well Mollie had a flute lesson at 20 so me n Melissa danced 2 techno all morning. When Richard got here we watched Anchorman for like the 5th time. We rented another movie called S.I.C.K. (Silly Insane Clown KIller). It was a REALLY low budget film and we watched like the 1st 5 minutes of it. By that time Mollie was back and so we watched Saw. The M's and I made a penutbutter cake and then Mollie had 2 work. Richard had 2 work at 5 so he took Melissa home. I had so much fun this weekend! And its not even over! eing with my 2 best friends AND my boyfriend at the same time is like the best thing in the world. I wish that i could stay like that 4ever, and not have to go back to school where all the ppl that i dislike are. Some ppl are such assholes! Just because you wont have sex with some1 they atomaticaly become a prick and only talk 2 u when they want somthing! ( You know who im talkin 2!)
I want something more than this. I want to be happy all the time. Happy with evey part of my life, not just one part of it. I hate looking at happy ppl. They make me sick. I love Richard and I have two of the best friends anyone could ask for, but that doesnt last forever. Relationships end, friendships get torn apart, wheather it be by a move, college, or even just a fight, it happens. Y cant i be happy? I have no idea what I want, or how to get it. UUUUUUhhhhhhh. Sometimes i miss being high. I want to wake up the next morning and not remember the shit that happened the day before. But i wont do it. I made Richard promise, and i promise i wont. I love you too much. I mean it. When i lived in Florida and i would be at Nina's house and tell my boyfriend that i loved them and Nina would freak out on me and say " DO YOU REALLY LOVE HIM? NO! SO DONT SAY IT!" Remember that?! Well guess what, this time, when i say it, I MEAN IT!!! He alwayz tells me he knows he loves me because if me and his mom were in the water drowning and he only had 1 float to throw, he would throw it to me. Well I would throw him the float. I dotn know what i would do without him. I dont really care if we were goin out or not, as long as he's n my life. He IS my BEST friend. I tell him everything! Even when im mad at him, and most grlz would vent to thier best friend about him, i say it to him. " You pissed me off 2day!" I think that it makes us that much stronger. We dont have to hide that we're mad. We just tell eachother instead of dancing around it and pretending everythings ok. Id rather b screaming at him and him at me than him being so pissed off at me that he wont talk 2 me.
Well im really tired now and i thikn i've said to much. I dont really like people to like how i feel anymore. IDK. It's weird. Just know that i love Richard, and i mean it. And that Mollie and Melissa (a.k.a. the M's) are my loves and my life. All togetherthe three of them are all that is of me. And i wish that will NEVER change.