umm...y didnt u think of that BEFORE you broke up with me?!
OK. So Richard and i are STILL broke up. I know. it's a record. But now i really dont know how much i wanna be with him. I mean i Do wanna be with him, but i want him 2 WANT to be with me back. I know that he loves me a nd he knows that i love him, and thats the problem. I do love him and its SOOOO hard for me o just let go. He wasn't going to work and was hanging out with this SLUTTT!!!!! But he stopped. B-cuz he didnt want me 2 be mad at him, He told me last noght that he wants me back soooo bad! I dont want to be hurt like this again though. He told me that he COMPLEATLY stopped smoking pot, i told him that i'll belive it when i see it. I told him his promises do mean shit to me any more, and that he has to earn his trust back with me. We're still talknig and every day he wines that he misses me more and more. His skipped out on a party Sat. night so he could talk to me all night. He said he almost came 2 McDonalds yesterday cuz he wants to see me so bad, but he didnt cuz i asked him not to. I dont want to cry at work. I cant stop crying. I've gotten better though. I see pictures of him, which are everywhere, and i cry, i can see him sitting in my kitchenor in my living room, and i cry, FUCK!! im crying now just thinking about it! I dont know what to do. It hurts so bad but i know that i dont want to go through this again. I told him that i wont go back out with him untill he PROVEs to me that I AM EXACTLY what he wants. He better make up his mind fast though. I told him the other night that it felt like i was talking to a friend when i talked to him ( i was lying) but he said it made him upset because he wants to be more than friends. I DONT FUCKING KNOW!!!!!!!! IM SO GOD DAMN CONFUSED AND I HATE IT!!!!!