(Untitled)

Jun 16, 2011 23:27


This story was all over the front page of the Metro recently: 'Wicked' mother gets life for smothering newborn in clingfilm. I think the Metro story focused even more on the "witchcraft" element, which seems both irrelevant and speculative, but I'm not going to talk about that. In fact, I don't really want to talk about this specific case, since ( Read more... )

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jobob_80 June 21 2011, 10:40:17 UTC
I thought I would comment on this precisely because I find it very hard to deal with logically.

I'm going to deal with motherhood specifically in the following because firstly I've experienced it, and secondly it comes with all sorts of fun hormonal and body changes which make it a very distinct experience from fatherhood, particularly in the early stages.

It's well known that new parenthood is both tiring and hard. Babies are the worst sort of emotional blackmailers. It doesn't matter how tired you are, or how much you want to just switch off -- if there's something wrong with the baby the baby will cry: no pity, no remorse, just ceaseless crying. If you've ever been sleep-deprived while someone is relentlessly playing on your emotions (you don't love me, if you loved me you'd make it better) you begin to see the way it is with a newborn. It's a very dangerous combination, this helpless being with the ability to play a full-grown adult to the very edge. You know that way when you just want to break things? That's a very dangerous urge when there's a baby nearby.

This essential dichotomy of this much-loved, fragile person causing such intense frustration is a very important part of why mothers turning on babies is so emotionally fraught, and a part that people who don't have children could easily fail to appreciate. On the very edge of frustration and sleep deprivation, you have to confront your own demons and discover exactly how far you can be pushed, with the ultimate penalty for failure. It's pretty obvious that in a society of millions of parents, with such an extreme test, some people will fail it. Some people will crack under the pressure. And when they do we have all failed that baby -- because there should be support in place.

So, to answer the questions:
Mother killing newborn feels worse than an older child, precisely because a person in a position of authority over someone who is utterly helpless should be trustworthy. Older children are less helpless. However the newborn is in more danger because the mother is flooded with hormones which impact her mood and behaviour and the newborn has no subtlety in its manipulation of her. I can't decide whether it's more shocking that a mother could logically or evilly decide to kill their own child (at any age) rather than simply be pushed over the edge by emotions.
I don't really see the value in saying whether a painless death is worse than a serious injury -- it really depends on intent. One could intend a painless death and still end up with serious injury (paracetamol overdose comes to mind). Generally I tend to think that being alive beats being dead, but to me a crime is worse based on the motivation of the subject rather than the outcome for the victim.

Generally, a parent committing a crime against their child is worse to me than a stranger, because parents are in a position of authority (even ultimate authority) over their children and must therefore be expected to be trustworthy and accountable. There is a greater covenant which is broken when a parent harms their child.

I still struggle to see the place of the law to be "punishment". I'd far rather see rehabilitation and protection of society than feel that criminals get their just desserts. But I'm not certain society at large is willing to think like that.

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